adover Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Hey all, I'm in one of those horrible situations. Been split up with my ex for 2 weeks now (My choosing, I'll explain in a second) and basically I miss her horribly, and I still love her more than anything. I'm meetin up with her tonight to get some money she owes me and it will probably be the long goodbye. The thing is we were never a "perfect" relationship, even though we got on really well and spent loads of time together we argued a lot. and I mean A LOT. The month leading up to me ending it we were pretty much arguing every day. A mixture of me being stressed and her just being generally miserable about things in her life put too much pressure and in an argument I decided to call it a day. I think from anyone's view it's fair enough. I still think I done the right thing and even now she agrees. The thing is, I really want her back but for the reasons above, I'm not sure it's the best thing to do... I love her dearly and have been uber depressed all week and cant get her out of my head! I'm just not sure what to do
Gigi14 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 Well, that is a conondrum. I must congratulate you on the abiltiy to sever the ties of your relationship like that. Of course it's going to hurt. She was a very significant part of your life. Your situation reminds me of my own in actuality. Me and my beau argue and bicker all the time. There are months where we will be fine, but then there are months when I'll sleep 2 hours a night. It isn't a healthy, functional situation... but alas, i'm weak. Atleast you made the initative to end something you knew wouldn't work. Who knows... maybe all you two need is clarity. Time does heal. Maybe some distance and time spent apart can serve the realtionship well for a future possibility.
Author adover Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 Thanks for the reply. Well while we were in the relationship I always knew it was unhealthy. She came across as very disrespectful at times and also quite selfish with it. We argued a lot, mostly down to me not feeling happy with her in relation to how much sex she wanted, how much affection and attention she gave and also the fact she wasn't financially stable (she's a student who's more interested in shopping and drinking than keeping her head above water) and so always had to borrow money off me and I ended up paying a lot. The flip side though is that I did love her dearly and currently feel still like she was the one for me. I can't work out whether it's just the pain of loss and that I will find someone better who ticks all my boxes and doesnt give me reason to moan or that I'm massively regretting my decision and have done the wrong thing. I suppose that's what I'm seeking advice about
crazy_grl Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 Thanks for the reply. Well while we were in the relationship I always knew it was unhealthy. She came across as very disrespectful at times and also quite selfish with it. We argued a lot, mostly down to me not feeling happy with her in relation to how much sex she wanted, how much affection and attention she gave and also the fact she wasn't financially stable (she's a student who's more interested in shopping and drinking than keeping her head above water) and so always had to borrow money off me and I ended up paying a lot. If you were advising somebody else on your situation, would you suggest anybody stay with a girl like that? I try not to judge someone without getting their side of the story, but there's nothing that can justify using all her money on shopping and drinking and expecting you to take responsibility for her. It's a VERY bad character trait that will leave you suffering. I had a manager who made the mistake of marrying a woman like that. The guy was well past retirement age but couldn't afford to retire and enjoy his golden years because he still had her shopping bills to pay off. It was very sad, and I'd hate to see anybody end up that way. The flip side though is that I did love her dearly and currently feel still like she was the one for me. I can't work out whether it's just the pain of loss and that I will find someone better who ticks all my boxes and doesnt give me reason to moan or that I'm massively regretting my decision and have done the wrong thing. I suppose that's what I'm seeking advice about Of course you'll find someone better, someone who won't empty your pockets and disrespect you. Be done with this girl. I think you need to take a hard look at yourself at try to figure out why you'd not only put up with someone like that but think they're "the one".
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