A second chance but in LDR form? What ARE the chances...

[Madandsad]

Hello I was with a great girl (Rebecca) 2 and a half years ago, we never fought, we made eachother laugh, she understood me and I understood her...it was great but due to some extraordinary circumstances I broke it off with regret probably from the moment I did it. We went our seperate ways...she got married I went into dating but every now and then we'd talk and say we missed eachother. She was nervous before her wedding and I suggested she was making a mistake and she made it...and got divorced later on. She moved far away and recently for the past few weeks weve been talking on the phone...shes coming down for christmas for 3 weeks and we are supposed to hang out with eachother...I know shes got it in the back of her mind I broke it off last tie but shes also saying she loves me and cant find what we had with anyone else. I had mentioned a long distance relationship because after the Christmas visit she goes back...shes in school until summer 2011 and then coming home. Can a long distance relationship actually work...?

[Person012345]

Sure they can work. But you have to be up to the pressure. And you need to trust her completely. and she you. It's really down to who you are whether it will work or not. I'm too new to give any advice, but good luck whatever.

[northstar1]

Hello I was with a great girl (Rebecca) 2 and a half years ago, we never fought, we made eachother laugh, she understood me and I understood her...it was great but due to some extraordinary circumstances I broke it off with regret probably from the moment I did it. We went our seperate ways...she got married I went into dating but every now and then we'd talk and say we missed eachother. She was nervous before her wedding and I suggested she was making a mistake and she made it...and got divorced later on. She moved far away and recently for the past few weeks weve been talking on the phone...shes coming down for christmas for 3 weeks and we are supposed to hang out with eachother...I know shes got it in the back of her mind I broke it off last tie but shes also saying she loves me and cant find what we had with anyone else. I had mentioned a long distance relationship because after the Christmas visit she goes back...shes in school until summer 2011 and then coming home. Can a long distance relationship actually work...?

 

They can, but it takes a lot of work, communication and committment to an end goal together.

 

When you dated her a few years ago, how long did you date her for?

 

If you are going to try and attempt it, you'll have to be on the same page when she leaves for year or two. ie. Will you see each other when she is gone? What sort of communication will you have?

 

I would meet with her, see how it goes at Christmas, but dont' rush things. See how it feels and if the connection is still there. Then have a long talk about the next step and be clear what both your expectations are.

[Boundary Problem]

If your communication is good and you trust each other it can work. But it isn't a long term solution. Hard part is not being able to give them a hug when you want.

 

If both are willing to communicate it is surprising how bonded they can be, despite the distance.

 

But missing the physical stuff is hard.

 

It is kinda funny. If it is the right person, and the distance is a necessity, then you make it work. It isn't as if dating someone else is going to come even close to what you share with the right person (even at 1/2 mast with the distance).

[Lucky_One]

So in two and one-half years, she found a new BF, dated him, became engaged, planned a wedding, got married, and then got divorced, healed from that broken marriage - and now for a few months she is telling you she loves you?

 

Does it seem that maybe she tends to move things at very rapid paces, and makes spontaneous decisions without a lot of thought?