tranceguy Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I dated this girl for 6 months and everything was fine. She fell in love with me fairly quickly. I kinda struggled to say it because I thought it was too early but caved in and did it anyway. After I told her this, she then tells me "oh by the way", after two weeks, "I have a daughter". I thought this was shady, she is also known for cheating on her ex husband and prior boyfriend, so I didn't really get too emotionally involved. I just had fun and good sex. Fast forward to 5 days ago, I decided my feelings of love were forced and not actually real. So I break up with her. Tonight I hear she is getting married in 3 weeks.....Normally in the past if this were to happen with a girl I truly cared about I would be devastated. However, my first thought that came to my mind was, "Someone elses problem". Is this cold hearted for me to think? Or the fact that it dosen't really bother me in the least? She also pushed marriage on me on a constant basis, putting a time limit on it. Saying I want this to go somewhere and I want to be married within a year, Im only 23 and have no inclination to get married. Anyway, does this make me cold hearted for not having a touch of sadness about this?
JaggedRoad Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 She's getting married to someone else in 3 weeks when you had just broken up with her. What's so cold hearted about not caring for someone like her?
carhill Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Anyway, does this make me cold hearted for not having a touch of sadness about this? Have you ever been emotionally involved with someone? Suffered the pain of loss, perhaps of a dear family member dying? If you know what that feels like, you are not cold-hearted; rather, you simply did not invest your emotions in this person to the extent that you feel loss when she is not a part of your life anymore. Even though I really don't 'miss' my stbx, I do reflect upon the wonderful moments we spent and the great decade we experienced, even with the challenges, and there is sadness of loss. That's because I invested myself in her and our life together. I think you're fine. You recognize your feelings. Your time will come, both for happiness and loss. It's part of being human.
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