having a hard time dealing with my first breakup

[kairi and sora]

i posted this in coping, but i thought i would also post in here as it falls under the same category and i wanted some more insight.

 

okay so im a freshmen in college now, and ive only had one girlfriend in the past, weve gone to school together since 1st grade, and were best friends for 3 years prior to going out. we started to go out around christmas last year, and she was my first EVERYTHING. first kiss, first time holding hands, first time "around the bases" as you will. we were so in love, everything was perfect, we would spend basically every moment together, and i revolved my world around this girl for a little over 10 months, everything i could do to make her happy and bring a smile to her face, i did. i thought she was the one, i thought that she would be my one and only, but i found out a week ago that she cheated on me she told me it was because we fought too often, and she couldnt take it anymore. i was so heartbroken, so depressed, i just slept through everyday, only to cry when i got up. not getting out of bed, no nothing, its been 3 days now of NC and im starting to lose my mind, ive tried hanging out with friends, trying new things, everything, working out, training, running, i cant get my mind off of her. she tried to call me yesterday about 3 or 4 times, but i was so determined not to break nc, but she didnt leave a message or text or anything. theres some things of mine that she has that i would really like back, personal momentos from my childhood i gave her out of confidence, so she would always have a little piece of me with her. but i dont want to break NC to go and get it, i want to see her so bad and just hold her and get everything back.

 

i just need some kind words right now i guess :'( someone with some words of wisdom or advice to help get me through this :'( i just want her back so bad, i want eveyrhting to go back to normal, even though i know it cant

[106rob]

hey just read this and altough i cannot give you advice,(im going throguh exacly the same thing as you are) what i can say is have a few hours looking around here mate,and search for posts simerler to yours and just read the replys honestly it will make you feel better no matter how down you are

 

i was with my girlfriend for 2 years and she recently left me when she went to university (i think you still call it college in america?) and as you are feeling now i felt the same and nearly a month has passed and NC is defo the way to go iv only gone a few days but i do feel a little better already at first i was constantly checking her FB page and waiting for my iphone to ring and wanted it so bad to be her but it never did and i decided this was the best option,i still get myself into states when im working nights mainly woundering what she is upto and who with etc but i guess that natural

 

one piece of advice i read on here and will pass on is: dont mither her or let he know how much your hurting you dont want her to forget the good times and just think of you as the "annoying EX" it wil be hard,it has been for me and i have broken it at first more than onece,but this way she will have time to reflect onit and decide if she wants to try again,but dont hang around in hope just try and get on with your life and meet new people,and who knowns in the future what might happen

(this is what im trying to do right now)

 

good luck and do what i do whenever you feel down just log into this place to make you feel a little better about things

[ElChup]

I can sympathise mate. Whilst I am probably a good decade older than you I just came out of what was my first serious, long term engagement. She was the first I had lived with, the first I had become engaged to and the first person to pretty much know everything about me. I loved her to bits and when you first have that first, true love then I doubt there's anything out there that quite replaces it.

 

But, truth is we have no option. We just have to move on as best as we can. I go through serious boughts of depression and crying and find myself tempted to drink away, although I know that's not an option. I'm trying to do as much work as I can to take my mind off of things.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

I can tell you this. If you keep up with no contact it does eventually get easier. It takes different amounts of time for everyone. Mine took me roughly 8 months before it really did not bother me anymore. I've known some people that were over it faster and some that took longer. It probably sounds like hollow words to you now. I remember when my breakup was fresh that it felt like it would never be that way. I can't honestly say that you never feel anything. I still feel things at times for the ex, but they pass quickly now and I don't really dwell on it.

 

The biggest thing is to not let this ruin your image of yourself. It hurts and we all know it. But, you have to accept it and keep going on with life. Working out is a big thing that can help. You said you were in college so I would assume you have some easy access to a gym. It may not sound like a good idea, but it really does help a lot. It puts some endorphins that back into your system and it helps build some confidence.