JoJola Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Why are so many men intimidated by a successful and pretty woman? Whats up with this guys?
DanielMadr Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Why are so many men intimidated by a successful and pretty woman? Whats up with this guys? Being successful in carreer means a woman has to show a lot of male chracteristics. Its like dating a man then:sick: And even worse....I hate guys who are arrogant just because they made some good deals last week.
A O Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Few men will feel intimidated if the woman is treating him with respect. When it still happens despite this, then it probably boils down to him having a strong belief that the man should be the primary provider and thus, he feels like he's failed in some way when this doesn't occur. Centuries of tradition is hard to break for many, but we'll get there. .
DanielMadr Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Few men will feel intimidated if the woman is treating him with respect. When it still happens despite this, then it probably boils down to him having a strong belief that the man should be the primary provider and thus, he feels like he's failed in some way when this doesn't occur. Centuries of tradition is hard to break for many, but we'll get there. . Noooooo. I dont want to date men with boobs. Noooooo. Personally I would be happy for a girl whou would make more money than me. I could stay home and
DanielMadr Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I could stay home and take care of children....they are fun. But Im telling you....I never met a "successful" carrieer woman who would be OK with a guy who is less successful and most of the time they cant shed the "Im the boss here" act in private.....so repulsing. I want feminine woman.
A O Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Noooooo. I dont want to date men with boobs. Noooooo. Personally I would be happy for a girl whou would make more money than me. I could stay home and You make some valid points, but not all successful women are like that. The odds are on your side though I feel. .
Author JoJola Posted November 7, 2009 Author Posted November 7, 2009 I am a successful woman; i mean woman....all woman! I am not a man in a womens body guys Now, when I am not at work I prefer a man to take charge..I am not out for money and dont care how much a man makes...our careers do not define ourselves....I jst want a man to like me for who I am, which I find that they all find me intimidating....so I guess its a no win on my part! Or maybe jst have not found the right man to believe that I am honest, faithful, and not controlling or demeaning at all.
Johnny M Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 most of the time they cant shed the "Im the boss here" act in private.....so repulsing. I want feminine woman. This pretty much nails it. Many so-called "successful women" are bossy, arrogant b*tches. A generalization, I know, and I'm sure there are successful women who do not fit into this mold. Nonetheless, it seems to be true of many career women. The part about such women displaying a lot of men-like qualities is also very true (you can't succeed in the business world without having such qualities).
pricillia Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Why are so many men intimidated by a successful and pretty woman? Whats up with this guys? Are you having trouble with all men or just someone that you are intersted in? I believe that women can be a success without bein intimidating, they can still be feminine at the same time. Wouldn't a man want a woman who can take care of herself and does not want a relationship for all the wrong reasons.
Author JoJola Posted November 7, 2009 Author Posted November 7, 2009 Well, I have had past boyfriends (one of three yrs) say that I dont make a man secure by how indepentent I am...well I believe that just cause I went to college and got my degrees, hold down a good job and maintain a house should not be held against me...I am not bossy or arogant as I can see it. I also have many domestic qualities, love to cook, sew, take wonderful care of my two duaghters and actually go out of my way to help others...especially a man I am interested in. I do my own lawnwork etc....that to me is not intimidating or is it?
pricillia Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Well, I have had past boyfriends (one of three yrs) say that I dont make a man secure by how indepentent I am...well I believe that just cause I went to college and got my degrees, hold down a good job and maintain a house should not be held against me...I am not bossy or arogant as I can see it. I also have many domestic qualities, love to cook, sew, take wonderful care of my two duaghters and actually go out of my way to help others...especially a man I am interested in. I do my own lawnwork etc....that to me is not intimidating or is it? That is not your issue but his... I guess it is just letting him know that you need him sometimes... ask him for help with the yardwork ect...it does not all have to be about money, people like to feel needed, in a positive way
crazy_grl Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Why are so many men intimidated by a successful and pretty woman? I haven't met many who are. This pretty much nails it. Many so-called "successful women" are bossy, arrogant b*tches. A generalization, I know, and I'm sure there are successful women who do not fit into this mold. Nonetheless, it seems to be true of many career women. The part about such women displaying a lot of men-like qualities is also very true (you can't succeed in the business world without having such qualities). That's completely untrue. I know many people think it is, because I've had interviews with people who have mistaken my unwillingness to be bossy and macho as not being confident. But there are people who don't have that opinion. If you're good at your job, you can succeed without being an *sshole or a b*tch. Well, I have had past boyfriends (one of three yrs) say that I dont make a man secure by how indepentent I am...well I believe that just cause I went to college and got my degrees, hold down a good job and maintain a house should not be held against me...I am not bossy or arogant as I can see it. I also have many domestic qualities, love to cook, sew, take wonderful care of my two duaghters and actually go out of my way to help others...especially a man I am interested in. I do my own lawnwork etc....that to me is not intimidating or is it? You're either dating really insecure guys or you're doing things you're not aware of to make men feel emasculated. I've got a degree, have a well paying job (in a male-dominated field), am buying my own house, sometimes fix things on my own car, etc.. None of the guys I've dated have ever been intimidated by that. They're usually impressed. I think a lot of women turn men off, because they think they have something to PROVE to men about how independent they are.
A O Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 That's completely untrue. I know many people think it is, because I've had interviews with people who have mistaken my unwillingness to be bossy and macho as not being confident. But there are people who don't have that opinion. If you're good at your job, you can succeed without being an *sshole or a b*tch. No, its not completely untrue, far from it. But there are more women like you than people seem to realize. You're either dating really insecure guys or you're doing things you're not aware of to make men feel emasculated.Agree - totally. I think a lot of women turn men off, because they think they have something to PROVE to men about how independent they are.Totally agree again. .
crazy_grl Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 No, its not completely untrue, far from it. But there are more women like you than people seem to realize. Sorry to be confusing. I was referring to the part I bolded. I know there are women who act like that. I meant it's untrue that you have to in order to succeed.
Johnny M Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 That's completely untrue. I know many people think it is, because I've had interviews with people who have mistaken my unwillingness to be bossy and macho as not being confident. But there are people who don't have that opinion. If you're good at your job, you can succeed without being an *sshole or a b*tch. It depends on the job. What do you do?
Sam Spade Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Being successful in carreer means a woman has to show a lot of male chracteristics. Its like dating a man then:sick: And even worse....I hate guys who are arrogant just because they made some good deals last week. +1. I'm not intimidated by "succesfull" women, just don't want to be in relationship them (or the hardcore specimens). I'm sure there are exceptions, but overall, my impressions of career women in real life wall into 3 categories: 1) expecting to be congratulated for finally going to work; 2) genuinely more interested in her hareer than in relatinoships; 3) attaining a reaonable degree of success, but resentful of all the sacrifices she had to make and of the ongoing performance expectations either way, it's not a good deal. I prefer a simple girl that as a matter of factly simply goes to work, does her job, and then comes back home to her night job as a sweet girlfriend
DanielMadr Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 (edited) That's completely untrue. I know many people think it is, because I've had interviews with people who have mistaken my unwillingness to be bossy and macho as not being confident. But there are people who don't have that opinion. If you're good at your job, you can succeed without being an *sshole or a b*tch. Most carreer women and men are just not very good at leading people. And they adopt the shortcut techniques....arrogance, being bossy, contempt for others etc. You cant learn to be a leader in some seminar. So basically there are a few good bosses and even less female ones. My personal experience is that average female boss is better than average male boss. But it is mainly because I dont need them to manage my work. And when problems come bad male bosses tend to shout and bad female bosses tend to cry. And both of them try to avoid responsibility. And of course I prefer female bosses because I am a tall (my guess) man and therofe some male bosses take it really bad. And I can convince females quite easily. Males tend to be suspicious or want to show me its gonna be their way not the way I suggested. I dont use female bosses for personal benefits but I guess it could be dangerous as Ive seen female bosses being manipulated for ulterior motives. Even when you are not a**hole you have to be strict, take no prisoners etc. in order to be sucessful - depending how much cut throat your business is. And this attitude can show in private. The difference for men is that we dont have to change that much when we leave office or army barracks and go on date. But feminine behaviour is totaly different. So it shows more. Edited November 8, 2009 by DanielMadr
sedgwick Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Guys, are all of you writing this into the future from the '50s? Any woman who has a career might as well be a man? It sounds like something my grandfather would say! I have a career, I'm a writer. I love what I do. I went to school to do it, I've worked hard, and I think it makes me an interesting person. I don't think it makes me contemptuous of others, or arrogant, or bossy. My best female friend makes a living as a musician -- does her career make her a "man with boobs?" She's one of the kindest, most compassionate human beings I've ever met. Are you really saying that any woman who educates herself and pursues her own dreams is emasculating to you!??
Thornton Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I am firmly convinced that one of my exes dumped me because he thought I was young and would be impressed by him - and he seemed rather put out when he found out that I was his age and more successful than he was. He always said he felt outwitted in conversation with me, and I don't think he liked that because he thought of himself as being extremely intelligent. He wanted me to look up at him and be in awe, and I wasn't - I got the sense that he really wanted to be worshipped by a woman, not be her equal. Maybe he didn't feels ecure enough in himself to be able to handle an equal? He really needed the validation of being worshipped. So I guess the guys who are intimidated by a smart, successful women are those guys who want to be worshipped rather than being equals, or those guys who feel emasculated if a woman is more successful than they are. It works both ways, because if a guy isn't at least my equal I see him as not very manly and therefore unattractive.
DanielMadr Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 Guys, are all of you writing this into the future from the '50s? Any woman who has a career might as well be a man? It sounds like something my grandfather would say! I have a career, I'm a writer. I love what I do. I went to school to do it, I've worked hard, and I think it makes me an interesting person. I don't think it makes me contemptuous of others, or arrogant, or bossy. My best female friend makes a living as a musician -- does her career make her a "man with boobs?" She's one of the kindest, most compassionate human beings I've ever met. Are you really saying that any woman who educates herself and pursues her own dreams is emasculating to you!?? First they are not emasculating they are just not attractive. Second we are speaking about career in jobs other than creative or scientific - you dont need manly traits there to succeed.
DanielMadr Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I am firmly convinced that one of my exes dumped me because he thought I was young and would be impressed by him - and he seemed rather put out when he found out that I was his age and more successful than he was. He always said he felt outwitted in conversation with me, and I don't think he liked that because he thought of himself as being extremely intelligent. He wanted me to look up at him and be in awe, and I wasn't - I got the sense that he really wanted to be worshipped by a woman, not be her equal. Maybe he didn't feels ecure enough in himself to be able to handle an equal? He really needed the validation of being worshipped. So I guess the guys who are intimidated by a smart, successful women are those guys who want to be worshipped rather than being equals, or those guys who feel emasculated if a woman is more successful than they are. It works both ways, because if a guy isn't at least my equal I see him as not very manly and therefore unattractive. I hate to remind you that you live in a real world where equality is just an idealistic idea. Therefore you can never find your equal. And because guys dont mind if woman is less smarter it is safer to pick less smarter girl. Because if he picked so so equal girl there would be a bigger chance he might slip from the equlibrium and the girl would stop love him (if a guy isn't at least my equal I see him as not very manly and therefore unattractive) You see. You got fooled by a commie word: Equality. Realitz check. No ones equal. "He wanted me to look up at him and be in awe, and I wasn't "- Do you blame him? after you wrote...."isn't at least my equal" ....
Isolde Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 It's not some binary decision between "equality" and "hero worship." I think a couple can be equal in some ways and traditional, in others.
Sam Spade Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I hate to remind you that you live in a real world where equality is just an idealistic idea. Therefore you can never find your equal. And because guys dont mind if woman is less smarter it is safer to pick less smarter girl. Because if he picked so so equal girl there would be a bigger chance he might slip from the equlibrium and the girl would stop love him (if a guy isn't at least my equal I see him as not very manly and therefore unattractive) You see. You got fooled by a commie word: Equality. Realitz check. No ones equal. "He wanted me to look up at him and be in awe, and I wasn't "- Do you blame him? after you wrote...."isn't at least my equal" .... I can't think if a better way to express the issue. Beyong being able to make some sort of her own money, intellect and career success of a woman bring nothng in the relationship except complications . There is absolutely nothing wrong with being intelligent and succesful - it's just that these are qualities that come with a cost that is not worth it from the standpoint of a secure, happy and comfortable relationship calculus. Yes, I want my woman to look up to me. Whom am I more likely to want to make happy? A cute sweetie with an explicit appreciation for traditional relationship roles, or a career-driven woman who is always late at night, and once she comes home is so tired and frustrated from the latest snafu at the office that the last thing on her mind is taking a walk in the hood ?
Sam Spade Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 It's not some binary decision between "equality" and "hero worship." I think a couple can be equal in some ways and traditional, in others. This is ideal. Tautologically, it begins an issue when one of the extremes is being approached. (I wouldn't want an actual stepford wife either...)
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