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Overconrolling Parents that hate boyfriend.


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Posted

Im 14 and I have been dating this guy for 3 weeks. I didnt want to tell my parents because they don't like this guy because of us working on a project last year that he didnt turn in so we failed it. I made it up though so everything should've been fine it wasnt. My sister found out somehow and told my parents and they said I could never talk text date or see him again. I was heartbroken they didnt even know him and my dad had also figured he only wanted me as a grirlfriend for one thing, but its not true. So I decided to sneak out one day and go to his house. We didnt do anything inaproppriate at all we played with his siblings all younger one girl and two boys. We played guitar hero, hide and seek, football, and watched Transformers 2. Well, somehow my parents find out I'm over here so my mom comes over at 2 oclock on sunday. I had only been there for 3 hours by the way. She takes me home and my parents take my cellphone and return it to Sprint. They ground me from t.v. going outside ipod phone gaming system computer (I sneaked on) basically everything but isolation and books in my room. I'm grounded til at least christmas, and my boyfriend who recently turned fifteen goes to a different highschool so I cant even see him or talk to him :(. I love him and I hate how my parents are so strict and wont let me live my life. any advice on what I should tell them, and also some advice to get out of this 2 month grounding from just about everything?

Posted

You're 14. Your parents own you until you're 18. Get used to it. :p

Posted
I love him and I hate how my parents are so strict and wont let me live my life. any advice on what I should tell them, and also some advice to get out of this 2 month grounding from just about everything?

 

Okay, first off: not to be harsh, but no, you don't "love" him. Love isn't just a feeling. It's a complicated relationship between two people that requires deep mutual understanding. Real love develops over an extended period of time through shared adversity (and no, getting grounded doesn't count).

 

Although I think your parents went overboard, the fact remains that you are not entitled to "live your life" as you see fit. You're a girl, not a woman. Think about your behavior in handling this situation thus far: It's been immature! And you talk about wanting to "live your life!" If you want real agency, then you need to start acting like an adult. If you really want to build a long term relationship with this boy, you need to first make your parents feel comfortable placing trust in you by becoming more responsible yourself.

 

Don't worry about the BF. If he "loves you" then his ardor will survive a few weeks of you being grounded. ;)

Posted

When your 18 and have the same problem, then you will have legitimate reason to be pissed off. I know it's hard to understand that now, but maybe your parents see something in him that you don't. My dad thought my first real boyfriend was a jerk and guess what? He turned out to be right. So not saying your parents are right, but maybe they do have legitimate concerns.

Posted
Im 14 and I have been dating this guy for 3 weeks. I didnt want to tell my parents because they don't like this guy because of us working on a project last year that he didnt turn in so we failed it. I made it up though so everything should've been fine it wasnt. My sister found out somehow and told my parents and they said I could never talk text date or see him again. I was heartbroken they didnt even know him and my dad had also figured he only wanted me as a grirlfriend for one thing, but its not true. So I decided to sneak out one day and go to his house. We didnt do anything inaproppriate at all we played with his siblings all younger one girl and two boys. We played guitar hero, hide and seek, football, and watched Transformers 2. Well, somehow my parents find out I'm over here so my mom comes over at 2 oclock on sunday. I had only been there for 3 hours by the way. She takes me home and my parents take my cellphone and return it to Sprint. They ground me from t.v. going outside ipod phone gaming system computer (I sneaked on) basically everything but isolation and books in my room. I'm grounded til at least christmas, and my boyfriend who recently turned fifteen goes to a different highschool so I cant even see him or talk to him :(. I love him and I hate how my parents are so strict and wont let me live my life. any advice on what I should tell them, and also some advice to get out of this 2 month grounding from just about everything?

 

Unfortunately, you kind of poisoned the waters by lying to your parents and sneaking out. I suspect the real problem isn't the guy per se, but your showing them they cannot trust you. Sorry, but they are within their rights.

Posted (edited)
Im 14 and I have been dating this guy for 3 weeks. I didnt want to tell my parents because they don't like this guy because of us working on a project last year that he didnt turn in so we failed it. I made it up though so everything should've been fine it wasnt. My sister found out somehow and told my parents and they said I could never talk text date or see him again. I was heartbroken they didnt even know him and my dad had also figured he only wanted me as a grirlfriend for one thing, but its not true. So I decided to sneak out one day and go to his house. We didnt do anything inaproppriate at all we played with his siblings all younger one girl and two boys. We played guitar hero, hide and seek, football, and watched Transformers 2. Well, somehow my parents find out I'm over here so my mom comes over at 2 oclock on sunday. I had only been there for 3 hours by the way. She takes me home and my parents take my cellphone and return it to Sprint. They ground me from t.v. going outside ipod phone gaming system computer (I sneaked on) basically everything but isolation and books in my room. I'm grounded til at least christmas, and my boyfriend who recently turned fifteen goes to a different highschool so I cant even see him or talk to him :(. I love him and I hate how my parents are so strict and wont let me live my life. any advice on what I should tell them, and also some advice to get out of this 2 month grounding from just about everything?

 

Geesh, technology spoils you kids these days! Come on, use your imagination for goodness sakes. :p

 

*Cough* Write him a letter or send him an email!

 

However, be careful of your computer as your parents (being so strict) might have key loggers or parental controls active.

Edited by Javelin
Posted

Yea sucks to be underaged.. For now, unfortunately you have to go by the rules.. but once turn 18 then you can finally live your own life....

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