lilbelle Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 you get the drift. Woke up to a Dave Matthews song we actually had sung together. I have never jumped out of bed so quick to turn the alarm clock off. Had a break down and then looked in the mirror and told myself over and over I'm worthy of so much more. Drove to cincy today for an interview which I nailed and that felt great but that's his hometown so as you can imagine all these emotions and memories came back. Finally can listen to music but it's mostly angry stuff, linkin park, nin, the like. So I'm pretty over it I think although I tell myself that every freakin day. I did meet someone today who had alot to offer but I am nowhere ready to even date. I can hardly eat much less have to carry a conversation. I'm usually a social butterfly and have found that I just want to sit at home, dwell in my memories, stare at the tv, clean stuff. Lots of texts from all my friends wondering where the hell I am and I just tell them all I have the flu. Sucks lying to them but I really don't want to talk to anyone about any of this. I guess the one thing that is really bugging me today is the words that his heart belongs to someone else and I will never have it. It's not so much that I don't understand what he means it's the fact that he had a choice to leave me alone after the first break up. He should have left me alone. It would have been so much easier. Instead he comes back and acts like everything is great. WTF???? I am dumbfounded and then the silent treatment really got to me. I have never been through that and the scar it leaves is incredible. I think I know how to quit the ST though. At least it worked in this case. I ended it with him. I mean I had to. The silence was unbearable and then he claimed he didn't get my texts... I thinks he forgets I have an MBA and I tagged the damn text so when he opened it I know he read it. It was just insult to my intelligence and I had to have some dignity back so I told him I was done and he was disrespectful. Instead of a reply that was anywhere near what an adult would send he wants to call the cops on me for texting him. UNREAL. I have learned this, I don't know why these people are so emotionally inept and I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure it out. All I know is I will never give the silent treatment. It is abusive as far as I'm concerned and just prolongs the breakup. Just get it over with and let each other move on. Quit being a boy and be a man.
USMCHokie Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 And that's why we go through this...so that after all the hurt and pain, we LEARN the lesson from all of it...so that we either (1) make the next one that much better or (2) identify that the next one is a similar situation and avoid repeating the mistakes and having to deal with all the pain that comes with it...
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