caseinpoint Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 What's the difference between a guy that plans a date (where to go, books a restaurant among others) and a guy that asks a girl's opinions or leaves it to her? Does it tell of his interest level or it's more based on his character?
Johnny M Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 What's the difference between a guy that plans a date (where to go, books a restaurant among others) and a guy that asks a girl's opinions or leaves it to her? Does it tell of his interest level or it's more based on his character? Character.
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I don't know... to me it seems that until she gets really comfortable around you and you're officially a couple etc. all dates should be planned. I think it'd be a huge turn off for me if I were a girl if we'd arrive at a restaurant and there'd be no hope to get a table because the guy didn't book it. Same goes pretty much for everything else on a date... P.S. I'm not a control freak - planning just shows that you care and that you're reliable as a man...
Author caseinpoint Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I don't know... to me it seems that until she gets really comfortable around you and you're officially a couple etc. all dates should be planned. I think it'd be a huge turn off for me if I were a girl if we'd arrive at a restaurant and there'd be no hope to get a table because the guy didn't book it. Same goes pretty much for everything else on a date... P.S. I'm not a control freak - planning just shows that you care and that you're reliable as a man... I'm a female. I'm trying to gauge a guy's interest. So you would do that because you like the girl or because you're just a reliable person?
Ruby Slippers Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 In my experience, a man who doesn't bother to come up with date ideas and make plans is not worth a woman's time.
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I like to plan dates I want her to have a good time and not be bored watching me scrambling franticly an alternative to the place I picked and which was fully booked. I think if everything goes smooth we can concentrate on each other and not on what and where we're gonna do now...
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Addendum: ...but that's just me + I come from the 'old world' so we do things a little bit different overthere...
DSM2709 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 My opinion is this, if you really like this person, you must have a plan. Every guy should have a plan, but also keep in mind the three elememts to dating...I'm still learning. Be Mysterious, Funny, and Confident. I'm going on my third date this weekend, and so far I have succeed, and she is coming out to my place and I believe she may be staying over.....so we will see. You gotta have a plan. If not, then it could be the demise to a potential good thing. Just my two cents.
Author caseinpoint Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 Addendum: ...but that's just me + I come from the 'old world' so we do things a little bit different overthere... I appreciate the old world. So that's to say a guy planning dates isn't indicative of his interest?
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I wouldn't generalize and extrapolate that the planning of a date correlates to guy's level of interest in you. But if it's obvious that a guy doesn't plan anything although he could it just says something about him as a person. I may give you clues about his attention to details, about his way of thinking and a general approach to life as it is, ergo about his character... Now, it's up to you to decide if you want to date this guy or if this lack of planning is something that bothers you.
Author caseinpoint Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I wouldn't generalize and extrapolate that the planning of a date correlates to guy's level of interest in you. But if it's obvious that a guy doesn't plan anything although he could it just says something about him as a person. I may give you clues about his attention to details, about his way of thinking and a general approach to life as it is, ergo about his character... Now, it's up to you to decide if you want to date this guy or if this lack of planning is something that bothers you. Oh no. The guys made plans and I appreciate them. I just don't know whether it's indicative.
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 If he made plans then everything is as it should be I think you can sometimes tell the level of interest by looking at what he's planned. FOr instance, if you mention that you like India and next time he surprises you with an evening at a nice quiet Indian restaurant - well you can tell that he's interested. But if he takes you out to a stake house instead that doesn't mean he's no interest in you...
aerogurl87 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 What's the difference between a guy that plans a date (where to go, books a restaurant among others) and a guy that asks a girl's opinions or leaves it to her? Does it tell of his interest level or it's more based on his character? I don't think it tells his interest level because my boyfriend always asks my opinion on where to go and doesn't believe in "planning ahead" for dates, so things are always done in the moment with us. When we go out to eat, it's where we want to eat at that moment since he doesn't believe in planning these things in advance. But that's just him, and as far as I know his interest level is pretty high. So I guess it would be more of what his character is, although that when you try to correlate the two (not planning dates to his character) it seems to imply that his character isn't good due to the negative correlation. So yeah...
Author caseinpoint Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 If he made plans then everything is as it should be I think you can sometimes tell the level of interest by looking at what he's planned. FOr instance, if you mention that you like India and next time he surprises you with an evening at a nice quiet Indian restaurant - well you can tell that he's interested. But if he takes you out to a stake house instead that doesn't mean he's no interest in you... LOL. The most recent ones didn't ask what I liked but suggested the restaurants and made plans after I said I was OK with the choices. I like the take-charge attitude. It's just difficult to say whether they're just the take-charge sort of guys or they did that because of their interest in me.
Author caseinpoint Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I don't think it tells his interest level because my boyfriend always asks my opinion on where to go and doesn't believe in "planning ahead" for dates, so things are always done in the moment with us. When we go out to eat, it's where we want to eat at that moment since he doesn't believe in planning these things in advance. But that's just him, and as far as I know his interest level is pretty high. So I guess it would be more of what his character is, although that when you try to correlate the two (not planning dates to his character) it seems to imply that his character isn't good due to the negative correlation. So yeah... So in general, a date planner is better than someone who doesn't.
Lakeside_runner Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Well, in that case I wouldn't look for clues about his level of interest there. I think you can probably tell more about it from how he acts around you on dates.
Vertex Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Depends. Some guys would prefer asking what the girl wants in order to give her a say. Others like to plan and take more control. If anything, I think it's indicative of a more passive/assertive/aggressive character style than an interest level. However, if someone comes across as apathetic, then that would probably imply disinterest.
BG1985 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 There was another thread similar to this earlier, I think it had to do with the seven mistakes shy guys make with girls. Guys should always have places in mind because just about every girl I know cannot make up her mind to save her life. It's actually a rather stressful situation. I almost feel like it's a test or something. It's no different from going shopping with a girl or being around her while she's getting dressed to go out.
aerogurl87 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 So in general, a date planner is better than someone who doesn't. It depends. If he's a complete control freak who plans any and everything you will do on your dates, leaving no wiggle room for spontaneity then no. But in my case my boyfriend is very passive for the most part when it comes to where we go for dates because as he puts it "he's happy as long as he's with me" and he "just wants to see me happy" so we go and do what I want to do and for the most part he just goes along with it. At the same time, my boyfriend also surprises me by getting me things or taking me places he remembers I really like. Like when he made a quick pit stop to the mall after dinner, 20 minutes before it closed (although he hates the mall and shopping) because he remembered it was the last day for me to get my free chocolate for the month and I hadn't gotten it yet (although I had forgot all about it). And I'd rather have a guy like that than one who was a complete and utter control freak. But having a guy plan dates is nice, although in my book it's not really an iron clad requirement.
BG1985 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Being able to plan dates yourself without the girl's input allows you to show her that you are capable of making your own decisions and don't have to defer to her wants/needs. You appear less needy.
Vertex Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I can tell you from experience that control freaks are frustratingly stubborn. However, on the other side of the coin, it's tiring to always be making the decisions if the other person never has an opinion. It's more fun if both people are actively involved in making decisions.
aerogurl87 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 I can tell you from experience that control freaks are frustratingly stubborn. However, on the other side of the coin, it's tiring to always be making the decisions if the other person never has an opinion. It's more fun if both people are actively involved in making decisions. I agree, but I like making most of the decisions for where my boyfriend and I go out too. If it were left up to him we'd only go out to steakhouses for dinner and then it'd be straight back to his place to hang out for the rest of the night ALL the time. So for me, usually deciding where to go and what to do, with a bit of his input works out for the best for the most part.
BG1985 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 For me, it's not about being a control freak, but a guy should always have plans set up. If the girl REALLY wants to do something else, then that's cool. Typically, the girl has no clue/opinion on what the plans should be for the evening.
Devil Inside Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 What I wonder is what it makes you feel. If the planner makes you feel something...and that is what you want...then go for that guy. Personally..for me..if I like a woman I make more of an effort.
BG1985 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Just go where you want to go, and if the girl likes it, wonderful. If not, screw her; you'll find others who have similar tastes.
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