Kelita Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Ok, so 3 months ago i started dating this guy who has being chasing me for the past 9 months. At the begining of the first 9 months i was not attracted to him, but then we started to become good friends and i begin to have feelings for him, or so i thought. We started to go out, yet my family disaproved of him for no reason in specific, so i began to have doubts about him. at the begining i also did not want to present him as my bf to my friends becase he is not the typical guy i tend to date. yet he is very sweet to me and adores me. Though now i do present him as my bf, and have agreed to disagree with my family i am really concerned that he may not be the one for me. I really like him, think of him 24/7, we spend a lot of time together and i miss him when we dont, and it brakes my heart the thought of ever hurting him (BC he is such a great guy). i feel guilty of not feeling as sure as he does of us working out. What if we spend more time together, become more attached and then my fear is real and he is not the one for me, i realize it, and hurt him. I think its better to end hings now. though he is just a year older than me he has already spoken to me about getting engage. He makes future plans that include me, and i am not sure whether i feel as certain. 1. I wish to be with someone my family would approve of. 2. though i know no one is perfect, i am more into the more serious guys. 3. i dont think we share the same believes, which for me is a huge deal. I think he just agrees because he likes me. 4. I wish he would take better care of himself. 5. i wish he would have a good education what i do like. 1. great kisser. 2. makes me feel special all the time, random flowers, sweet text messages, calls me every morning to make sure i woke up for work (sometimes we go out really late is hard to get up) 3. Someone i can count on 4. Someone i trust 5. a hard worker that strives towards his goal in life (something we both have in common) Another thing, i am against pre-marital sex, and lately it has being really hard to be abstinet, since we are just so attracted towards eachother. He says to respect the decision, but he sure does not help for us to be "good". To be fair, i dont think i help him either to ve "good".
Lamak Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Since I can't diagnose if you love him or not I'll give you different advice. You are the only person who knows how you feel. If you don't see you two being together long term, then leave him. It sounds like he's really into you, but if you don't feel the same, don't waste his time.
patkirk Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 you should end it now while the relationship is still fresh, you qualms don't seem reconcilable when it comes to him. Sit him down and explain why, if he doesn't want to be friends then respect that, a lot of people here would wish to be in a position where a relationship didn't go for 4 years only for the person to dump them because they're not in love anymore.
harmfulsweetz Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 It actually sounds like you do like him. It's a new relationship, feel things out first. Maybe try taking it down a notch? I'm gonna be honest here, you seem quite judgemental. "1. I wish to be with someone my family would approve of. 2. though i know no one is perfect, i am more into the more serious guys. 3. i dont think we share the same believes, which for me is a huge deal. I think he just agrees because he likes me. 4. I wish he would take better care of himself. 5. i wish he would have a good education " Your family isn't the one in a relationship with him, you are. If, for every person you like, your family don't, you dump them, well...see where I'm going? I would only pay attention to my families disapproval if it was founded in truth, i.e. he had a history of crime, drugs, beating women up, was cheating on me, etc. If it were simply, 'I don't like him'-well heck, you don't have to, because I do! You actually sound like you are finding reasons to not like him, things which essentially, are superficial and potentially unfounded. One thing with men, they often agree just to keep us quiet. It's the easiest road to a nice easy life. Example, I say, I don't like strip clubs, he says neither do I, whilst looking at an ad for a strip club. Blatant lie, but it's easier to just agree. Saves on hassle. Maybe that was a tad extreme, ok, then I say I look thin in this (I look huge in it!) he says 'yeah real skinny.' It's a loose description of what I mean, all men do it. You say you are attracted to him blah blah, so why not enjoy it? Maybe it won't lead down the aisle, but heck, many R's don't but they sure are fun. Think about what you really want, what YOU want, do it because you want to, not because you worry about what others think etc.
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