Ultiman Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I feel good right now for some reason i feel happy and good. Even though i just lost the love of my life, the person i was with for 3 years, about 12 days ago I feel like this is such a great opportunity to focus on myself and improve. I also managed to quit drugs that same day which could be why i feel so relieved. But i know that the drop can come at any moment and i dont want it to so bad. I want her back so badly but i dont want to be sad anymore. I spent the majority of my relationship with her borderline depressed because of my drug addiction. She kept me happy while the drugs brought me down now its reversed she bringing me down while the lack of drugs are making me happy. I know the drop can come at any moment but i dont want to be sad anymore no matter how painful it is to lose her im so sick and tired of being sad.
Odyssey Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 (edited) Nobody said it's gonna be easy. Take one day at a time man. By the way, why did she break up with you? (You don't have answer if you don't want to). Edited November 4, 2009 by Odyssey
Author Ultiman Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Nobody said it's gonna be easy. Take one day at a time man. By the way, why did she break up with you? (You don't have answer if you don't want to). Lying, lazyness, lack of drive, lack of assertion, i was becoming unattractive all because of drug use.
angelface78 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Please dont do drugs. Nothing good can come of it. You are destroying your body and eventually your life. Take this opportunity to better yourself and show her how great you can be!!! Show her what a winner you are...if only she wouldve had a little more faith in you. Just keep moving forward ....life is about upgrading.
AliveAndKicking Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 You have a very realistic attitude. Good for you! It is indeed a rollercoaster for a while. The fact that you know that it's probably gonna be a dicey hairy gives you an adge- awesome! Since you know the highs aren't gonna last forever what are you doing to prepare for the lows? Have a plan. Get your ducks in a row so that if the day comes you feel down and maybe feel like using you won't be blindsided- you'll be ready. For me the ups and downs were exhausting- it felt like it was never gonna stop and I was never gonna catch a break. It really got to me and I let it steamroll me for a while. Thankfully I pulled myself out of it. If I'd have had a plan I think it woudl have been much easier. Stay clean, prepare, and share your wisdom with us when you feel like it. Hang tough and take care okay? Alrighty then!
Author Ultiman Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I have kept the thought of using completely out of my mind. It feels like the shock of losing her has completely derailed it from my mindset. I kno though to be careful as carelessness can lead to a relapse. My depression sadness and anger though from losing her came back about an hour ago in which i broke down in front of my mom crying and in so much pain. I just wish she could see me right now and how much ive changed and how much more I am willing to do....
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