now_what Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Maybe this belongs in dating, but I think it is still coping, testing unchartered territories. Just a brief background: my ex left me last September for a woman he had known for two months after 30 years of marriage and we have been divorced for 7 months (he has already remarried). Anyhow, I actually went on a date today, someone I had been emailing on eharmony for about a month. It was kind of scary - but kind of nice and very liberating. Someone actually wanted to see me, talk to me, and get to know me a little bit and he wants to see me again. I had been with my ex since I was 16, so needless to say I have not dated in YEARS and then it was just him. This man was very attentive to me which boosted my ego quite a bit. He was willing to try new things - we went to an International festival on my suggestion and had a great time. This restored a bit of my confidence which had been pretty much squashed by my husband leaving me for an old biker chick, because his "feelings for me had changed". I kept thinking "what's wrong with me", but through much thought and deliberation have come to the conclusion, "nothing's wrong with me", the problem was his.
mickleb Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Are you reading this HeavenOrHell???!!! AWESOME way to go, now what. SO happy for you. Take out of life what you know you deserve. Best of luck with this guy. So lovely when people post their happy stories. :) :)
hopesndreams Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 YAY! A whole new world is yours to explore! Good job now_what. You made it! Very happy for ya, you've been through hell so now let the good times roll.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Good for you, that's wonderful I think partly what makes it hard for me to move on is that I was never cheated on, it would be a little easier to think well sod you then, but he's so lovely. NOT that I wanted to be cheated on, that would be one of my greatest fears, what I'm saying is maybe it makes the anger stronger, which in turn means you feel you are better off without them and can put two fingers up to them.
mickleb Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Abandoment ain't pretty, HOH. Think about the promises he made in marriage to you. Broken? I'm not telling you to hate him but I'm asking you to look at the situation rationally. He is only one man. That's all. Take him off the pedestal. He hurt you. This is a fantastic thread that SHOULD give everyone here the proof they need to, at least, believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just so chuffed for you, now_what. Let us know what happens next. x
HeavenOrHell Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 We weren't married, we didn't believe in it for us, we never made vows as such, I don't believe anyone can vow to stay with someone forever. I know what you're saying..he's not perfect, and I am angry with him. Sorry for hijacking thread now_what! Abandoment ain't pretty, HOH. Think about the promises he made in marriage to you. Broken? I'm not telling you to hate him but I'm asking you to look at the situation rationally. He is only one man. That's all. Take him off the pedestal. He hurt you. This is a fantastic thread that SHOULD give everyone here the proof they need to, at least, believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just so chuffed for you, now_what. Let us know what happens next. x
mickleb Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 My apologies, HOH. I did type that without checking that fact. Forgive me. x
GrayClouds Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 (edited) So lovely when people post their happy stories. :) :) I must disagree. Happiness is so much harder to make my pithy witty comments. Give me the debilitative toils and tribulations from life's underbelly. Be it a somewhat reluctant, none the less but sincere; Congrats! Edited November 8, 2009 by GrayClouds
AliveAndKicking Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Bravo! Woo hoo for you! Firstdate and another one in the future.. Wow! that;'s a BIG step! Easy does it, tread carefully keeping expectations low, but by all means enjoy yourself! Great job! _______________ Gray Clouds: Pithy is as pithy does ;-) I have no idea what that has to do with ANYTHING but it sounded.... Well it sounded pithy so I posted it! Be well ALL!
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