Els Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Seriously. It's like I can't f'ing take a joke from my bf, nowadays. It's not that my sense of humour has evaporated - I'm fine with friends and such. But with the bf, for some reason my mind goes into overdrive when he pokes fun at me. I am not usually that kind of girl. He knows his limits full well, and he's been poking fun at the same stuff for ages already. It used to be playful banter - he poke at me about something, I poke back at him about something else. I used to enjoy it. I do not like what I've become. It's like, hearing and reading about other insecure girls has made me insecure. Today he poked fun at something that he always did in the past, and a long spiel goes through my mind about (I know, it's silly) how he might possibly think worse of me because of this 'something', even though he's always said he didn't mind. And it wasn't even a sensitive spot for me to begin with. He has done nothing to provoke this change - except one. Along the course of our relationship, there were certain incidents in which I thought he was just joking around as usual, and it turns out he actually meant it. So now I'm second-guessing all his jokes, I suppose. Not sure how to deal with this. I do not want to be the sort of girl who can't take a joke and always turns everything into a sensitive and offensive matter with her bf. I never was. Frankly, I don't quite know what happened. Maybe taking a break from reading such threads in these boards might help. :/
A O Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Not sure how to deal with this. You deal with it by telling him exactly how you feel. Talk about it, see if you find a root cause (if there is one) or otherwise work on a solution that best serves you both. .
Boundary Problem Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 But with the bf, for some reason my mind goes into overdrive when he pokes fun at me.It used to be playful banter - he poke at me about something, I poke back at him about something else. I used to enjoy it. He has done nothing to provoke this change - except one. Along the course of our relationship, there were certain incidents in which I thought he was just joking around as usual, and it turns out he actually meant it. :/ Humour can be a form of passive aggression. They say something mean, with a smile on their face - but it was still hurtful. Just ask him to stop with the jokes for a while and see if he re-directs latent aggression into another activity that you do together. If it is all quiet for a month, then you were just being too sensitive. That is what I would try.
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