sungrl Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 my ex and i might get back and so i am probably jumping ahead but he did tell me he was thinking of giving up his apartment and just stay at his mom's to save money..most nights he is there anyways so she isn't alone. The idea of it doesn't bother me, still care for him him no matter what but it will just make things very hard b/c i live at home b/c i can't afford a place yet while paying off loans....i guess i am just thinking further down how we really won't have any privacy at all..it was nice going eating dinner together alone, just spending time watching movies and not be out all the time, going to bed at night together, waking up together--those things i would miss very very much and would have a hard time not having that closeness..staying at his mom's wouldnt be an option--i havent even seen his room but i know its very small and it would just be awkward as well...also he is over 30 and i am a little younger so we definitely aren't in college or early 20's. i just really like that closeness of being home together, kind of having our routine there or getting groceries, going to bed at night together and that wouldn't exist anymore with this situation.
mrgerbick Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I am sure it hard for him too. I recently have been in the same situation, I just turned 30 and moved back home to save money. I miss the same exact routine with my girlfriend, who lives at home as well. If you care for him, that shouldn't matter, if it matters that much maybe you should suggest getting a place together...
mrgerbick Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Why would you be opposed to suggesting something of that sort?
Lucky_One Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 It seems that you think it is ok for you to live at home to save money, but you don't think it is ok for him to live at home to save money?
Author sungrl Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 i am fine with him doing that, doesnt make me care less for him..it would just be a crappy situation, thats all..just sort of venting we aren't going to live together yet
Lucky_One Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Venting is a good thing - but you learn to cope with the difficulties. Sort of like dating while you have children from a previous marriage or something - you learn to work things out and compromise.
betamanlet Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 It seems that you think it is ok for you to live at home to save money, but you don't think it is ok for him to live at home to save money? It's called a double standard. It's okay if she does it, but if guy does it, he's a loser. Same issue with cars. She can go without, he's a loser if he doesn't have one. Also the issue depends where you live. Where I am, because it's a status town, it also matters whether you own or rent, and what area you live in. YOu're a "loser" depending on the answers to these questions. Fortunately many areas aren't this bad.
Author sungrl Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 i never said i wasn't ok with it..it doesnt change my feelings for him..i am venting b/c it kind of makes it a difficult situation in terms of having that closeness of being together alone, having dinner etc etc, thats all
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 It's called a double standard. It's okay if she does it, but if guy does it, he's a loser. Same issue with cars. She can go without, he's a loser if he doesn't have one. I'm not getting that was the point of her post. If she had a place of HER OWN, I don't think she'd even be making this post. I hear ya, sungrl. I'd feel the same frustration. Unfortunately, life isn't always going to be as easy as we'd like. This will take some adjusting.
aerogurl87 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 i never said i wasn't ok with it..it doesnt change my feelings for him..i am venting b/c it kind of makes it a difficult situation in terms of having that closeness of being together alone, having dinner etc etc, thats all I see what you mean, yeah you can miss that closeness and feeling of privacy when neither you or your boyfriend have your own place. My boyfriend lives with his parents right now, but to be honest I still feel like we get enough privacy probably because his parents are gone 90% of the time. I think they were gone like 3 weeks out of the month last week, or close to it. But if his mom is there constantly, that could be a problem. She isn't one of those parents who like to constantly meddle in her children's business and be around him all the time, is she?
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