jv032889 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 I need help ASAP. I'm tired of going in circles. I want out. I was doin pretty good until recently. I no longer have LC with my ex. I'm not healing at all. I work with her and its difficult to go longer than 1-2 days NC. I see her most days. Last night I was invited over for dinner. We ate, watched a movie and I ended up staying the night. She was the one who invited me to dinner. I had no intenions on calling her unless she called me. Today, we talk but it's nothing like last night. I'm so confused. One minute she wants to call me and talk to me and the next she doesn't even know me. What do I do? I can't take the pain any longer! Its already been six months. She continues to this day telling me I'm the reason why we aren't together. I'm the one who made her decision for her. She's been talking to a new girl and I know it but she continues to call me, text me!!!!! I love her dearly but part of me knows this is wrong. I even told her that her girl wouldn't like the idea of me being in her bed. I no longer want the uncertainy, pain that this is causing!!!!!!!!!!!!
Odyssey Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 jv, i know it's impossible to go total nc when you work with your ex, but why did you take up her invitation to dinner?!? Don't be confuse about her intentions though - she doesn't want to be with you! I think she's treating you like crap and you kinda allowed her. Pleeeease try to distance yourself away from her! There are better chicks much better than her for you. Seriously, your ex isn't worth this amount of trouble and pain - she's getting on with her life at the expense of preventing you from getting on with yours.
Author jv032889 Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 (edited) I'm aware that she doesn't want me. I just keep going back. I know I deserve better. When she called me last night I knew I shouldn't answer but I did. Now look at me @ day 1 again. Why does she keep calling me when she told me I'm not what she wants!!!!! How do I make it stop? She's already told me she let go but still its little circles of emotions!!! Edited November 6, 2009 by jv032889
Lamak Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 It is possible to NC on an ex who tries to talk to you. If they don't get the message, it shows that they don't respect you and don't care about your well-being. My ex pestered me for 3 months after the break during school, until I sent a clear message to her by ignoring/getting nothing for her on her birthday. Now it seems as if she respects my option of NC and has left me alone. If you keep things short and don't play their games, they should go away.
AliveAndKicking Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 I'm aware that she doesn't want me. I just keep going back. I know I deserve better. When she called me last night I knew I shouldn't answer but I did. Now look at me @ day 1 again. Why does she keep calling me when she told me I'm not what she wants!!!!! How do I make it stop? She's already told me she let go but still its little circles of emotions!!! You are right- she does not want YOU; She wants what you DO for her. you serve a purpose for her. You are an object rather than a person to her. You are also correct- You DO deserve better. YOU make it stop. ONLY you can make it stop. Please stop allowing her to use you like this. You really DO deserve better. I learned that hard way. Learn from MY mistakes and spare yourself further pain and abuse. It will NOT get better. It will only get worse. You can do it!
name witheld Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 Dunno about ignoring altogether, at least if it is hr that is initiating the contact and doing all the running (ok i doubt all lets say most of). Next time she calls just for a chat or invites you to do something, try and establish the point of it. If its chat going nowhere be poilte and make your excuses - end the call. If you do meet, keep it light. Have fun but if its not leading anywhere leave. See the pattern?
Author jv032889 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 day 1 of NC. I appreciate everyone's great advice. We all deserve more than breadcrumbs.
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