gypsy_nicky Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I'm curious on how you go about doing this. Sorry couldn't find a thread. What if someone you recently had a split with can, by no chance be totally erased from your life? What if it was an ex spouse where you shared custody with kids, or how about a co-worker where the relationship turned sour etc etc? Anyone likely to be in close proximity most times because of necessity relating to external circumstance. Anyone care to give experience/advice? Caliguy, carhill?
twinklecat Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I'm currently going through something like this now. Living under the same roof and working with my ex as of 2 weeks ago after 5 years together. I've tried blanking him at work, ignoring him in the house, and it just makes for a terrible atmosphere. I've also tried just chatting about idle chit chat and it's just weird. Next thing I am trying is to try and stay in my room as much as possible, or be out the house. The work thing isn't too bad, I can go all day without seeing him, but if do see him, just going to be courteous, just like I would with anyone else I bump into. So not really sure if this is advice as such, but just sharing my experience.
WTRanger Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Just keep it civil. Swallow your pride and do it because you have to do it for kids, jobs, etc. My parents set the ultimate example. When I was really young they divorced, yet at every school function, sports event, etc they were there together for me or my brother. Sure, they probably hated each other but it wasn't about them. It was about my brother and I. They put the petty differences aside for something much bigger. So just remind yourself that it is not about you or them, it is about something much bigger. The two of you can hate each other all you want in private, but keep it out of the public eye.
Odyssey Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Ex-gf and i sat opposite each other, in the office everyday and it was just a dreadful experience. Her approach was avoidance, where she would go out of her way to totally ignore me and won't even say hello. My way was denial (fake it to make it kinda thing) by putting up a front to everyone that nothing was wrong. It became apparent, after a few days that this made things worst, because the office atmosphere got awkward. People didn't know what to say around us, let alone pick sides. In the end, i confronted her and we both agreed to be as professional as possible because it was beginning to affect other people. We said our hello etc. but kept conversations strictly work related and to a minimum. We acted like business associates. It made things a tad smoother because we knew the boundaries, but it still sucked. In a strange way, I'm kinda glad it only lasted a month because i was laid off on the same day as the breakup. Lesson learned: never get in a relationship with a co-worker that you'll see everyday. My advise: If you two can't be mature and professional, talk it through and lay down some simple ground rules. Otherwise, one of you will misinterpret something said or done and get more confused...and even angry (as if the breakup wasn't bad enough); trust me, your emotions will be all over the place.
CaliGuy Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 I'm curious on how you go about doing this. Sorry couldn't find a thread. What if someone you recently had a split with can, by no chance be totally erased from your life? What if it was an ex spouse where you shared custody with kids, or how about a co-worker where the relationship turned sour etc etc? Anyone likely to be in close proximity most times because of necessity relating to external circumstance. Anyone care to give experience/advice? Caliguy, carhill? Well I work with an ex, and all that I do is mind my own business. I don't talk to her or seek her out and thankfully she has stopped walking unnecessarily by my desk. I have reserved myself to knowing that there is someone better out there. If you have kids together, I say be as cordial as possible but don't ask them any personal questions. Just think of it like a business transaction and do your best to leave out anything PERSONAL.
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