sadgirl1 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 Hey girls! It´s been 3 weeks now since he left me and went back to his Ex Girlfriend! I havent heard from him since! But i am still so hurting and can´t forget all the time we spend together! It really feels like he has been the one for me! I can´t even cry as much as i want to cause the pain feels so deep and it is like a shock that i lost him! It feels like he took the happy part of myself with him when he left! I wonder if he still thinks of me after all the great time we spent together! I think about all the times when he would say he was so happy with me and i was the one for him and he would never go back to her cause she made him so unhappy! And now he´s gone...back to her! I can´t belive all that! How could he forget me so easily! I can´t lose the Hope i have inside that he´ll come back someday and regret what he did! He just pushed me aside and all his feelings for me and went back to the old habit and the old problems he had with her! Why??? Its just dreaming i know... I am trying to do stuff and go out but i cant keep him off my mind! All my past relationships never did hurt that much and i never had this feeling before that he was the right guy! Nothing can compare to him cause it felt like we were meant for each other and he said that too! I am already taking herbal mediaction for the depression and will go to a therapist soon! It really is that bad! Its making me so sick! I miss him so much and he really is missing in my life! I dont know what to do next and how to handle it! Hope to find some comforting words here cause everyone around me just says...get over him he wasnt worth it...and it will heal in time...but all that can´t help right now! I thought i am stronger than that but i realize that i am not
106rob Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 hey,i kinda know how you must be feeling,my girlfriend of 2 years left me about 3 weeks ago,i just keep getting myself down thinking about her all the time,i work night shifts aswell and she is on my mind from the min i walk onto the production line to the min i walk off the morning after,on my breaks im itching to get on facebook and see what she is upto and i had been doing untill i found this place and it seams NC is the best thing to go for she did speak to me last night on FB but i just as instructed from here kept things blunt and to the point,it is the worst feeling ever to see them clearly without what seams like a care in the world how much they have hurt you etc,it did for me anyway seeing her wearing next to nothing sat on another guys knee your ex will be back in a honeymoon period but if they were unhappy in the first place chances are witin a few weeks things will be back to how they were,he will then realise what he has thrown away,personaly if i do move on from this and get with someone else i am happy i wouldnt go back to my ex becuase it would always be on my mind she could just throw me away as easy all over again and i dont want to go through what i am doing now all over again it is truely soul destroying,just keep your chin up hun and im told it gets easyer....we both shall see i suppose rob sorry im not the best with spelling and grammer
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 7, 2009 Author Posted November 7, 2009 Yeah...well its not easy...nothing is ever easy How can i still love him so much?! I am still dreaming about the day he´ll come back to me and we can start things over...cause somewhere deep down i think this can´t be it... he did not say all those things to me with no reason! it was all so suddenly that i dont belive it that he just forgot me and can move on with her like nothing ever happens between them and between us! I think i only find out in time but thats the problem...i go crazy...every single day without him! Those memories won´t leave me! I never thought i would be in this Situation but i can´t let go of him this easily and i won´t accept that its over :-( I know its crazy i should let go but i can´t! I have no contact with him whatsoever cause i dont wanna be the annyoing ex girlfriend...I hope he will think of me a little more every day! its so hard to move on i cant go of this love! its awful
lilbelle Posted November 7, 2009 Posted November 7, 2009 wow, i thought for a minute i had started this thread while drinking and forgot. same story girl.Same timeline. Amazing. What is in the stars huh??? I remembered today him asking me where had I come from and that I just dropped from the sky and he wanted to know where my wings where. AHHH... they are so good at this, making you feel great and then you have to wonder how he treats her. Sick over the whole thing. Go nc. completely and just stick to it. I love him enough to let him go and be done. I wish him the best whoever he ends up with. But I feel your pain cause believe me, I'm not over him.
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 7, 2009 Author Posted November 7, 2009 wow, i thought for a minute i had started this thread while drinking and forgot. same story girl.Same timeline. Amazing. What is in the stars huh??? I remembered today him asking me where had I come from and that I just dropped from the sky and he wanted to know where my wings where. AHHH... they are so good at this, making you feel great and then you have to wonder how he treats her. Sick over the whole thing. Go nc. completely and just stick to it. I love him enough to let him go and be done. I wish him the best whoever he ends up with. But I feel your pain cause believe me, I'm not over him. What happend to you?
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 Its just so hard for me to move on with all those memories and thoughts in my mind! How can I ever forget him and our time spent together and what he did to me when it ended! I will never understand and it feels like i will miss him forever:-( I´m just sad all along I cant even cry its just the sadness of the loss Even though I dont want to hope for him to come back somewhere deep inside i still do! Maybe this will pass with time but right now i just cant imagine being with anyone else ever again... its like of all the guys ive ever met he was the one who really was right for me thats why everything was great and the worst part is that i cant forget how he always said he doesnt care for her at all and I was the one he wants to be with cause he´s a lot happier with me...and so it was...we were happy and still he went back to old habits... If i only knew if he thinks of me or how he could forget me that quickly..?? I mean we shared a lot together and so suddenly one day everything changed Does anyone share this feeling i have?
lilbelle Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Yes I do know. I am in the same situation as you, I mean almost everything the same. The thought of him being with her really hurts and the loss is overwhelming. I compare it to burying my brother. That is the only thing I can compare it too and still this is worse. I like you was positive I had found my soul mate. The man I was created for. I still love him so much but I have to move on. He has made his decision and because I love him I will no longer interfere or plead with him. Eventually he will look back and realize what a great chick he had and that his way of doing things was probably inappropriate. Regardless, I am heartbroke, shattered, lost, and having a really hard time coping today. I am trying to not think about him, I am scared to death of running into him. The anxiety is incredible. I'm trying to let it all out. Staying home, just trying to deal with it all. I tried my best and I can sleep at night knowing I did. I can't own him because he has sold his heart to someone else. hang in there. If you want to read about me then look in my previous posts to get some insight. I also went through a divorce so some of those things are from that but the majority of the writings have been about him. It has helped me to be on LS and read other people's experiences.
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 Oh its so good to know that i am not alone with this feelings... I belive and i feel you hun! Heartache is and illness from which we do not die we only wish we would... and why do we have to have those memories of them in our head ALL THE TIME and all those questions?! I hope we thinks about me and our time too... I hope he did not forget and I hope he will look back someday and see what an idiot he was...i hope that for me and for you! How long has it been now with you? I feel sorry for everyone with a broken heart cause we all feel the same pain! I hope there will be better days for all of us...but til then its a long hard way with a lot of work to do
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 (edited) I thought I come here before i go nuts... Today was a really really bad day for me... its like i´ve been pushing all those pain away from me and today out of the blue it hit me so hard! I wanted to break NC so badly wanted just tell him that I miss him so damn much and that i cant belive he really did that to me! But i did not write him! I was close! So now i thought i get it all out of me here! I´m so thankful for this Forum! I´m constantly thinking about all the little things we´ve shared and all the stuff he used to say to me like how much he was into me and how happy he was with me or telling me about his ex that she was not the right one and he´s happy he found me blah blah...yet he still went back to her and to the old same **** he ever had with her and thats what I do not get at all! We were a perfect match...honestly he said that himself I dont know why he still thought he should go back to her even though he knew very well that she isnt good for him! I mean they broke up like 3 times before...WTF????!!!! Everyone said i was the rebound girl but i kinda dont belive that cause he really was in love with me and we were great together! I kinda feel bad cause we had a few fights over his (back then) ex and i asked him if he still loves her he always said NO and so we were fighting about this a few times and after one of those fights he broke up and went back! He said i didnt let him forget about her! Now is it my fault he left for her? I never meant to push him away back to her but i was kinda worried for some reason he might still loved her and he always said no no hes happy with me but after a couple of discussions about that it happend! :-( So i guess he wasnt really over her though he really told me and his family he was! And i think all the fighting about this issue made it worse! I mean he knows it never worked out between them he always said she wasnt the right one cause it never worked out! Now he had me and something really great with me and he still went back to someone it never worked out with???!!! I know his parents were mad at him for acting this way cause they never liked her but they liked me very much and told him i was finally the right girl! It made me feel good that they think this way but of course they cant change what he is thinking! No one can! I dont know if its my fault now and what to do with all those thoughts in my mind! I miss him everyday and its been almost 4 weeks and i have NC for almost 3 weeks now! Sorry it got so long just needed to let everything out a lil but cause i´m holding this pain but i think its better to talk about it! Thank you!! Edited November 12, 2009 by sadgirl1
lilbelle Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 okay babe, step 2. Write a letter. Don't send it. In one week. Read it. If you still agree with everything send it. NC though. Even after sent. He must contact you.
HeavenOrHell Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 3 weeks it's early days, it's 4 months on for me (me ex left me after 18 years in july) and I'm still depressed etc. You don't have to forget him and what you had together, how could anyone forget, no-one really forgets. I've lost the love of my life as far as I'm concerned (I used to be his too), but somehow I have to move on, but that doesn't mean forgetting. If they don't come back to us then it's not meant to be, no matter how much we love them Its just so hard for me to move on with all those memories and thoughts in my mind! How can I ever forget him and our time spent together and what he did to me when it ended! I will never understand and it feels like i will miss him forever:-( I´m just sad all along I cant even cry its just the sadness of the loss Even though I dont want to hope for him to come back somewhere deep inside i still do! Maybe this will pass with time but right now i just cant imagine being with anyone else ever again... its like of all the guys ive ever met he was the one who really was right for me thats why everything was great and the worst part is that i cant forget how he always said he doesnt care for her at all and I was the one he wants to be with cause he´s a lot happier with me...and so it was...we were happy and still he went back to old habits... If i only knew if he thinks of me or how he could forget me that quickly..?? I mean we shared a lot together and so suddenly one day everything changed Does anyone share this feeling i have?
stace79 Posted November 12, 2009 Posted November 12, 2009 I know exactly how you feel. Three years ago this Christmas, my boyfriend broke up with me b/c of an ex, too. We had dated for about four months, but I was so falling in love with him, and his ex-girlfriend couldn't stand that he was moving on with me, so she came slithering back. He had been honest with me that he wasn't totally over her, but I ignored it, thinking if she wanted him she'd have been with him. Anyway when he broke up with me, I was devastated. I couldn't eat or sleep. My doctor prescribed Ambien to help me sleep, and then I became obsessed with exercising because the physical pain was the only thing that would take my mind off knowing he was with her, doing all the things WE used to do. I dropped like 25 pounds in a month. What I will tell you is that it DOES eventually get better. I won't lie -- it took me about three months to get back to some sort of normal. However, I kept in touch with him during all the time he was "figuring things out" with his ex. I would NOT recommend that. I would recommend going cold turkey and having no contact with him at all. Try to start doing things again as soon as possible. Try to start meeting people. It was only when I lessened my contact with him and began seeing that other guys wanted to date me, that I started feeling my self-esteem come back. (Of course about the time I had two awesome dates with someone else, he came crawling back to me and I took him back.. ha. Wouldn't recommend that either.) But you WILL get better. I know -- I was in your shoes. Keep posting here if it helps you, too. Best wishes & hugs.
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 Oh yeah i know i gotta do all this stuff and go out... and i do! I really am doing anything to keep myself busy BUT nothing works whatsoever! I´m going thru the day and just can not belive he is gone it feels like a nightmare and im gonna wake up soon and he will be there! I have an urgency to text him! So he dont forget me! But maybe i´ll pop up in his mind when i dont text him and keep NC! My friend said he´ll wonder why i dont text and that´ll make him think about me more than texting him!? IDK if it really is like that! But i kinda feel like that can´t be true! It just cant! Time goes by really fast but i miss him more each day! :-( that sucks I wanna share all news with him and i wonder how he is and all that stuff! Something so huge is missing in my life it feels so empty even though i keep doing my thing and talk a lot to other people but still I need HIM! Holding onto this Hope that maybe someday he will me mine again and we´ll make it better is the only thing that helps a lil even though its maybe not like that! Time passes and Hope fades away yet still keeps coming back! Nothing was ever so hard for me like this loss! Seriously it feels like he died! He isnt there anymore and i hear nothing about him...he´s just gone away and left me with all those lil pieces of myself :'( If i just knew that he thinks about me sometimes and misses me... I remember him saying when he broke up that it hurts him too and he will miss me but he just dont know what he should feel cause he is confused...well he wasnt confused when he got back together with her! Thinking about them doing all those things i used to do with him kills me! It really kills me but i guess you all know this Painful feeling you have inside when you lose somebody you really loved! And i am such a fool hoping that he might come back cause he realized that they won´t work out together again... I should hate him for what he did but I can´t! I wish i could turn back the time and wouldnt let this happen OR fast forward to see what will be in the future... well all this I wanna tell him but i am here now to tell you guys cause I really dont wanna break NC right now I´m kinda proud i was strong for the past weeks to not do it but recently it just hits me over and over again and i just wanna say something to him! God thats so hard:'(
MeErnie Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 I didn't look into the details of this thread but I saw somewhere that you said you were a rebound. Please, don't disapprove yourself. Look at you. You deserve better than this. I'm not in the same shoe but similar. I'm going to break up with my boyfriend as I know he hasn't stopped talking to his ex of many years. He even flew over to see her, without telling me. This is hard, I know. To think of him choosing someone over you is the worst feeling ever. But don't give others the power to disapprove yourself. You will heal. Don't give up hopes.
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 I hate it! I hate that feeling i have! I´m going out tonight but I already know its not gonna be as much fun as it would be with him :-( God I miss him more than anything :-( Dont this a**hole thinks about me sometimes?! I would like to know that but i guess i will not! Its like nobody can keep up with him! He already had everything I wanted how can I find somebody who is as perfect for my as he is!? I guess time will show, keeping NC gets really hard with time though...I thought it might be easier when time goes by but it really does just makes the urgent bigger to text him but i already know there will be no respond or no respond i would like to hear so i better do not contact him! Its horrible
cdt76 Posted November 13, 2009 Posted November 13, 2009 It is horrible. It's like your heart has been ripped from your chest and your happiness has gone with it. Mine decided to dump me and start a relationship with a guy I work with. I can't touch him though I'd like to beat his A$$. I've often asked myself the same, if she thinks about me, if she thinks about the time we shared. Honestly, I do not know. I know she checks up on my on myspace from time to time. Other than that, I have no idea. She nor I have had any contact since September. It's hard because even today I wanted to text her and ask if she was happy. But I'm slowly, very slowly coming to grips with the fact that I am worth so much more than what she threw me away for. I thought she was the "ONE" for me but as it turned out, I was merely a guy "was fun" to be around. If you contact him now, you will get one of two responses: 1) something you don't want to hear or 2) No response at all. So, cry, scream, yell, take the medicine. Take time. Think about him. It's all you can do, don't fight it. Just don't blame yourself for this. It was all him and he lost out on the best thing he ever met in his life.
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 14, 2009 Author Posted November 14, 2009 Gosh my night out has been horrible... i tried to have fun but all i could think of was him....when i was a lil drunk i almost sent him a text message but then i didnt send it though... it was hard! When i came home this morning i had to cry so hard! I think i am not ready to live my life yet Iam doing everything to make the best of it but he is in my mind no matter what! Its the worst feeling i´ve ever had! :-( dont know what else to do
stace79 Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 I understand. I'm right there with ya. I'm still talking to my ex, but it makes it harder. Ya just gotta live through the pain and know somewhere deep down that it will get better some day. Obviously you want to know "when" but you just don't know -- it's different for each of us. But one day you will get better. We're not the only ones living through heart breaks. Keep your chin up as best you can ok?
nobleguy Posted November 14, 2009 Posted November 14, 2009 (edited) ...when i was a lil drunk i almost sent him a text message but then i didnt send it though... it was hard! I always delete her number from my phone and any texts I've received from her so I have no way of drunk dialling. Works a treat. Still want to do it but... Must do that tonight before I go out... When i came home this morning i had to cry so hard! I think i am not ready to live my life yet Iam doing everything to make the best of it but he is in my mind no matter what! Yep. Been out and had plenty of good nights (and some where I just was not in the mood at all), but then get home to the empty house and the tears suddenly come from nowhere. It's the silence for me. Its the worst feeling i´ve ever had! :-( dont know what else to do You just have to keep doing what you are doing. Even if you think about him all night you must go out, you must socialise, see friends, do anything to try to keep your mind off it. P.S. Don't forget you are experiencing the really early days which really are the pits. They WILL get better. Edited November 14, 2009 by nobleguy
Author sadgirl1 Posted November 15, 2009 Author Posted November 15, 2009 And there goes another day with the Pain! I just wanna have him back! God, i cant take this anymore! Do you have those moments when you just wanna scream out loud and have this horrible feeling that you just CAN NOT live withouth them??!! Its killing me! Hope is all i got left! I dont wanna hope for it but still it i there! Is this normal?
stace79 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 And there goes another day with the Pain! I just wanna have him back! God, i cant take this anymore! Do you have those moments when you just wanna scream out loud and have this horrible feeling that you just CAN NOT live withouth them??!! Its killing me! Hope is all i got left! I dont wanna hope for it but still it i there! Is this normal? It's normal. I'm having it now actually. I am going NC with my ex because he doesn't want to see me anymore, and he just wants to "move on" and he wants his feelings for me to change. He just wants to be my friend now. Well screw that. Anyway yes, I want to just scream too. You just gotta keep doing what you are doing now. Eventually it will go away. Set some goals for yourself -- things you always wanted to do but didn't. Keep writing here. Take up some violent form of exercise like kickboxing -- that tends to help too.
LovelyDaze Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Don't break NC. Please stay strong, you are doing a great job and yes it is normal to feel intense pain. I am still going through my breakup with all the grace and courage possible. You must not show him how sad of a girl you really are. Why be with someone who's version of love is like a flip flop? He's with her then he's with you then he's with her again? Your ex has no idea what real love is at all. He is at Level 0 when it comes to handling a real relationship. I truly believe he WILL contact you at some point in the future. But this is not a good thing. Your ex likes the drama of pulling the heart strings of the both of you. So to me your ex is not only an a$$ but he is cruel. You are to worthy of real love. Don't look for it...it will come to you.
nobleguy Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 (edited) And there goes another day with the Pain! I just wanna have him back! God, i cant take this anymore! Do you have those moments when you just wanna scream out loud and have this horrible feeling that you just CAN NOT live withouth them??!! Its killing me! Hope is all i got left! I dont wanna hope for it but still it i there! Is this normal? Yes. I've been doing OK for the last four days or so, but yesterday was awful. Seeing her (to pick the children up) with all her support keeping her company, her place being so active and noisy. While my place is like a morgue every day. I have gone back to hope. It's not good but it's all I have at the moment. Tomorrow I'll probably hate her and want to kill her, then the next day I might be OK for a bit. Up and down, up and down Edited November 16, 2009 by nobleguy
TimH Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Hey Sadgirl1 may I ask, is that you in your avatar pic? Cause if so and your personality matches your looks,that guy who dumped you is a LOSER! If thats you,you are BEAUTIFUL.I mean it.Don't waste another day on that sorry loser who you call a Man.A coward is more like it.Remember there are real Men out there just dying to give a Women like yourself a lifetime of love,faithfilness, attention etc.Now go get it.
sean1970 Posted November 16, 2009 Posted November 16, 2009 Yes. I've been doing OK for the last four days or so, but yesterday was awful. Seeing her (to pick the children up) with all her support keeping her company, her place being so active and noisy. While my place is like a morgue every day. I have gone back to hope. It's not good but it's all I have at the moment. Tomorrow I'll probably hate her and want to kill her, then the next day I might be OK for a bit. Up and down, up and down I have forgotten nobleguy, how long has it been for you... since the breakup?
Recommended Posts