Printer Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Having been married for 17 years with one son, 13 years old, my wife does not want the marriage anymore, apparently she is no longer in love with me. She moved out six weeks ago and has finally moved into her own flat last week. Everybody is telling me to go LC, but this is proving to be really hard and painful. My son lives with me and my wife turns up either on her way to or from work expecting to spend time with her son and complains if he is not at home. I try and keep him active and busy so as to take his mind off things. It seems that I am damed if I do and damned if I don't. She works different days every week with no set hours. Whilst it's lovely seeing the love of my life she only comes over to see our son and makes small talk with me, which I find upsetting. My son is not keen on staying over with his mum as all his friends live in our street. I don't want to force him to do something against his will. This is proving to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and something I never thought I would have to go through. I think it would be so much easier with NC but that is impossible. Can anybody give me their experience of LC?
Cranialrupture Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Both of you need figure out what a schedule for your son. She needs to be told that just randomly dropping by is not going to happen anymore. Your son will need to be sat down and explained that theres a time for mom and a time for dad. He will get used to it after awhile. With this done it will help with the pain because all shes doing now is reopening your wounds and slowing the healing process down. As far as NC, it is impossible when kids are involved. Get that schedule going asap, and when you do have to have contact, keep it short, polite and strictly just about your son. It is what I have done with my stbxw and we have three kids together. NC is impossible but if you keep it to as much a minimum as possible and just about your son, it will help.
WTFO Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 It is what I have done with my stbxw and we have three kids together. NC is impossible but if you keep it to as much a minimum as possible and just about your son, it will help. This is true,however, my stbx texts me everyday about the kids. Now,there is no emergency she just tells me things that don't really have to be told. IE: Make sure child 1 brushes her teeth at night. Or make sure child 2 has this in her lunch. I don't know if its to keep in "contact" with me someway or she just doesn't think I know what to do when I do. I think 1 day goes by in the week where I don't "hear"something about the kids. Is this normal?
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