laurag Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Hi, just having one of my paranoid days, need some perspective in this situation. I'd posted before about my boyfriend wanting to take things slow, so we did for a few days but then decided to go back to the way we were before. So far things have been going pretty good, better than before, but I'm beginning to have doubts. This will probably sound immature, but he used to put little messages for his ex in his messenger nickname, and well, he doesn't do that for me. He did it in the beginning (like the first few days) but then stopped doing it for fear of "scaring me off". I've asked him about it, one time he said he was thinking about writing something special for me again but didn't know what, and the last time he didn't answer, just said something about that relationship being over (I did mention the girl's name heh). Does this mean he doesn't love me? He says he does, but why won't he do those things for me too?? Thanks for any replies.
Lishy Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 How long have you been together? How did they split and and how long ago?
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Maybe he does other things that are unique in your relationship? Something he didn't do for his ex? I did a couple of things for my ex and I know I won't do them for the girl I'm currently dating. I just don't want a past relationship influence the current one. Maybe he feels the same way...
BCCA Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Honestly, I think youre worrying about nothing. Your relationship and the one he had with his ex are not the same, and as such, things arent going to be identical. I dont see anything hes doing that would raise a red flag, but you have to understand that he might just not want things to be the same with you as they were with the ex. I dont think this particular issue has anything to do with whether he loves your or how much.
boogieboy Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Yeah I would think he doesnt want to do the little messages, because it reminds him of his ex, and really, no one needs that.
canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 love takes time he probably realized he was falling into a habit that reminded him of his ex like boogieboy says so he stopped for whatever reasons things didnt work out with his ex he probably really doesnt want things to go the same way so he's going to do things differently and yeah... you dont want him to merely replace his ex with you anyways... why dont you write him cute little love notes on postit notes and leave them in strage places in his house... start a new trend
Lovegod Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Instead of getting nothing out of the other responses, I'm going to tell you about what I did, because I treat my woman NOTHING like I treated the last girl I was in a serious relationship with. I spoiled the **** out of the last girl I was with. Anything she wanted, she got it. She ended up walking all over me, and wanted more. Now before you tell me it was her fault, it wasn't. I LET her get anything she wanted. I willingly spoiled her. If I hadn't done so, things probably would have been better. My current woman is pissed that I don't spoil her and make her a princess, much like I did with my ex. But you know what? She doesn't walk all over me. She doesn't demand a thing from me. This relationship has lasted way longer too. So before you complain about him not treating you like he treated his ex, just remember that he may be doing it to keep his self-respect and prevent himself from hating your guts.
canadaguy98 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I spoiled the **** out of the last girl I was with. Anything she wanted, she got it. She ended up walking all over me, and wanted more. Now before you tell me it was her fault, it wasn't. I LET her get anything she wanted. I willingly spoiled her. If I hadn't done so, things probably would have been better. My current woman is pissed that I don't spoil her and make her a princess, much like I did with my ex. But you know what? She doesn't walk all over me. Amen awesome post Lovegod
betamanlet Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Hi, just having one of my paranoid days, need some perspective in this situation. I'd posted before about my boyfriend wanting to take things slow, so we did for a few days but then decided to go back to the way we were before. So far things have been going pretty good, better than before, but I'm beginning to have doubts. This will probably sound immature, but he used to put little messages for his ex in his messenger nickname, and well, he doesn't do that for me. He did it in the beginning (like the first few days) but then stopped doing it for fear of "scaring me off". I've asked him about it, one time he said he was thinking about writing something special for me again but didn't know what, and the last time he didn't answer, just said something about that relationship being over (I did mention the girl's name heh). Does this mean he doesn't love me? He says he does, but why won't he do those things for me too?? Thanks for any replies. His ex probably got bored of him by him revealing he liked her and dumped him. He's probably learned his lesson and knows to not show much interest if he wants to keep a woman interested in him.
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