Ilovecake Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 What a wonderful thing. I'm amazed (and a little embarrassed) looking back at things I wrote just a few months a go and what a mess I was. I could hardly breathe, or leave the house or feed myself every day because I was so heart broken. I almost lost my job, I got physically ill, I even lost my best friend because she couldn't take being around me anymore. I couldn’t fathom life without this man. Now all I can think is what a total tool my ex is and how he's not even remotely good enough for me. There is absolutely no specific reason behind my change of heart besides time and lack of contact. I’m not dating anyone else, I didn’t have an epiphany, I didn’t talk to somebody who had all the answers, I didn’t win the lotto, it just sort of happened I don’t really even know when or how. The brain is a wonderful thing, it will not allow you to wallow forever, with or without you it will start to forget the old and replace it with new memories. I love being in that stage where I’m starting to cringe thinking that I ever dated this guy. All of a sudden he's trying to get my attention because he feels my new found power and I could care less. I feel absolute strength and freedom. I can’t wait till all the people here who are feeling the way I was a few months a go reach this stage. It’s wonderful and it really is possible to feel OK again if you just allow it to happen. If I could get out of the horrible depression I was in anyone here can too.
AliveAndKicking Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 And wouldn't ya know that this amazing awesome inspiring post was sinking to the bottom like a stone.... Fantastic post indeed! I too journal and have for a very long time. I just burned the past year onto CD andput it in my safe. If my safe ever gets burgled those sorry criminals are gonna be SO bummed when they get inside! They'll be thinking there is a bunch of money or jewels HaHA! Little do they know that there IS a VERY valuable thing in there. But it is only valuable to me (or anyone who would like to have me institutionalized for life!). It is funny and sure makes you feel both silly as well as good when you are outside of the pain, look back, maybe read your old journal, and realize just what an absolute loser you ex was/is! I'm SO glad I caught this post as I have been getting blast after blast of just how lucky I am to have gotten away from my ex and the extent what a mess she really is. To anyone who read this: If you don't journal start. Do it any way you want. I just use a text file and try to write at least a little something each day. Some days I crank out 20-30 pages- depends on what is going on. Some days not much more than the date and nothing more. But it has been my saving grace many times both in and out of a relationship. I've learned a lot writing to me. Try it- you'll like it! Like you, ilovecake, if I can get out of my depression and hopelssness ANYONE can! Thanks for your awesome post!
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