PinkToes Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I'm having surgery in about a week, and I'll be in the hospital for a few days. I live alone and I'm supposed to have someone stay with me after that. My friends and family will be here as much as necessary, and I'm lucky to have them. But right now, it sucks that I'm not in a relationship, because I really miss having someone to look after me; someone who knows my habits and knows where everything is in the house; someone who knows what I need without having to ask. Someone who could hold me all night long, and make sure I'm comfortable. For a little while, I want to be taken care of. I don't feel like this very often, and that's a good thing. But there are definitely times when I don't want to be the one who has to handle everything. I just want to come home and heal and know that everything will be taken care of. This is one of those times, and it's really, really hard right now.
TaraMaiden Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 You know what? You're right. I can see how dreadfully lonely that might be. The only crumb of comfort I can offer you is that this increases your self-reliance, independence and Self-Mastery. If ever you find yourself in a relationship where Mr Right is proving to be Mr Thoughtless, Inconsiderate Selfish and Uncaring, you know already - You KNOW already - that actually, you might like to have him around, but you don't need him. Because you're stronger than that. Cope with this crisis, and come what may, you can cope with anything.
jlr Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I feel you on this. There's some situations where it just really sucks to not have a special someone around. I wish you good luck on your surgery, and I hope your friends and family can make things easier on you. Let us know how it all goes.
onewillburn Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I understand where you're coming from, but at least you have friends and family by your side. There have been some recent times where I could have used at least just those people in my life.
angelface78 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Pinktoes, Dont focus on who is NOT there, focus on the people that are by your side. You have all of them and God is also with you. What more do you need?? I wish you the best of luck with your surgery. You are strong!! GOOD LUCK AND LET US KNOW HOW IT WENT!! Im sure it will be just fine!!
HeavenOrHell Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Aw hun ((((((hugs))))) I SO know what you mean, I've worried about what will happen if I get really ill, I haven't really got anyone to ask to help me if I'm ill, although I'm sure a couple of them would get shopping and meds at least, I don't know what I would eat if I couldn't cook though. My ex said he will look after me if I'm ill, well it's tempting! He brought shopping over to me when I had a cold 3 weeks ago. An ex friend of mine had breast cancer and she wasn't allowed to do hardly anything for herself at home, I have no idea how I would manage in that situation, I would tell the hospital that I just don't have that support All the best with the surgery, and hope you get the support you need xx
gtrguy Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I am in NYC too so in general it is a bad time to be single because of the holidays!! Stay strong and let me know if you need help. You will come out stronger from being on your own without him.
Author PinkToes Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 Thank you, everyone. You're so right that I'm lucky to have friends & family who can help; the situation would be much more difficult otherwise. Thank you for reminding me of that. It's funny because at first, I was determined to do it all alone. I've been fiercely independent since birth (my mom says I wanted to drive myself home from the maternity ward), and I tend to believe I can do anything without help. So in a way, it's a good exercise for me to even have to ask for help, because it feels like weakness. Maybe that's part of the reason why it seems it would be easier to have a boyfriend looking out for me, because I wouldn't have to ask. But I know the biggest thing is wishing I could have that loving care from a partner; the feeling that comes from knowing you can count on each other during the more difficult challenges. And there is an emotional support that just doesn't feel quite the same, coming from anyone else. There was a couple in the doc's waiting room and she looked scared, and he was holding her hand and stroking her hair. And my (admittedly) self-absorbed gut reaction was envy. I do miss that kind of support. But I know it could be much worse, the situation could be worse, and I'm very lucky to have people in my life who care enough to help. Thank you for reminding me of that. And it means a lot to have LS to turn to at times like this. I love you all! By the way, apparently the hospital has wi-fi in "various locations" but not in patient's rooms. So I'm going to have to decide whether going online is important enough to wander the halls, looking for a signal, in one of those hot rearview gowns. ;-) Thanks, everyone.
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