caramel c Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 I could not go to Kroger (supermarket) as that was the place where I would shop for her visits. Always called when she was on her way (she lived 4 hours away). Was always the running joke to "get out of the store NOW!" as I would buy enough to ensure survival were there a nuclear blast... Still have trouble listening to the radio as well... Sorry, did not mean to ninja the thread... OH, there is an entire LIST of places I still cannot walk into because it would be too painful, unfortunately these are some of the places that I really like, for example one of my favorite restaurants. We have kroger here too lol, but it was TJ Maxx where I couldn't hold back my tears. Oh man, well that was then and now I don't cry as much at all. I definitely don't have those sudden uncontrollable situations anymore.
sean1970 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 OH, there is an entire LIST of places I still cannot walk into because it would be too painful, unfortunately these are some of the places that I really like, for example one of my favorite restaurants. We have kroger here too lol, but it was TJ Maxx where I couldn't hold back my tears. Oh man, well that was then and now I don't cry as much at all. I definitely don't have those sudden uncontrollable situations anymore. Someone gave me some tough love the other day (an ex ex ... cringe... I was the one that broke up with her). "You want to know what they think about Sean. Nothing that involves you..." Ouch...
Author leap83 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 Forgive me but I cant read this passage and not see a contradiction. "He is not worth my time but he is worth my time" 1-5 are not good things but you have good memories? Why do you want to give him the time of day? 1-5 ARE good things for me. And my ego. Yes, I'm being selfish. I guess I've finally learned. He's NOT worth my time in terms of getting back together. We did have good memories (first 2 years were filled with them, the other 2 had lots of bad stuff though) - I'm not going to deny good stuff that happened. Why do I want to give him the time of the day? Well, let me see. Right now, I feel like a lady. I feel mature, confident, beautiful, smart and funny. Last time he saw me, I was on the verge of breaking point, I looked like total and utter ****. So, to fix that, I'm going to spend an hour of my time, across the table from him, let him look at me, take a GOOOOOOD look at me, and then walk away. He needs closure and I'm ready to give it to him. Maybe I'm just a nice person like that?! LOL
Author leap83 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 It's hard to see that you're better off or that things will get better when the break-up is so new. I know you are right. I will blossom. I will become a better person, because of what he does. But, it still hurts. He let me walk away (Even throwing my things on the front porch and changing the locks) without even looking at me or trying to make it work. Just called me a "fat cunt" and left...ummm, I'm an 8. I know I'm not fat. But, comments like that hurt, b/c I used to be overweight and he knew I was and am very insecure about my wieght. Sorry if I'm rambling...this break-up hurts like hell and he was so mean! Only losers pick on insecurities of a woman. So he's a loser. Just because he WAS mean, it shouldn't hurt that much. It should be easy for you to get angry at him and hate him. God, I wish my last break-up was like that. Trust me. It gets easier. It's time to start working on yourself and stop dwelling on him. The more time you spend thinking about him, the more you waste your time. And honestly, dwelling over it and thinking about him is a WASTE OF TIME! Why? Because he IS a waste of time. If he was worth it, I would understand. But he's not. So, start reading a book - any book. Good place to start.
sean1970 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Why do I want to give him the time of the day? Well, let me see. Right now, I feel like a lady. I feel mature, confident, beautiful, smart and funny. Last time he saw me, I was on the verge of breaking point, I looked like total and utter ****. So, to fix that, I'm going to spend an hour of my time, across the table from him, let him look at me, take a GOOOOOOD look at me, and then walk away. He needs closure and I'm ready to give it to him. Maybe I'm just a nice person like that?! LOL I did the same thing... Lost 22lbs, nice tan, new clothes, the whole deal... She was here on business, was all over me, and I lost count of the "cant believe how good you look" yada yada... She threw out more breadcrumbs than Hansel and Gretel but nothing came of it (might have been when I asked a few days later about working on the relationship). It was satisfying at the time but I was not ready and it showed in the end.
Author leap83 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 I did the same thing... Lost 22lbs, nice tan, new clothes, the whole deal... She was here on business, was all over me, and I lost count of the "cant believe how good you look" yada yada... She threw out more breadcrumbs than Hansel and Gretel but nothing came of it (might have been when I asked a few days later about working on the relationship). It was satisfying at the time but I was not ready and it showed in the end. Oh I'm sorry that it didn't work for you. How long were you 2 apart before you saw each other? Well, I've been out of this relationship for a year and 5 months so I'm totally over him. Nothing he says, does will hurt me or my feelings - that's because I don't care/don't want to be with him. I simply just don't care about him anymore. Were you hoping to get back with her when you met up with her?
sean1970 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 Oh I'm sorry that it didn't work for you. How long were you 2 apart before you saw each other? Well, I've been out of this relationship for a year and 5 months so I'm totally over him. Nothing he says, does will hurt me or my feelings - that's because I don't care/don't want to be with him. I simply just don't care about him anymore. Were you hoping to get back with her when you met up with her? Broke up in early July... LC to NC to a meeting where she blew me off to see another guy (that one still hurts).. Then that meeting here in late September. Yeah, I did have that hope... You would think at 38 I would know how this works and not bludgeon myself so... I saw her last Oct 11th, not good... She text a week later (lame, hurtful, selfish) but I did not respond... Still hard...
Author leap83 Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 Broke up in early July... LC to NC to a meeting where she blew me off to see another guy (that one still hurts).. Then that meeting here in late September. Yeah, I did have that hope... You would think at 38 I would know how this works and not bludgeon myself so... I saw her last Oct 11th, not good... She text a week later (lame, hurtful, selfish) but I did not respond... Still hard... As long as you keep hoping, it will be hard. There shouldn't be hope. She's in your past right now and she should be left there. Dwelling over it is not going to do you any good. The most important thing is to accept that it's done and probably the hardest. Then it becomes a bit easier, until you reach my stage and go "Why did I cry for months for this idiot?! :confused:" You realize that there is better out there once you let the past go. Really... there is.
sean1970 Posted November 11, 2009 Posted November 11, 2009 You realize that there is better out there once you let the past go. Really... there is. I know this is breakup 101 (take them off the pedestal) but what if you still think they were the best for you...?
Author leap83 Posted November 11, 2009 Author Posted November 11, 2009 I know this is breakup 101 (take them off the pedestal) but what if you still think they were the best for you...? Haha. I think you're asking the wrong person. Why do you think she was the best for you? I mean, if she was the best for you, then you would be together, no?
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