soheartbroken Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I'll tell my story. I know most of us have had these types of issues. When the breakup first happened, I vented a lot to one friend that I thought I could trust. She knew both of us but was more my friend. More of an acquaintance of the ex. To make a long story short, this "friend" is apparently not speaking to me anymore, and is posting status updates with my ex's name in them, mentioning how great a time they had. I feel so betrayed. I'm not going to confront the "friend", because I don't want to create drama. I deactivated FB. But this betrayal has been a huge setback, plus the confirmation that my ex is having a blast without me. I'm so pissed, and anxiety is skyrocketing thinking of what they are saying about me, why the "friend" is not talking to me etc. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I guess I trusted the wrong person. Please share your friend stories. How do you get over the betrayal? Do the intense feelings just blow over eventually?
mickleb Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Hey shb So sorry to hear about this horrible, addditional pain you are being subjected to. A year after I split up with a very S.O. (when I was younger) my 'best friend' started going out with him. She didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face. I travelled 200 miles to see him (I moved to a different city a few months after the split) and was staying at her house. It was his birthday and lots of our mutual friends and I attended a camping party in the country. I had no idea what was going on until for hours until she revealed lots of expensive presents for him and then they left, in front of me, holding hands, to go to their tent to spend the night together! I was left, trying to sleep in front of the fire, feeling very betrayed and confused. At the time, I tried to remain friends with her. I figured it was a year since the split and, despite my major feelings for him still (I was young!), thought I couldn't blame her, as such. It didn't work out with them or for my 'friend' and me. It was, actually, when she was splitting up with him that I decided I couldn't be bothered anymore. (She was telling me how painful it all was for her and just lacked the empathy I gave her credit for.) If she had moved in on him sooner, I don't know how I would have coped. It was bad enough a year on and when I'd moved so far away. She tried to keep in touch with me and I just let it slide. She contacted me via fbook, recently and went overboard about how pleased she was to have 'found me'. She was a hindrance more than a help when she learnt about my recent break-up, however. Just banged on about how happy she was in her marriage! It was as though she was 'punishing' me for rejecting her. Who knows? I certainly don't care anymore. Some people are wrapped up in themselves. Maybe they're unable to change. Maybe your ex is a bit like this, too? I hope you have some very supportive friends to support you through this. You don't need people like her or him in your life. You really don't. Let go of her as you know you must with him. You may actually find it easier to get over him, knowing he is as callous as she is. I hope so. Thinking of you. Take care. x
HeavenOrHell Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 OMG! What a heartless b****! I had a group of female friends who I introduced to my now ex years ago and since we split they don't bother with me anymore and one of them (who he used to fancy) said she cant say to me that she's sure nothing will ever happen with her and my ex!! But they are giving him loads of support while I'm stuck at home most evenings, it has made all this much harder than it already was.
mickleb Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 With friends like these. It's a sh*tter, being let down by your friends. It's happened to me a few times (not all in this way, though.) It IS at times like this you realise who you should hang onto. Not always who you expected: the flip side of this can be that people you didn't have high expectations of can through in amazing ways. Stay strong, ladies. May you walker taller through the streets of skanky hoes!
Author soheartbroken Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 Some friends are great in the beginning, earn your trust, and then pull this **** a few weeks later. Just another big hurdle on the road to recovery. As per your advice MickleB, I am letting go - or doing my best to - of the betrayal. HoH - sorry about your situation. How are you doing lately? I read one of your threads lately and you were in quite the struggle.
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