reyna raney Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 we started off as friends, not really we met and we have been togetherever since (almost24/7 well other than when either of us have been to jail prison), 5 years and 2 kids later. i know he loves me in a way but i don't think he's in love with me. some of the comments he says make me feel like i'm not the one.he has cheated on me not once but twice, but that we got thru that b.s. kinda of sorta i sometimes catch myself waiting for the next time,i love him, he is my best friend. well he don't like to discuss issues he kinda avoids them. if i want him to hear me out i have to write him a letter, but i never get a response back. i feel like i'm totally opposite than what he says he likes, and i always ask myself why am i still in this relationship or why am i holding him back from something that he wants. yours truly confused
Author reyna raney Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 (edited) what's your question, exactly? i guess my question is if he says and does things that are opposite than what i am like, then am i in this for myself? i love him with all my heart and if i'm not what will make him happy than i don't want to be the one to keep him from being happy. real question should i spit or swallow? that is what he rants and raves about that is the difference between love and lust is to spit or swallow please someone give some advice i'm starting to get a headache from being so confused Edited November 5, 2009 by reyna raney
TaraMaiden Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 The bottom line is, it's your choice whether you stay or go. Can you see things improving on their own? Do you want to make the effort to improve things? Will he make the same, equal effort as you? This isn't about you doing things to make him happy. It's about both of you working equally to make the effort to make each other happy. If you don't see him being able to do that, then, walk. It's got nothing to do with spitting or swallowing. it's about mutually agreeing on what you both want. He's not doing the spitting or swallowing, is he? That's all you. For him. So it's one sided.... Not the way it should be, is it?
boundaryproblem Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Your post was all about him. yawn. Your life should be about you. Is he meeting your needs? Therein lies the answer to your question. What are your needs? Sometimes we are so busy looking after everyone else, we get lost in the maelstrom.
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