Exit Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I've come to accept a lot of the bad things about her. No longer blaming myself 100%, I've realized all the things I deserve to blame on her. Slowwwly getting over her, not desperate to have her back, but there are still certain things that I wish I could share with her. We got a cat together and I kept him. He's the coolest cat ever and he does the goofiest stuff, every time she'd come over I'd have a new story or a new picture to show her of the cat doing something stupid. We raised the cat together and I've already noticed it's strange when my female friends come over and talk about how cute the cat is or whatever it just doesn't feel right. Neither of us were huge video game nerds but we were both fans of the creepy Silent Hill video game series. Just browsing the internet on a lonely Friday night and I found out they're coming out with a remake of the very first Silent Hill in January and it's a really cool idea for fans of the game and if I wasn't so far into NC I'd be tempted to talk to her about it. There's certain TV shows that we watched together and one especially that she got me to start watching with her and next spring is the final season and I don't know if I'll be able to watch it. No matter how far I get over her, I know when the first episode of the new season comes on I'll be sitting here that night reminded of her. Funny to think no matter how much progress I make in moving on, I know that's gunna remind me of her, and it's going to suck not being able to discuss it with her. I know it's her loss, her choice to not be sharing these things with me any longer, and I'm sure there's at least one other girl on the planet I'll find things in common with, but in some cases it would feel weird to try sharing these same things with someone different. Just ranting... wish she wasn't a crazy, shallow, egotistical serial monogamist, so I could still be with her.
EricaH329 Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I know how you feel. There are certain songs that I absolutely cannot listen to anymore. Not until all of this has completely passed at least. Although, if you look at it in another aspect, that goes for everyone in your life. What I mean by that, is that when you spend a lot of time with someone and then they leave your life, there will always be things that remind you of them. My best friend passed away (rest her soul) a few years back, and some songs and movies remind me of her everytime I hear or see them. My ex was my best friend also. I would tell him everything. Sometimes, when something happens, I immediatly (without realizing) think of the way he would react to it. The fact that you are slowly starting to accept everything, means that eventually you will be able to watch those shows, and play those video games, without all of the longing feelings attached. They will just simply remind you of her. That takes time though. Off topic, Silent Hill video games!? Never heard of those!! I gotta check em out!! BTW - my quote makes me laugh everytime I read it too So true!!!
Author Exit Posted November 7, 2009 Author Posted November 7, 2009 Yeah, just kinda wish I could break these mental attachments of her to other things in my life, because I don't want to have to avoid them. Blah....
GrayClouds Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Yeah, just kinda wish I could break these mental attachments of her to other things in my life, because I don't want to have to avoid them. Blah.... Ya it sucks. the fact is your simple not as far along as you liked to be, or maybe even think you are. Away of breaking them is ignore them. Not easy but when you think of them don't dwell force yourself to move on to something else. Remind yourself your thinking of the person you wanted her to be not the person she turn out to be. More importantly, think about yourself and what your going to do for yourself. Who is the working out going these days? I myself have purchased some protean power stuff. It is not doing crap, it wasting money and taste like hell. So why do it? It uses up a half hour fixing the stuff and during that time I feel like I am treating myself and that makes me feel a bit better. And it forces me into a new routine that is mine and mine alone. And I can pretend I am getting HUGHHHHHHHHHH MANNNNNNNNN, HUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (while in fact everybody asking me if I am sick because I looking too skinny)
mickleb Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Continue to make your own attachments to things. Make Silent Hill yours by playing it with as many other people as possible. Post pictures of the cat on Catbook or www.catster.com and let other people share in the joy that is his furry self. Widen your arena. These are not just 'your things' (as in you and her) they are YOUR OWN. Take them back. Just like we do with areas like the local park or pub or our favourite view. Erica is right. This is part of sharing our experiences. You are doing very well with your healing. You will never COMPLETELY forget her (maybe when you're senile but maybe not even then!) BUT you will, one day, remember the good times fondly. I promise. Unless you have been a victim of an abusive relationship, or something, this is how it goes. Look forward to today and the next piece of you life you are going to claim and, one day, she'll be just a handful of sweet memories. x
GrayClouds Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 (while in fact everybody asking me if I am sick because I looking too skinny) and if they really irritate me I tell them I have colon cancer and walk off, that usually shuts them up.
rickigal Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 This is totally normal. It isn't fun because the good memories are what make us want to be back with them. I have also wanted to contact my ex many, many times over the past month of NC over little things that we shared together. I try to think of it as he did bring a lot of joy into my life that we were together. I am happy to have known him and I do wish him the best. I don't like being reminded of those times but that fact is that it will happen. Ask yourself this, if you do contact her about these things will the conversation be the same as it was when you shared those moments? Of course it won't. It will be awkward, uncomfortable and maybe even hurt you again after you've taken this time to move on and heal.
soheartbroken Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Ya. There is lots I don't do because it reminds me too much of the ex, or my "previous life" as I like to call it. TV, radio, newspaper, music, certain shows and websites, kickboxing, certain board games...oh ya, and ALL our/my furniture is in storage indefinitely because I can't handle it. Moved back home with two duffle bags. Hopefully one day I can get back into most of these things, little by little. The TV I don't miss so much, 'cause it made me lazy and I watched far too much.
soheartbroken Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 And ya, I want to tell her so badly about all the stuff the cat does too! We had her together for 5 years...
northstar1 Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I've come to accept a lot of the bad things about her. No longer blaming myself 100%, I've realized all the things I deserve to blame on her. Slowwwly getting over her, not desperate to have her back, but there are still certain things that I wish I could share with her. We got a cat together and I kept him. He's the coolest cat ever and he does the goofiest stuff, every time she'd come over I'd have a new story or a new picture to show her of the cat doing something stupid. We raised the cat together and I've already noticed it's strange when my female friends come over and talk about how cute the cat is or whatever it just doesn't feel right. Neither of us were huge video game nerds but we were both fans of the creepy Silent Hill video game series. Just browsing the internet on a lonely Friday night and I found out they're coming out with a remake of the very first Silent Hill in January and it's a really cool idea for fans of the game and if I wasn't so far into NC I'd be tempted to talk to her about it. There's certain TV shows that we watched together and one especially that she got me to start watching with her and next spring is the final season and I don't know if I'll be able to watch it. No matter how far I get over her, I know when the first episode of the new season comes on I'll be sitting here that night reminded of her. Funny to think no matter how much progress I make in moving on, I know that's gunna remind me of her, and it's going to suck not being able to discuss it with her. I know it's her loss, her choice to not be sharing these things with me any longer, and I'm sure there's at least one other girl on the planet I'll find things in common with, but in some cases it would feel weird to try sharing these same things with someone different. Just ranting... wish she wasn't a crazy, shallow, egotistical serial monogamist, so I could still be with her. I've been there bro. For a while, way too many things triggered back memories and nostalgia...... Movies we'd seen TV shows Music Restaurants............. Hell, I even had a bad habit of finding old receipts to things, and checking the date on them to see if it was before we'd broken up. You'll move past it.
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