theraven Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Ok here's my deal. I'll try and make it as short and sweet as possible. I'll start off by saying I'm a senior in high school. I dated this girl for 2+ years. We just recently broke up about a month ago. I know I'm only a senior in high school, but I honest to God though I was going to marry her. And she thought the same thing. We had an AMAZING relationship. We were very happy together. At the beginning of September, we were better than ever! We talked about marriage and everything. All of a sudden, she started acting weird and said she wanted to go on a break. That lasted for a week, then we officially broke up. I am heart-broken. I want her back SO bad! I cry probably every night. I don't know what to do. She tells me that she just isn't happy right now and isn't ready to get back together. She tells me that she still loves me the same and still wants to marry me and still feels like we are meant to be. I definitely feel like we are meant to be, but I want to be with her NOW and for the REST OF MY LIFE! I don't want to wait till later to be with her. What should I do? I WANT to get back together soon, and live happily ever after. But that's not gonna happen. I'm scared to think that we are going to get back together within the next year or two, but end up not and me just giving my hopes up. So what I want to do is just try and get over her. But I don't know how to do that. I've tried to hang out with my friends a lot. I've tried to be with another girl. But it doesnt work! All I can think about is her... So any advice on how I can get over her? I don't want to sit here on the weekends and wonder if she is with another guy or anything like that. But it's impossible. Any advice? And also, do you think there is anyway we would get back together sooner? Maybe in the middle of college? Maybe after college? Or not at all? I know for a FACT that the love she had for me was REAL! And we were so happy together. What happened? She tells me that she is happy right now and that's why she doesn't want to be together. Why isn't she happy when she is with me anymore?! It doesn't make any sense. I'm so hurt. I have so many questions going through my head right now. I'm confused. Please, any help at all would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, The Raven
name witheld Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Maybe she changed, or you did. She saw that and her feelings for you changed. Talk of still wanting to get back together might just be out of comfort. Could be wrong like, maybe she just got scared and needs space! Either way, if you love her give her what she wants. keep going out and keep hanging out with other girls, you might even meet somebody more amazing. Try not to let her know about it as if she does come back you want to know it is genuine and not just out of jealousy.
murphomatic Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Hey Raven - sorry to hear that your heart is hurting... seems like it never hurts more then when you're in your teens and it gets broken. I think as you get older, you learn to deal with that hurt a little better, shield and guard yourself more carefully, but when you're young - it's so raw and painful. Here's the thing ... It sounds like your girl's perspective has changed. As hard and callous as it may seem - you have to let her go. You cannot make someone come back and love you. If she comes back for the wrong reasons, it will just be a life of misery. Fill your time with your hobbies and friends. Do the things you enjoy doing...especially the things that you didn't get to do so much while you were with this girl. There are always various hobbies and habits that get thrown by the wayside to support the existence of another person in your life ... resurrect those and enjoy your solo time. It can be done, and you will become more of a self-sufficient and confident person as a result....and this may eventually attract someone even better. People are going to come and go in your life - and especially as you move on from high school and into college or the working sector - you're going to meet so many new people, and your perspective on people and relationships is going to change DRASTICALLY over the next decade. I'll destroy the mystery here - this kind of thing is going to happen to you several more times over the years. You'll learn a little bit from each instance and person, and that will all weave together with other aspects of your life to form who you'll become as a person. Live your life and NEVER put it on hold for someone else. Like another post in this thread said - you may find someone even more amazing than this one. The kind of people you'll attract in your life will largely depend on who you become as a person - so don't hurt yourself over this. Grow and become an awesome man. Happiness will find you as you move through the years, providing that you've focused on building yourself up. Who knows? It may be just around the next corner. Don't sell yourself short! You WILL hurt for a little bit ... but it will ease with each day, hour, or minute that passes. There's no magic incantation to make it just go away... you have to allow yourself to grieve over the loss...but like I said above, don't let it put your life on hold or restrict your growth in any way. You have a fresh start now. Use it to your advantage!
GrayClouds Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 it sucks sorry to hear about your break-up, The best thing to do now is get busy hit the gym, learn how to play the guitar, hang out with the boys, go make a movie, do something that you have alwas wanted to try, skyjumping? and exersise some more, it really helps with the over thinking. Finally read this and follow it, it will help: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/
Author theraven Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 Man, that link really helped! I appreciate all the replies. I want to do NC cause I feel like it will definitely help. Me talking to her just makes me feel like there's a chance we are gonna get back together, but she obviously broke up with me for a reason. But here's the question: We go to the same school and we actually park next to eachother (we did this on purpose cause I didn't know she was gonna break up with me a month into school) AND I have one class with her, were I sit right behind her :/ And also, how do I start NC? Do I tell her that I'm not gonna be talking to her anymore and tell her why, or do I just all of a sudden stop talking to her?
GrayClouds Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 Be polite, just don't initiate conversation. I you do have to talk to her make it sort and to the point, but again be polite. NC is not about punishing her but helping yourself get to a better place. Likely at some point she will question your behavior and ask why your not talking to her like before, just tell her that your just taking care of yourself.
Lamak Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 The best way to initiate NC when you see your ex on a regular basis is to stay busy. Avoid the temptation to talk to her in class or on the way to your car. Don't small talk with her, period. If you must, give a hello and keep moving. Also, don't announce that you're going NC, because it's about your healing, not hers.
Recommended Posts