Gigi14 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 I've been with the same guy for nearly seven years. In the beginning of our realtionship, things were great! He was exceedingly and even sickingly affectionate, and even stated how I was the girl he hoped to marry one day. Now that we are a little older, his softer side has become calloused. He never brings up the the prospect of marriage, let alone the possibility of starting a family. It took 4 years to even take the next step and move in together. When questioned, he says we wants to get married someday, but certainly not anytime soon. He wants to finish school, and claims that matrimony would just get in the way. He's even told me that all marriage really is is a piece of paper. I feel like a hopeless day dreamer. I really and truly love him. We have been through so much, but sometimes it feels as if I am being dragged along. I spent my childhood dating him, and have never been with anyone else... not that I'd want to be anyway. I just wonder if he will ever marry me, like he claims, or am I wasting my youth on a man who will never committ?
sumdude Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 Chances are he's comfortable with the way things are and won't take it to the next level. If you want more you may want to find a way out. sorry..
Edward10 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 I just wonder if he will ever marry me, like he claims, or am I wasting my youth on a man who will never committ? marry you? no. Not unless something changes. Your child-bearing years are like gold. Be careful with whom you entrust them. If you were choosing for your daughter, what would you want her to do in this situation? One more thing - go read up on the Five Languages of Love and see if he still is expressing his love language. Maybe he has fallen out of love and is indifferent to your needs. I don't know.
hopeful1980 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 If it were me, I'd tell him. I would say, "I want to be engaged in a year." I'd give him that time to propose and if he didn't, I'd leave. Simple as that.
Enema Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 I agree with him. Marriage is an outdated practice. All it does is cost money, expose you both to financial risk and changes nothing in the relationship dynamic. Unless you plan to have kids in the near future, I don't see the need for it. Women are brainwashed from a young age thinking they "have" to get married as a sign of real commitment. That's bs. He's living with you, things are fine and you've been together for 7 years. Actions speak louder than I do's.
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