onewillburn Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I did something dumb tonight: I checked the ex's myspace profile. I just went and entered the URL out of some ancient, not unlearned habit that sprung out of nowhere. I thought it'd be private and I wouldn't see anything and it would be no big deal, so I didn't hit the stop button or X out right away. Apparently it's public now. There wasn't really anything of note on there. No comments from other guys, she's still single, etc. But what caught my attention was her playlist of songs. ALL of them are angry, "**** you, you broke my heart" type songs that you would expect the dumpee to have on his or her playlist. Her "mood" status was "fermented" (pissed off, basically). What the hell? Why the hell is she so angry when she's the one who left me and is basically living a much better life than I am at the moment? Why is she still single and not talking to guys? I was/am 99% sure there is somebody else in the picture, but there doesn't seem to be any trace of that. She's obviously not holding out for me because we got together 21 days ago and she outright told me it wouldn't work. I don't know. Never gonna check it again, because it stirs up too many questions. I feel like a weirdo for looking at it, anyway. I'm just confused about the anger on her part...FIVE months after she dumped me. I could understand a little anger on the part of the dumper directly after the relationship ended, but the dumper's five months after a break up are vastly different than the dumpee's and I would imagine a lot easier to recover from.
LostInLA Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Well just because someone is the dumper doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to automatically be happy. Sure, as the dumpees we think they left and now their life is all happy but you can never really know. And it sucks to wonder but we have to tell ourselves to move on and not be concerned.
GrayClouds Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I did something dumb tonight: I checked the ex's myspace profile. I just went and entered the URL out of some ancient, not unlearned habit that sprung out of nowhere. I thought it'd be private and I wouldn't see anything and it would be no big deal, so I didn't hit the stop button or X out right away. Apparently it's public now. There wasn't really anything of note on there. No comments from other guys, she's still single, etc. But what caught my attention was her playlist of songs. ALL of them are angry, "**** you, you broke my heart" type songs that you would expect the dumpee to have on his or her playlist. Her "mood" status was "fermented" (pissed off, basically). What the hell? Why the hell is she so angry when she's the one who left me and is basically living a much better life than I am at the moment? Why is she still single and not talking to guys? I was/am 99% sure there is somebody else in the picture, but there doesn't seem to be any trace of that. She's obviously not holding out for me because we got together 21 days ago and she outright told me it wouldn't work. I don't know. Never gonna check it again, because it stirs up too many questions. I feel like a weirdo for looking at it, anyway. I'm just confused about the anger on her part...FIVE months after she dumped me. I could understand a little anger on the part of the dumper directly after the relationship ended, but the dumper's five months after a break up are vastly different than the dumpee's and I would imagine a lot easier to recover from. More important is why does it matter to you????????????????????????? Maybe he new boyfriend just dumped her, maybe her new boyfriend just knocked her up, maybe her new boyfriend just got her to do a threesome and now she is mad. Bottom line is you dont know why she is doing what she is doing and likely really don't want to know. But why are you doing what our doing? You were dumped, you should be focused on yourself, not trying to interpret her actions. Take this time to become a better stronger you.
TheLoneSock Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Who says the songs are about you? You could be assuming too much. It may very well be about the other guy.
Author onewillburn Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 (edited) That's all true, it's just that she says she hasn't been with anybody since me and doesn't want to be in a relationship with anybody for a long time. And the last time we spoke a few weeks ago, I told her never to talk to me again and she became hysterical. I don't know, it doesn't really matter I guess. Edited November 5, 2009 by onewillburn
groedy Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 If it makes you feel any better, same thing happened to me. Was dumped. I told her I wasn't for it, and would be around if she reconsidered, but that I would be looking to date other people. After a few wall posts from female friends that I reconnected and vented to (if she saw it, she likely thought I was dating around) she deletes her facebook account. Like everyone says, shouldn't care, but I don't like the fact that I get dumped and then am being portrayed as a jackass to her friends.
stace79 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I did something dumb tonight: I checked the ex's myspace profile. I just went and entered the URL out of some ancient, not unlearned habit that sprung out of nowhere. I thought it'd be private and I wouldn't see anything and it would be no big deal, so I didn't hit the stop button or X out right away. Apparently it's public now. There wasn't really anything of note on there. No comments from other guys, she's still single, etc. But what caught my attention was her playlist of songs. ALL of them are angry, "**** you, you broke my heart" type songs that you would expect the dumpee to have on his or her playlist. Her "mood" status was "fermented" (pissed off, basically). What the hell? Why the hell is she so angry when she's the one who left me and is basically living a much better life than I am at the moment? Why is she still single and not talking to guys? I was/am 99% sure there is somebody else in the picture, but there doesn't seem to be any trace of that. She's obviously not holding out for me because we got together 21 days ago and she outright told me it wouldn't work. I don't know. Never gonna check it again, because it stirs up too many questions. I feel like a weirdo for looking at it, anyway. I'm just confused about the anger on her part...FIVE months after she dumped me. I could understand a little anger on the part of the dumper directly after the relationship ended, but the dumper's five months after a break up are vastly different than the dumpee's and I would imagine a lot easier to recover from. Maybe the other person you thought was in the picture treated her as badly/worse than she treated you? Maybe she realized she was an idiot because she broke up with you for somebody who turned around and ditched her? Maybe she's just angry in general and has issues, and it has nothing to do with you at all?
Ronni_W Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 but the dumper's five months after a break up are vastly different than the dumpee's and I would imagine a lot easier to recover from. Yes, it is very easy to imagine that...but that doesn't make it necessarily true; not for dumpers in general or even other dumpees. Everyone's experience is unique. The songs could be triggering/touching on feelings she has about her childhood, best friend, teachers and caregivers, anything really. In any case, I was thinking in line with GrayClouds: What is compelling you to allow this bit of info that you dug up to feck with your mind?
Author onewillburn Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I understand where you guys are coming from. I don't really care anymore, I guess it just threw me off when I saw it. The reason I assumed the songs were about me was because she was still obviously mad at me the last time I spoke to her (a few weeks ago) and was literally grabbing at me and hitting me, screaming and crying as I left the car. I've always kind of thought she had issues (she was on anti-depressants for years before we dated and stopped taking them half way through our relationship), but she did a good job convincing me that I screwed her up. Now I'm just trying not to think about any of it.
TheLoneSock Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 That's all true, it's just that she says she hasn't been with anybody since me and doesn't want to be in a relationship with anybody for a long time. Lol and you believed that?
Author onewillburn Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 Lol and you believed that? Honestly, no, I didn't. And I don't...
jlr Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 The dumpers can have alot of anger. My ex does. She told me she doesn't love herself. She says she's a mess. She's visibly confused about everything. She isn't sure she made the right choice, but her pride prevents her from doing anything about it. So now it eats away at her. And sometimes, she'll try to blame me, as if it's MY fault she dumped me. There was a time when I let her do this. Not anymore. She broke MY heart, and now she has to deal with all these feelings she has about it. Maybe if the dumper was happy with their decision they might not show anger, but in a lot of situations, they still question their choice.
Author onewillburn Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 The dumpers can have alot of anger. My ex does. She told me she doesn't love herself. She says she's a mess. She's visibly confused about everything. She isn't sure she made the right choice, but her pride prevents her from doing anything about it. So now it eats away at her. And sometimes, she'll try to blame me, as if it's MY fault she dumped me. There was a time when I let her do this. Not anymore. She broke MY heart, and now she has to deal with all these feelings she has about it. Maybe if the dumper was happy with their decision they might not show anger, but in a lot of situations, they still question their choice. Yeah, definitely. The thing is, I broke up with her before she ever broke up with me and I think she was/is bitter about it, among other things. Though, in the end she's the one who dumped me and that's what matters most. Also, she knows I've been with other girls/have gotten in much better shape, etc. Our relationship kind of always leaned in my favor and she always said she felt like such a small thing next to me and I think it led to a certain kind of bitterness towards me. I don't know, it really doesn't matter. I saw something I shouldn't have. Whatever, time to keep moving on. I want to make it clear that I don't have any hope of us getting back together (other than the small little hope we all have that doesn't seem to fully go away) and this post was kind of a fluke. I don't care about it or her at this point. I just reacted off of my gut when I saw something on her page on little sleep. I honestly don't care about it anymore.
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