My Spiritual Comfort Zone is not on par with my Friend of the same Faith: Problem?

[always_searching]

So, I was just walking past the chapel today when I saw a friend of mine heading in. When I stopped her to say "Hello," her face lit-up and she said, "I'm going to the Chapel to get prayed over--you should come too!" She then put her arm around me and started leading me in to the Chapel.

 

Now, I am Catholic, but uncomfortable with the more publicly charismatic part of the Church--it just doesn't seem authentic to me. I am not saying that the Spirit doesn't really move people, but I often feel that people are put on the spot when they're being prayed over, and that that feeling may result in those people putting on a show for the rest of the crowd--or, worse yet, that being in front of a crowd that expects some empirical result to manifest from the person being prayed over will make the experience even more inauthentic for the person in question.

 

Regardless of the authenticity of the results made manifest in being prayed over, I don't feel comfortable having it done. So, I didn't do it, which disappointed my friend--actually, she implyed that God was the one who was disappointed. I appreciate the Holy Spirit--I wouldn't have converted to Catholicism without his direct involvement in my life, but I am not going to put myself and His very personal and intimate working in my life on display. Maybe one day I'll feel called to do it, but that day is not today.

 

This same friend is trying to get me to do a Marian Consecration. I just converted! I am trying to focus on Christ, and she is trying to direct all of my attention to the Blessed Virgin. I love Mary, but I don't feel called to consecrate myself to her as of yet.

 

How I'm currently describing my friend is probably portraying her in an unfavorable light. Actually, she is one of the best people I've ever known--certainly the most devout and Holy. She is planning on being a nun, if that tells you anything.

 

My problem is more a question to the Catholics here on Loveshack, but since that's a rather limited pool of folks, anyone is welcome to respond: is the problem with me and my spirituality, or my friend and her trying to force her spirituality upon me? We're both Catholic, and we both love the Lord, but she is more Charismatic, Marian, and interested in social-spirituality, whereas I am more traditional, don't yet have the desire to consecrate myself to the Blessed Virgin, and am interested in private spiritual exercises. I don't feel as though I should have to flaunt my spirituality in public. Everyone who knows me knows I'm now a Christian, and I feel that how we live our lives is more telling of our spirituality than anything else.

 

I feel like if she's the perfect example of a Catholic--which I think she fancies herself as being, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with her: then I must be a total and utter failure as a Christian, and wonder if I should just forget about the religious aspect and focus on my own spirituality?

 

I honestly don't want stop going to Church and such, but if being prayed over and consecrating myself to Mary is required for me to be a "good Catholic," maybe I shouldn't be Catholic.

 

Man, do I need a spiritual director.

 

Sorry for the long post--thanks for reading!

Edited November 8, 2009 by always_searching

[mbeewood]

So, I was just walking past the chapel today when I saw a friend of mine heading in. When I stopped her to say "Hello," her face lit-up and she said, "I'm going to the Chapel to get prayed over--you should come too!" She then put her arm around me and started leading me in to the Chapel.

 

Now, I am Catholic, but uncomfortable with the more publicly charismatic part of the Church--it just doesn't seem authentic to me. I am not saying that the Spirit doesn't really move people, but I often feel that people are put on the spot when they're being prayed over, and that that feeling may result in those people putting on a show for the rest of the crowd--or, worse yet, that being in front of a crowd that expects some empirical result to manifest from the person being prayed over will make the experience even more inauthentic for the person in question.

 

Regardless of the authenticity of the results made manifest in being prayed over, I don't feel comfortable having it done. So, I didn't do it, which disappointed my friend--actually, she implyed that God was the one who was disappointed. I appreciate the Holy Spirit--I wouldn't have converted to Catholicism without his direct involvement in my life, but I am not going to put myself and His very personal and intimate working in my life on display. Maybe one day I'll feel called to do it, but that day is not today.

 

This same friend is trying to get me to do a Marian Consecration. I just converted! I am trying to focus on Christ, and she is trying to direct all of my attention to the Blessed Virgin. I love Mary, but I don't feel called to consecrate myself to her as of yet.

 

How I'm currently describing my friend is probably portraying her in an unfavorable light. Actually, she is one of the best people I've ever known--certainly the most devout and Holy. She is planning on being a nun, if that tells you anything.

 

My problem is more a question to the Catholics here on Loveshack, but since that's a rather limited pool of folks, anyone is welcome to respond: is the problem with me and my spirituality, or my friend and her trying to force her spirituality upon me? We're both Catholic, and we both love the Lord, but she is more Charismatic, Marian, and interested in social-spirituality, whereas I am more traditional, don't yet have the desire to consecrate myself to the Blessed Virgin, and am interested in private spiritual exercises. I don't feel as though I should have to flaunt my spirituality in public. Everyone who knows me knows I'm now a Christian, and I feel that how we live our lives is more telling of our spirituality than anything else.

 

I feel like if she's the perfect example of a Catholic--which I think she fancies herself as being, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with her: then I must be a total and utter failure as a Christian, and wonder if I should just forget about the religious aspect and focus on my own spirituality?

 

I honestly don't want stop going to Church and such, but if being prayed over and consecrating myself to Mary is required for me to be a "good Catholic," maybe I shouldn't be Catholic.

 

Man, do I need a spiritual director.

 

Sorry for the long post--thanks for reading!

 

I don't think the "Marian Consecration" is necessary for being a catholic.

[always_searching]

I don't think the "Marian Consecration" is necessary for being a catholic.

 

I know it isn't. But this particular friend seems to indicate that it is necessary for being a good Catholic. The question is more of an issue of what designates good spirituality from a Catholic perspective.

[stepka]

I'm with you, always searching. I tend to trust the spiritual beliefs of those who are still trying to figure it all out, rather than those who accept it all w/o question. Your friend obviously has never questioned any of it, or she would be more understanding of where you're at. I had a friend much like that too--I think she thought that I was less of a Christian b/c I had so many questions and b/c I didn't completely buy into everything. But, I noticed that when someone got sick or had a tragedy other than a death in the family, she was always too busy to bother with them, and she was strangely silent when my husband left me. I'm not saying your friend is like that, just that people have different ways of showing their faith. Also, those who have grown up in the faith don't often understand the concerns of new Christians.

 

If you need to defend yourself over this, consider the verses from Matthew 6:

5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

[Toki]

Bah, just because Pope John Paul II was "Pro Marian Consecration" doesn't mean you're a better Catholic because you've taken step with him. It's been an idea tossed around the Vatican for ages, but very few Popes deemed it at all necessary, much fewer actually practiced it, well for all sakes and purposes you can say Jon Paul II has pretty much been the only one. I don't think Benedict has said anything in regards to Marian Consecration, or very little.

 

Seems like she's being unnecessarily schismatic for an issue that the Church hasn't even taken a firm stand on.

Edited November 9, 2009 by Toki

[NoIDidn't]

I am not Catholic, so I can't help you there. But I can relate to feeling that your spirituality is not as deep as another's.

 

First, let me say flibber-flabber on that kind of thinking. Its obvious from reading your post that you are on the journey and finding meaning in that alone. Don't compare your lack of zeal for the things that she is interested in - and seeking validation in getting you to do them too - and find yourself somehow lacking.

 

It seems that you somehow envy her for her stance, and don't find any value in where you are? Remember, we must all crawl before we walk/run. The pace at which you are going as a new convert is just fine. Never allow anyone to push you further than you can reasonably handle. I've seen that result in much heartache and in people leaving their faith (whatever it was) forever because of it.

 

Find joy where you are. Allow her to go on her journey without questioning your own. Ask her about it, encourage her on it. But don't feel that it is necessary to join her - unless absolutely called to it.

[quankanne]

BINGO!

 

NID hit on it squarely: The faith journey is YOURS alone, and while she has the best intentions of helping guide you in what she believes is the best route to a relationship with God, it all boils down to what YOU feel comfortable with.

 

I admire those folks who can get up there and talk about their faith – Charismatics, Cursillistas – because I know it's part of their mission of evangelization. But I'm also your flavor of Catholic ... quiet and sure, not out there struttin' my stuff! People know that I am solid in my belief, and that's the main thing, you know?

 

so the next time she suggests you do something, thank her and leave it at that. Should she badger you by implying that "God is disappointed," kindly remind her that your relationship with the Big Guy is simply that: Yours. And He respects that, therefore, so should she.

 

don't let anyone make you feel like you're lesser for not worshiping in the same manner as them. Someday, maybe you'll be comfortable with the Charismatic movement, or with the idea of Marian consecration, but for now, you need to focus on this part of your journey.

[Love Hurts]

Perhaps your friend knows of your hideous picture on L.S. and simply assumes you need Jesus for real?

[Ronni_W]

I feel like if she's the perfect example of a Catholic--which I think she fancies herself as being, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with her: then I must be a total and utter failure as a Christian, and wonder if I should just forget about the religious aspect and focus on my own spirituality?

Please ignore whatever doesn't resonate with you.

 

Perhaps you're grappling with that 'bigger picture' question, and your friend's attitude, actions and words are merely triggering your own self-doubts and self-judgments?

 

You say that you've just converted and want to focus on Christ -- you could simply remind your friend of that, and ask her to support where you are now. Quite honestly, if she is fancying herself as a "perfect example of a Catholic"...then she's probably not. (I'm not even sure if the Pope fancies himself that way.)

 

In any case, if you feel inspired to continue to go to Church, wouldn't that be your own sign that you're on YOUR appropriate path for this time in your life? Perhaps in a month or a decade you will be inspired towards a different way of attending to your spiritual development and expressing your spirituality -- and that will ALSO be perfectly fine for you, when or if.

 

But right now, you are here. No need to compare your Way to your friend's...or the Pope's, for that matter. The three of you have similar goals and are all headed in the same direction. Within context, HOW you get there is certainly part of the individual journey; the Soul's unique expression. Isn't it?

[pureinheart]

Perhaps your friend knows of your hideous picture on L.S. and simply assumes you need Jesus for real?

 

((((((((((((((((((Love Hurts))))))))))))))))))))) I missed you soooooo much!!!!!!

[pureinheart]

So, I was just walking past the chapel today when I saw a friend of mine heading in. When I stopped her to say "Hello," her face lit-up and she said, "I'm going to the Chapel to get prayed over--you should come too!" She then put her arm around me and started leading me in to the Chapel.

 

Now, I am Catholic, but uncomfortable with the more publicly charismatic part of the Church--it just doesn't seem authentic to me. I am not saying that the Spirit doesn't really move people, but I often feel that people are put on the spot when they're being prayed over, and that that feeling may result in those people putting on a show for the rest of the crowd--or, worse yet, that being in front of a crowd that expects some empirical result to manifest from the person being prayed over will make the experience even more inauthentic for the person in question.

 

Regardless of the authenticity of the results made manifest in being prayed over, I don't feel comfortable having it done. So, I didn't do it, which disappointed my friend--actually, she implyed that God was the one who was disappointed. I appreciate the Holy Spirit--I wouldn't have converted to Catholicism without his direct involvement in my life, but I am not going to put myself and His very personal and intimate working in my life on display. Maybe one day I'll feel called to do it, but that day is not today.

 

This same friend is trying to get me to do a Marian Consecration. I just converted! I am trying to focus on Christ, and she is trying to direct all of my attention to the Blessed Virgin. I love Mary, but I don't feel called to consecrate myself to her as of yet.

 

How I'm currently describing my friend is probably portraying her in an unfavorable light. Actually, she is one of the best people I've ever known--certainly the most devout and Holy. She is planning on being a nun, if that tells you anything.

 

My problem is more a question to the Catholics here on Loveshack, but since that's a rather limited pool of folks, anyone is welcome to respond: is the problem with me and my spirituality, or my friend and her trying to force her spirituality upon me? We're both Catholic, and we both love the Lord, but she is more Charismatic, Marian, and interested in social-spirituality, whereas I am more traditional, don't yet have the desire to consecrate myself to the Blessed Virgin, and am interested in private spiritual exercises. I don't feel as though I should have to flaunt my spirituality in public. Everyone who knows me knows I'm now a Christian, and I feel that how we live our lives is more telling of our spirituality than anything else.

 

I feel like if she's the perfect example of a Catholic--which I think she fancies herself as being, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree with her: then I must be a total and utter failure as a Christian, and wonder if I should just forget about the religious aspect and focus on my own spirituality?

 

I honestly don't want stop going to Church and such, but if being prayed over and consecrating myself to Mary is required for me to be a "good Catholic," maybe I shouldn't be Catholic.

 

Man, do I need a spiritual director.

 

Sorry for the long post--thanks for reading!

 

I was raised Catholic and enjoyed it and was blessed by it, of course the more traditional Catholisim....Now I am "me".

 

Okay, not everyone has the same giftings, we are all different....personally I operate in the gifts heavily because that is what God has chosen for me...you be you....what GOD has made you, not man.

 

I hope I can explain this properly...God judges the heart, many do not understand how this actually works, in fact it is not "works" based at all....it is your heart.....Love the Lord your God with all of heart and mind.

 

If you can, forget the rituals and just focus your attention on Jesus, ask Him to lead you and guide you....if you don't mind I am led to speak this scripture over you....Casting down all vain imaginations and every high thing that exhalts itself above the knowledge of God and pulling into captivity every thought unto the obedience of Christ.

 

Suggestion: Get a Bible if you don't have one and read the word over your mind.....GBU!!!~!!