jaymack Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I'll try to give a little background without getting too long winded. I began my second marriage with a young lady I worked with. Finacially I began supporting her before we were married. After three years of marriage she informed me she was preagnant and we had a little girl (I'm now 57), we weren't planning on any more children. About the same time we had run up a ton of debt, most of it hers. My parenrts passed and I used the inheritance to pay off all the debt. Sometime around 2005 I started having chest pains and underwent tests and an eventually surgery to open up 2 blocked arteries. My wife had taken over all the finances at this point to free me from any worries. About a year later I started getting collection calls and asked her what was going on. She told me all my cards had been maxed (about $100,000) and we could no longer make payments. I went from perfect credit to no credit overnight. Sexually everything was great but here's my big mistake. She had a longtime boyfriend that she was seeing but not having sex with although they were involed because i could hear them making out. I encouraged her to just sleep with him so she would know what it was like. She finally did and after 8 other lovers she has fallen in love with someone she wants to be with. She told me she doesn't want to have sex with anyone but him anymore and that includes me. Recently she said some thiings are going to have to change but she needs time to think clearly so she can make the right decision. She's still seeing him and having sex with him. I feel she's already made up her mind and is wanting to ease her into a divorce. I'm retired and on a fixed income now while she is just started a teaching career. How important is it to be the first to file? Can I file on adultery even though I encouraged her from the beginning? On the info I've given could I be considered the victum and win custody of our little girl?
Author jaymack Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 I still love my wife and want our marraige to work if she can still love me. I'm guessing that she will go with the new fresh love she has with her bf but concerned that she may end up in the same situation in a couple of years that we are in now. I watched her go through her first divoce and it's almost identical to what's happening with us now. I would love to hear from a womens point of view, I think it's important to see it from another perspective.
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 dude you got played badly I would just sue her for a divorce before she sucks you dry outta all your money. You married a golddiger simple as that. You need to get her outta there! let the new boyfriend take care of her.
Aksion Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I read your first post three times and still can't understand it. Why did you encourage your W to sleep with another man? Why did you stay with her even though you knew she was intimate with someone else? WTF?!
JaneDoe35 Posted November 10, 2009 Posted November 10, 2009 I cannot comprehend that someone will treat another person so badly. It is truly discusting. You wanted a woman's perspective? Well I guess I can only say that I would NEVER, EVER have treated my husband that way. I would never treat any human that way. I am not sure what type of woman your wife is and I don't want to judge (as my husband is awful as of 2.5 months ago), but I think she has done way too much, you have bailed her out too many times. It appears she does not respect you at all and I tend to agree that she sounds like a golddigger. You deserve better than that. Not all women are golddiggers. I hope you can one day find a woman who is your equal.
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