Ms. Joolie Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Okay, well this will either work or die out, but it's worth the try. This is your thread for progress in where you are at, for healing, for recovery, and to find strength to move on. Ask yourself: 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? Think about it, share your answers and check back in next week. Good luck!
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 (edited) Right now, I feel like I'm holding onto a false hope... the false hope of the ex returning into my life simply because he mentioned that he could not let me go. What I am doing is realizing this false hope, and finding the strength to let go. No more dreams. Only now, only today.... no false hopes. In one week, I hope to come to a new awareness about the situation. I don't want to be holding on to false hopes. I want to let go of my dream once and for all and learn how to deal with things as they come. (Something like this, but feel free to customize the questions for you. The point is stating your recovery and working at progress. Then you will be able to see from week to week how you've been doing. You will see your progress and that will fuel your strength to continue moving forward.) Edited November 8, 2009 by Ms. Joolie
lilbelle Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Okay, well this will either work or die out, but it's worth the try. This is your thread for progress in where you are at, for healing, for recovery, and to find strength to move on. Ask yourself: 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? Think about it, share your answers and check back in next week. Good luck! 1. I am holding onto hope because thats all that is left and I want him back badly. I am haunted by memories and I miss him so much it's sickening. 2. I'm trying to not think of the past and looking forward to the future. A future I had hoped to share with him. I can't change the past. 3. I want to be in his arms and that's my honest answer. As unrealistic as it is that's what I want more than anything right now.
soheartbroken Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I can basically plagiarize Libelle... 1. I am holding onto hope because that's all that is left and I want her back badly. I am haunted by memories and I miss her so much it's sickening. I went away for the weekend and I was so sad that she wasn't there. 2. I'm trying not to think so much about the past, and trying to look forward to things in the future. But this is so hard because a future without her terrifies me 3. I want to be with her again, but that's realistically not going to happen. So I guess all I can hope for in the next week is that time keeps doing its thing.
adamt Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 1. 5 Months on from NC, bumped into ex yesterday for first time. able to keep my feelings under control and be civil. feel a little bit sad today though. I know we wont get back together, i've accepted my questions wont get asnwered. but i'm still have some small hope back of my mind 2. joined a gym and kept myself busy. Now joined a dating website and meeting/chatting to a couple of females to ease myself back into things. 3. Not sure really, like to have a date lined up with a particular girl i'm interested in.
JolliX Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) I'm doing better with giving up the lost hope and accepting what has gone on. I'm angry about a lot of things (in regards to the terminated relationship), but now I feel a bit hopeless on finding someone that I was such great friends with (relationship wise we didn't see eye to eye, but we worked well as friends). 2) I'm keeping up NC on my end (as in I'm not trying to contact her... I have a feeling she wouldn't get back to me anyway). I've picked up several things I've always wanted to try (volunteering with the local Roller Derby Girls, volunteering with a good cause, picking up more martial arts classes). I'm making myself get out of my apartment instead of moping in it. I find that when I do this, I at least have moments when I forget about things, and feel enjoyment. Finally, I trying to better myself in several ways (counseling, I want to learn some things that have kept my self esteem down in the past, like the lack of ability to dance or skate... lol). 3) In a week, I'd like to be further along in regards to feeling like I lost a great friend. I want to realize I still have great friends, and that I will find more. I want to work on one of my bigger faults, and that's getting attached too quickly in a relationship, and learn to slow things down, and accept that if things aren't working, that I need to let it go. I also want to have another week's worth of expanding my social network (baby steps of triumph there).
tryagaintoday Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? I'll say I'm very much healing and it's going to be over soon. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? I'd started to do alot of things for myself, hang out very often with family and friends. Been dating and may have found someone but time will tell. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? I want to be and feel even better than today. I want to move forward abeit baby steps with my current date.
rickigal Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1. Where am I in this healing process? Acceptance, doesn't get me sad anymore, just think of him a few times a day. 2. What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Living my life. 3. Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? I'd love to never think of him again, but that is not realistic. Maybe indifferent.
USMCHokie Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Ask yourself: 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? After today, not as far along as I thought I was...I find myself thinking about her a lot lately...thinking that she'd be the only one that will ever feel as strongly for me as she did... Trying to find a date to the Marine Corps Ball over the past couple of weeks only made it worse...realizing that no one was interested or available to even go to a Ball made me think that my ex was it...and she's gone... 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Other than this, my life is amazing...I feel like I'm doing all the right things to make myself the best person I can be... 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? Well, my boss offered to buy the ticket from me because he found a date, so that's a HUGE load off my shoulders ($80 a ticket...I was planning on just eating the cost of the extra ticket...). Not really sure where I want to be in a week...I think I've kind of been coasting for the past few weeks...accepting that it's over, but still not over it...
weltrav Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1. Where am I at right now? I honestly do not know, every day is a rollercoaster. She still pops into my head all of the time and just about everything reminds me of her. I'm also still tortured at times thinking of this new guy getting to explore her personality and her passions for the first time. 2. What am I doing to move forward? I'm trying my hardest to stick to NC with her, even printed caliguy's guide and have it in my back pocket. I just found a new job that I will hopefully like more than my current one and am busy applying for PhD programs... which all seems like such an insurmountable task with this depression. 3. Where do I want to be in a week? Hopefully I will still be on NC and I'll be trying my hardest to block her out of my head altogether.
JaggedRoad Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? I'm still in between things. I still have a lot of anger, resentment, and sorrow. I don't want to drag those feelings out, but I don't think it's necessary for me to speed myself through the healing process by trying to ignore those feelings. I've been NC for about a month and I don't plan on breaking it again. I still get urges, and I'm sure those urges will only become stronger when December rolls along. It's definitely going to be tough because my ex's birthday is on the 23rd. Even worse, it's her 21st birthday. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? I'm currently working and I'm putting the money towards clothing, grooming supplies, and fees for gym membership and yoga. I never bothered to learn about fashion or proper grooming. I put off a lot of things when I got into the relationship with my ex because I thought I found my place. I wanted to take things slowly and learn things as they came instead of pursuing them. Now that I'm on my own, I really don't have a choice if I want to be presentable and want to date again. Organization has been a problem for me lately, so I'm going to start a daily checkoff list to make sure I do everything I am supposed to do. I'll also plan my expenses and keep a better record of my available income, so I don't go into panic mode when I'm short on cash. This will give myself a sense of order in my life as well as a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Registration for the Spring 2010 Semester starts tomorrow, so I'm going to take care of that. There are some things at school that I need to resolve. I don't really want to mention what it is here, but the unresolved issues have been plaguing my mind for nearly a year and it's keeping my foot stuck in the past. Once that is over with, I'll only have the present and the future to worry about. I'm going to start off slow, so I can get used to being back at school again. Taking up yoga and going to the gym should help with improving my body and health. I know for sure that I'll feel a lot better when I can finally touch my toes again. I'm skinny, but I'm stiff as a board. And of course, I'll have to eat healthier too. Then there is the issue of faith. Ever since I enrolled in a Bible History course last fall, I've been thinking about aligning myself with a religion. That's one thing that has been missing in my life, and I was constantly thinking about this when I "lost my way" last year. I've decided on Buddhism for the tranquility it brings. I'll turn to subjects from the book from to time when need be, but Buddhism has more to offer. Just to summarize things, it'll be--in order by mention--fashion, grooming, organization, income, education, health, and religion that I'll be keeping myself busy with. There is one other thing that I really want to start, but I'll hold that off until I feel like I have my life back again. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? I want to be completely free from the clutches of the dead relationship! That's what I want, but that's asking for too much. I just want to be glad for another week of NC.
lost_4_words Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? I made the mistake and peered into my ex's myspace page recently and i relapsed. going on 4 months since the breakup, but I've since deleted her off my friends list and controlled myself from ever seeing her profile again. Truly nc is the antidote to cure a broken heart and of course the inspiration that i get from this site. I'm following true nc to a tee this time. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Learning to play my guitar that i picked up when we were together. Its been great when i have to get my mind off things, esp about my ex. The usual thing; working out, going out with friends, meeting new people and finding what i want to improve with myself. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? To truly let go and stop hoping for something that isn't going to happen (if it happens it happens, not gonna hold my breath though ). The time away has made me see things that wasn't clear at the time (in the moment i guess that's what love does ) for the things she said and did during our relationship that led to the breakup (i came to turns i am the rebound), but just like jagged road said another week would suffice. Hope everyone the best!
groedy Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Ask yourself: 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? I guess I am trying to squash hope and stay off of fb. Her sister has taken the liberty of announcing to all of her friends that I am a terrible person and accused me of actively looking for other people online (can check out my old posts if curious). So any kind of second chance would not only include swallowing her pride (which she won't do) but also facing her friends, who seem to dictate her decisions anyway. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? I was always good at this, staying busy with my band, work, friends, family, and began training for a marathon. I have the same cycle, I think about her all day while doing all of these other things. Have myself nearly convinced to reach out to her, but then am so exhausted at the end of the day that I can't even fathom a conversation or reigniting my hope. I guess this is probably a good indicator that my feelings for her aren't that strong if at the end of the day I can't pick up the phone. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? Well, can I just say that I hate being disliked by anyone (ex or otherwise) and it just sucks that I have been wrongly accused about being on a dating site and being uninterested because I was trying to give her space to focus on school. Tag on that that her friends inserted themselves into the relationship and they all think I'm a jackass as well because nearly all of them have had very terrible relationship pasts. So where I want to be is to not care and accept that I am not superman and cannot be the answer to all of their relationship wounds and that I need to be more open next time around so I don't come off as uninterested in my next relationship
ditched Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? Together for 1.5 years. Have been broken up 5 months today. Been NC for four. Though, there was a run-in with her in September which set me back to day one, so I guess its technically only NC for 2 months. Still thinking about her constantly. Still feel myself clinging to a microscopic remnant of hope that she might come back to me. Still poring over the details of her behavior for the last two months of our relationship. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Seeing my therapist every few weeks to help me with my “thought-stopping”. Snapping a rubberband on my wrist every time I find myself thinking of her. (you should see the welts!). Reading books about living in the present, and letting go of the past. Drinking way more than I should. Smoking way more weed than I should. Trying to force myself to be active instead of sitting at home and wallowing in a drunken stupor. Started a new band, got on a solid exercise regimen. Havent looked at her myspace or facebook for a couple months, and still holding strong. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? Ideally I would love to achieve complete acceptance of my situation and the fact that she won’t be coming back. But I guess id be satisfied just knowing that I am one week closer to feeling better.
onewillburn Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 -Doin' real good. -Nothing in particular to move forward, just living life normally and working hard at everything I enjoy doing. -Same place, or even closer to indifference than I already am.
Ilovecake Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? Done, I think. I saw him last Saturday night and it didn't even faze me that we were in thesame room. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Making a bunch of new friends, taking care of my health, learning new hobbies, enjoing my time to myself. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? Making out with a new cute guy.
floods88 Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? still thinking about him constantly, still in unimaginable amounts of pain and anxiety. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? plans with friends, trying to get a job to fill my holiday from uni, getting my hair done. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now i just want him back. so bad.
wondering_girl Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 hi ms.joolie, how are you? Do you remember me... hope things are going ok.. mine is eh..i really don't know how to define us, if you've read my posts he apologized wanted to start over after taking some time, but it still hurts - its like i'm hanging onto hope that i don't even know there's a guarantee, i'm trying to work on me but tears still come......... 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? i still think about him everyday and i miss him......... i miss our good times but when i look back on how everything played out, its F up. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? i really really really need to jumpstart my career and MOVE. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now hopefully get an interview for a job so i can jumpstart my career and maybe hear from him? ahh i don't know.
McGrupp Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? bad. getting better but bad still. i have to let go and also stop blaming myself. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? met a new girl. taking a class in december, hanging out with old friends, and being very very social. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now better
Ultiman Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 1)Where am I at now in this healing process? Alright. Pain and anxiety has reduced alot but im still thinking about her and missing her a whole lot 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Looking for jobs, exercising like crazy, cleaning out all the crap from my old terrible lifestyle 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now Meeting and hooking up with new girls. Hopefully sleeping better and no more dreams of her __________________
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? Wow, a week later... I have gotten better. Last week I was struggling still with false hopes, still addicted to the ex via the internet. NOW... I am on day six of not looking him up on the internet and I've let go of false hopes. Only thing now is a sort of wonder. I still wonder, without the hope, if he will contact me in December as he once said. It's a strange wonder, because I've accepted things, and the pain and attachment are gone. 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Stilll focusing on my goals. I am very happy right now, truly in a good place in my life. I'm looking forward to so much! I am grateful for everyday I have, and aim to make the most of it. So my romantic relationship that failed is something in the past now. I have moved on. ONLY THING IS.... that wonder about December. In a way, its paused my whole process. So I'll just have to see, I guess. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? I have 15 days until December, or two weeks.... I figure in December I'll come to a new place in this whole healing process, depending on whether he really comes back to me or not. But next week, I want to be stronger. I want more acceptance. I want more personal fulfillment. I want to be ready and strong enough for whatever happens.
teanoranges Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? Accepting the truth, letting go of my thoughts and not thinking about him in the same way as before (constantly and mostly focused on love and missing him) 2) What am I doing now to move forward with my life? Trying to get my feet on the ground and accomplish things in life. Got a job interview and figuring out how I can make new friends (all my friends are far away because they are college friends) that I can be around. Its hard to make close friends because you have to go through the process of knowing each other, etc. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? I'd like to not think about him for at least one day, or at least if I do, not in a 'aarrg' way. Indifference as you all said.
jv032889 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 1) Where am I at now in this healing process? I have no choice but to accept that my ex has officially moved on. 2) What am I doing now to move foward with my life? I now have my own apartment. Spring semester of college and I will push myself to accomplish more. I have new friends. 3) Where do I want to be in the healing process a week from now? unlikely but hopefully over her!!!!!!!
angelface78 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Where am i at now in the healing process?? It has now been 4 and a half months since the breakup. Im at almost 40 daysNC since i broke 3 months of NC. I am better than i was before. No morning anxiety attacks anymore. Sometimes i get sad but i dont really cry anymore. I cant say all the hope is gone but eveyrday im accepting the fact that he is with someone new more an more. I am trying to let go by not looking at his or her myspaces but there have been days i have failed miserably only to hurt myself. I am very angry at times...almost enraged!!! What am i doing now to move forward with my life?? I am trying to force myself out of this depression. I am no longer laying around in bed. I am trying to get out of the house and distract myself. Trying to take better care of myself. Going to bed earlier instead of analyzing over and over what happened in our relationship. Talking to friends, reconnecting with old ones. Trying to be positive about the future. Where do i want to be in the healing process a week from now?? I plan to have a better attitude. Try to let go of more hope. I want to get back into my workout routine and not look at their myspaces. Just focus on what i have and not what i dont. I plan to leave it in God's hands and just feel better than i have this week.
nobleguy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 1. I am also with false hope after she told me nearly two weeks ago that she was thinking about trying to make a go of it before a massive row disrupted the chance (once again). 2. I'm trying to look forward and plan some things to do that I can look forward to. Unfortunately they all fail to take my attention away from what has gone on before... I'm sick of feeling like this and would love to find a distraction that truly takes my mind off my troubles for a sustained period. Can't think of what that might be though... 3. I want to hear that my ex and the new boyfriend are finished. I have false hope in this respect too because I asked my daughter if she had met him yet and she hasn't. The reason K told me about him in the first place was because she wanted him to meet them. Or did she just tell me about him just to stick a knife in my throat - because she knew how much being with him would hurt me?
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