buzzie2 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I recently posted about a guy from work that I had asked out. Well it turned out that this guy already had a gf but he still gave me his phone number and said we should hang out. I didn't think it would be appropriate but didn't tell him this so I just never called him. Well the other day at work he walked right in front of me, stopped and then pulled out his blackberry and started texting someone right in front of me! He never said hi or anything and just ignored me. Why do you guys think that he would do this?
bbf Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I don't get it. Do you mean he walked up to you like he was going to start a conversation with you, started texting, and then walked away? That sounds really weird.
Author buzzie2 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 No- I don't think he was going to start a conversation with me- what he did was walk right up to where I was working, then stopped right in front of me but not facing me and then pulled out his blackberry. He knew that he was standing right in front of me and never even acknowlegded me!
TaraMaiden Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 He's slighting you. How could you reject him? how offensive! well, take that! Hah! Two can play at that game! You snub me - I'll snub you! Best way to deal with ignorance at this level, is to ignore it.
Author buzzie2 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 So should I talk to him the next time I see him and just explain why I never called him? It's because he said that he had a gf- or should I just not say anything at all?
tryagaintoday Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 So should I talk to him the next time I see him and just explain why I never called him? It's because he said that he had a gf- or should I just not say anything at all? not say anything at all.
bbf Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 (edited) I don't think he's offended. He already has a girlfriend and you were the one that asked him out. At what point would that make him feel rejected? He's probably just confused and trying to figure out what's going on since you didn't even explain why you're not talking to him. He's trying to get your attention to see if you'll talk to him or if you're ignoring him. Edited November 4, 2009 by bbf
crazy_grl Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I had the same thought as bbf. He may have been stopping and hoping you'd talk to him. He was on the blackberry so he wasn't just standing there doing nothing. But I wouldn't talk to him either way. Not a good sign that he'd give out his number to a girl who's interested in him while he has a gf... unless the relationship is coming to an end, but I wouldn't assume that was the situation. There's more of a chance that he's just willing to talk to other girls behind his woman's back. If you do happen to hear shortly that he's no longer in a relationship, then you might consider talking to him. Unless that happens, just don't bother. You don't need to explain to him why you haven't contacted him.
torranceshipman Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 He was hoping you'd talk to him. This, coupled with the giving out his phone number when he has a GF, suggests that he might be a bit of an ego-freak/attention seeker or is insecure and needs girls to show interest in him a lot (and if they don't, he pulls out the crappy social skills of his to make you feel slighted for 'ignoring' him). Being completely generous, maybe he always had friendly intentions, but if this is the case his social skills still suck! I wouldn't waste time thinking about it. If you are really bothered, strike up a friendly convo at some point and see if he reciprocates: you might end up with a cool work friendship, or he might blank you in which case he is a loser and no loss I wouldn't EVER consider going down the dating route with this guy though-he sounds like he'd be a jerk to date.
crazy_grl Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Lacking social skills doesn't make someone a jerk. I know people who have bad social skills, but are nice people. I actually find that most jerks have great social skills. They just choose when and where to use them. I don't think there was necessarily any slight intended. There may have been, but it's hard to know without knowing the guy's personality. I can picture a situation where he's a not jerk. If he's kind of shy, really liked buzzie and just broke up with his gf, he might have been hanging around hoping she'd talk to him first, afraid to approach her since she hadn't called him. He gave buzzie his number knowing that his current relationship was on the way out. BUT I think the stars have to align perfectly for that to be the case, and isn't the most likely. That's why I say don't talk to him unless you happen hear in the near future that he no longer has a gf. (And don't go out of you way to find out.) Just forget about him and don't worry about why he did that or anything else.
BCCA Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I dont get why you arent talking to this guy. He hasnt done anything mean or hurtful to you. You asked him out, he explained he had a gf but wouldnt mind hanging out platonically, and all the women here are acting like he is the worst form of scum for some reason. Why is it that you cant be at least friendly at work, I dont get it. Your just being a spoiled brat because you cant have what you want with him, and so youre trying to punish him by ignoring him. Whats the point of that? What will that accomplish? You think if he and his gf broke up hes going to want to talk to the girl who ignored him for being an honest guy?
Author buzzie2 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Well the main reason that I'm not talking to him is that I'm not sure excactly what I would say to him. I am still embarrassed over the whole thing. Also remember I'm not the only person ignoring him- he was ignoring me too. I was hoping that he would have started talking to me first. Why should I always have to be the one to start talking to him? I'm a very friendly and approachable person so I don't know why he couldn't have just said hi when he stopped in front of me.
BCCA Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I'm a very friendly and approachable person so I don't know why he couldn't have just said hi when he stopped in front of me. You could have just as easily said hi, too. The onus is not on him to approach you because the last time you spoke he mentioned the gf. Honestly, I know you are embarrased, but the faster you can just get past it and pretend like its not a big deal, the faster this will all blow over. Youre just keeping the wounds fresh this way by not dealing with them. He probably doesnt know what to say any more than you do, and he probably feels like youre mad at him for having a gf (which to some extent, you are). The easiest way to get past this, especially for the sake of having a healthy working enviroment, is to just let it go. You went for it, and he was taken. Happens to the best of us. If you didnt work with the guy, sure, ignore him. But since you do, I would try and make it as un-awkward as humanly possible sooner than later.
Author buzzie2 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 I would also like to add that I was the one that did all of the chasing and always was the person who started talking to him. He never really put much of an effort into getting to know me as I did with him. I went against all my gut instincts and principles. I usually follow the books such as the rules and he's just not into you. Now I know that chasing after a guy that is not that into you is never a good idea. I learned my lesson and I will never ask out a guy ever again unless he's actually showing that he's into me.
BCCA Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 He never really put much of an effort into getting to know me as I did with him. That should have been your first clue that the interst wasnt mutual. It sounds more and more like you misinterpreted his being friendly for interest, which is really not anyones fault. I usually follow the books such as the rules and he's just not into you Dont. Those books are stupid and promote game playing and looking for ultra interest before making a move. Just listen to your HEAD and not your heart. I learned my lesson and I will never ask out a guy ever again unless he's actually showing that he's into me If us guys gave up trying after one rejection, 90% of the planet would be single. You tried, pat yoursef on the back for that, but nothing in life is always going to work out like you had hoped. Dont get so down on yourself.
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