lance.dark Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I have made out twice with this girl in whom I'm interested. We went on a date a week after the second time which went fairly well I think. I waited a few days and sent her a text asking if she wanted to hang out and she had something else going on. The text sounded genuinely sorry ("Sorry!" and then her reason) and the reason was definitely legit since she had mentioned it before and I had just forgotten. 2 days later I asked again and she said she wasn't sure since she had a project to do. I told her jokingly that she is playing hard to get and she sent back "not on purpose haha." It's certainly reasonable that she has stuff going on since we're both in school so I can't tell if she is blowing me off or not. Normally I wouldn't ask twice so close together but those two nights are pretty much the only nights for 2 weeks that I'll have free. I am leaning more towards she is not interested but I figured a second opinion never hurts.
boogieboy Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 she may be busy, but after hanging out two times, she should at least be talking to you on the phone or in text. If she hasnt initiated any texts or calls just for the sake of talking, then shes not interested.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Did you ask her to do something that day, or did you ask her in advance? I am almost never able to hang out the same day. The guy I'm dating now has figured out that if he wants to spend time with me, he's going to have to ask me out about a week in advance. If we waits till just a few days before (as he did in the beginning), I will already have plans. Also, are you asking her to "hang out" or go out on a date? I personally would be lukewarm about an invitation to "hang out", but much more receptive to an actual date, planned a bit in advance.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 If she hasnt initiated any texts or calls just for the sake of talking, then shes not interested. Wrong. Most women, myself included, rarely or never initiate contact, ESPECIALLY in the early stages. I don't care how much I like a guy, I will not call or text first until we are well established as a couple.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Stay off the texting. It's too easy to blow you off by typing a few words. Talking to someone let's you get a feel if they're telling you the truth or not. All things considered I'd say she's not interested. If she's in college 90% of them are in a dingbat stage and don't know what they want. Get the home phone number from girls in the future before you start making out and start calling for dates.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Wrong. Most women, myself included, rarely or never initiate contact, ESPECIALLY in the early stages. I don't care how much I like a guy, I will not call or text first until we are well established as a couple. Great advice from a woman. This girl knows dating. This is the way it should be.
Author lance.dark Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 When I said made out, I mean we hooked up after parties. We did not hang out before. The date was the first time we really talked at all. No one has a home phone number here. Your cell is your home phone. I also despise texting but getting her alone is pretty difficult. I think I'm done contacting her at all.
BG1985 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Look, Tiz, I understand that you're telling people to get home phone numbers, but the fact of the matter is that most people don't have home phone numbers anymore, especially people I'm seeing. Everybody has cell phones these days. I know that Doc Love and other "dating gurus" emphasize getting the home phone, but people who are in college/early post grad typically don't have home telephones. I am personally more interested in having the most direct access to a girl, which would be her cell phone. Texting is such a passive form of communication, and I admit I do it more than I should as well.
boogieboy Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Wrong. Most women, myself included, rarely or never initiate contact, ESPECIALLY in the early stages. I don't care how much I like a guy, I will not call or text first until we are well established as a couple. Maybe I had lunatics for gf's then, because even in the beginning stages, they initiated contact many times... It was obvious they were interested.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Look, Tiz, I understand that you're telling people to get home phone numbers, but the fact of the matter is that most people don't have home phone numbers anymore, especially people I'm seeing. Everybody has cell phones these days. I know that Doc Love and other "dating gurus" emphasize getting the home phone, but people who are in college/early post grad typically don't have home telephones. I am personally more interested in having the most direct access to a girl, which would be her cell phone. Texting is such a passive form of communication, and I admit I do it more than I should as well. All this goes without saying. I'm not living in 1975. I'm emphasizing to ask for the home number. If she doesn't have one that's fine.
DustySaltus Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Stay off the texting. It's too easy to blow you off by typing a few words. Talking to someone let's you get a feel if they're telling you the truth or not. All things considered I'd say she's not interested. If she's in college 90% of them are in a dingbat stage and don't know what they want. Get the home phone number from girls in the future before you start making out and start calling for dates. Agreed. People are held more accountable when someone calls them and that's the reason why a lot of people text these days. I believe in a 2 to 1 ratio. If you call a girl and ask her to hang out and she either doesn't respond or puts you off you can call her one more time. Anything more than that looks desperate. She knows your number, she knows you like her....leave it alone now. Let her think about you a little bit. Give it a week and either way you will have your answer.
phineas Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 THIS! I believe in a 2 to 1 ratio. If you call a girl and ask her to hang out and she either doesn't respond or puts you off you can call her one more time. Anything more than that looks desperate. She knows your number, she knows you like her....leave it alone now. Let her think about you a little bit. Give it a week and either way you will have your answer. I usually wait a week, more if there is texting after the first "i'm busy". Then leave it alone.
BCCA Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I think her contacting you right away might be asking a lot, but generally, you can tell when someone likes you. Her answers, thus far, lead be to believe she isnt really that interested. not on purpose haha See, I dont feel like this is the kind of response you give to someone you are interested in. Its kind of a cop out, 'sorry, im just SO busy I cant hang out'. When women are interested, they make time. When they arent, they make excuses. but the fact of the matter is that most people don't have home phone numbers anymore, especially people I'm seeing. Everybody has cell phones these days I know of very few people who have a home phone, and the ones that do (myself included) never use/answer it. I give out my cell number to people I want to keep in touch with, and anyone who calls my home number - I can assume is a telemarketer/wrong number. All this goes without saying. I'm not living in 1975. I'm emphasizing to ask for the home number. If she doesn't have one that's fine I think getting A phone number, and having an actual discussion is key. If you can only converse with someone via text, I think thats a bad sign. But I dont think it has to be a home number to = interest. She knows your number, she knows you like her....leave it alone now Agreed. You tried 2 times, and were shot down without her offering alternate suggestions. Let it be.
BG1985 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 If this broad were genuinely interested, she would have called you the instant she had finished her project or had any sort of free time. When a girl is truly interested in you, she makes it really f*cking easy to get a hold of her.
DustySaltus Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 She's bobbing and weaving all over the place. I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it.
Tiz Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I think getting A phone number, and having an actual discussion is key. If you can only converse with someone via text, I think thats a bad sign. But I dont think it has to be a home number to = interest. I don't think that no offering of the home number is a sign of low interest. The reason I think it's good is that she usually has less distractions when she's at her residence. There is less of a chance of a dropped call, her being with her friends, or working. It's a good time to ask for a date and evaluate her reaction. I'm reading way into this, but maybe it could be sign that she trusts you if she gives you the home number. Trust could also be interpreted as interest. This is a big maybe. If she has a home phone number and she won't give it to you or you find out later that she lied about having one this is a bad sign. However, if she is one who strongly associates her personal residence with her home phone number or she has been through a bad experience, and she just met you I can maybe understand hesitancy in giving it out even if she has interest.
phineas Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 A lot of the single women my age don't have home phones these days. It's an added expense. 5 yrs ago getting a cell signal inside a building or department was tough. Not so much these days. The only reason I have a home phone is because I have small kids. My buddy is the ambulence driver for my city. So I know in MY city 911 response time is slower if I call from a cell phone instead of a land line because calls are routed differently & I've allready had to use 911 once before.
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