RachLIVE Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 (edited) I genuinely feel slefish for still feeling sad about him. Ive been feeling like this for a few months. There are a few reasons I feel selfish: -One is because I know people going thorugh so much worse than what I am. It does help give me perspective but doesnt make me feel any happier (& is turning me very syinical lol). -Two is the fact that I know I have a good life, & in some ways just feel spoilt for feeling this way. Kinda like, I have a great circle of close friends & family & college is going awesome but theres still that missing piece & so feel slefish for trying to have it all. (Im even paranoid about coming off sounding badly about this point) -Three is just the fact that its taking so long to heal. I dont talk about anything out loud really just because I feel like my friends dont wanna hear me moan & mope after several months. -Four is that I got my closure. I attempted friendship, didnt work out, I ended the "friendship" on my terms. I got my goodbye & I left nothing unsaid (well I didnt use the words ILY exactly but the gist..). Closures gift people rarely get & so I feel slefish for the fact that it hasnt yet healed me. Edited November 8, 2009 by RachLIVE rephrasing a sentance..
mickleb Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Don't know when it all happened, Rach but maybe, if you stopped feeling guilty about grieving an important loss in your life, you'd be able to heal more quickly? You shouldn't feel bad about any of the above. And I can see you joined in September, so I wouldn't EXPECT you to be at any place, in particular, on your path to healing. You're not still in 'shattering' from the sounds of things, so that's healthy. I won't be advising a doctor. You're 'internalising' a lot, though and that's stopping you from really going into 'rage', which really helps with letting go. Try looking at www.abandonment.net for more of what I'm going on about. And stop beating yourself up. That will keep you wounded. x
Author RachLIVE Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 Happened alomst 10 months ago, but because I kept in touch & stayed in denile really I dragged everything on much longer than it should, but because it was so long ago thats whats made me feel like I shouldve moved on by now. I know I can be harsh on myself & im working on that so I know ill get there. Thats a good site cheers (:
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