Buzz89 Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 (edited) Went out on third date with a woman that I'm getting to know. Both in mid 30's. Met through friend and common background so we have a lot in common from the start. We've had a lot of fun with each other on each date although no physical contact except for hugs. I was sensing that she wanted to take it slow (always engaged but no attempt at touching, she's a little shy). Last night we went out and late in the evening I mentioned to her that I was enjoying getting to know her and that I know it takes time to get to know someone. She agreed and said that it's important to take it slow. (she may have been hurt before, I'm not sure). I then said that I just wanted to let her know because I liked her and was attracted to her. She responded that she had fun on the last date and that she found me easy to talk to. But she said that I've met her when she has a lot going on in her life. We then talked about other stuff and just kind of moved on. I felt awkward for the rest of the time we spent together. When I asked about next weekend she was neutral. Didn't shoot me down but also didn't know how her plans looked yet and said that she would let me know (she's been very honest with me so I don't doubt her). I'm happy with taking it slow but I'm worried that I threw some awkwardness into the mix when we've really had fun up to this point and are getting to know each other. We seemed to be building some momentum and then poof, let the air out of the bag so to speak. Has anyone else been in this situation and if so, how did you continue. Ladies, how do you feel when a guy speaks too soon like this? I know I should relax and not pressure but I want to apologize for making it awkward all of the sudden. Any advice? Edited November 8, 2009 by Buzz89
Thornton Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 It's not like you declared your undying love or anything! You told her you found her attractive, which seems reasonable enough, and she backed right off. Perhaps she doesn't feel the same, or perhaps she's very nervous about relationships... either way all you can do is tone it right down and don't mention it again (apologising will just make her feel uncomfortable all over again). Having said that, a 30-something woman who can't deal with a guy who she's dating telling her that she's attractive, obviously has some sort of problem.
dave22 Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I don't think you did anything wrong at all. Perhaps she really does want to take it slow or maybe she just isn't that interested in you and is using the "I have a lot of things going on" line as an excuse. Really only time will tell. I once dated a woman with whom I had a difficult time figuring out if she was interested or not at first. I would say something about another date and she would just shrug and not say anything. She always would go on another date, though. Turns out she was probably just being a little cautious.
boogieboy Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 She either want really into you, or she was still not over her ex and couldnt really emotionally connect with you yet. Either way, the timing is all wrong and you could pursue it of you have lots of patience, but it doesnt look good. I would drop it and move on, I dont have the patience for someone who is using me for whatever reason and isnt really into me.
aerogurl87 Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Went out on third date with a woman that I'm getting to know. Both in mid 30's. Met through friend and common background so we have a lot in common from the start. We've had a lot of fun with each other on each date although no physical contact except for hugs. I was sensing that she wanted to take it slow (always engaged but no attempt at touching, she's a little shy). Last night we went out and late in the evening I mentioned to her that I was enjoying getting to know her and that I know it takes time to get to know someone. She agreed and said that it's important to take it slow. (she may have been hurt before, I'm not sure). I then said that I just wanted to let her know because I liked her and was attracted to her. She responded that she had fun on the last date and that she found me easy to talk to. But she said that I've met her when she has a lot going on in her life. We then talked about other stuff and just kind of moved on. I felt awkward for the rest of the time we spent together. When I asked about next weekend she was neutral. Didn't shoot me down but also didn't know how her plans looked yet and said that she would let me know (she's been very honest with me so I don't doubt her). I'm happy with taking it slow but I'm worried that I threw some awkwardness into the mix when we've really had fun up to this point and are getting to know each other. We seemed to be building some momentum and then poof, let the air out of the bag so to speak. Has anyone else been in this situation and if so, how did you continue. Ladies, how do you feel when a guy speaks too soon like this? I know I should relax and not pressure but I want to apologize for making it awkward all of the sudden. Any advice? I love it. I rather a guy be honest with me about how he feels than keep it locked up inside of him.
looking4 green grass Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I would much rather a guy TELL me how he feels than leave me guessing all the time (which seems to be where I am at the moment....again....ugh....dating blows) I don't think you have anything to worry about by what you said. More than likely you were the only one who felt awkward if the rest of the evening went smoothly. If it makes you feel better, I totally stuck my foot in my mouth in the same way this weekend. My current strategy is to drop it, pretend I never said it, and keep going. The guy didn't run away.....yet. lol. In all my drunken idiocy I sent some lame text like "I don't want to be a "friend" anymore" or something else equally as horrid. All he did was point out (via text) that I was the one always introducing myself as his friend. So basically I'm just going to stop doing that and not drink and text anymore!
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