Jaspe_Loco Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 A buddy of mine that's been married a couple of years is an extremely jealous and probably a bit insecure. He alway snooping through his wife's stuff even though I don't think she would ever cheat on him. I've never been a jealous person nor do I snoop... even when I've suspected something and the opportunity presented itself... just not my nature. Anyway, he snooped through her emails and found this email from a guy and her reply. Him Damn, it was great to see you the other day! I hope we can talk more. Her (W) Hey! I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon, if at all actually! I’m glad I did! I think we could find something to talk about!! So what have you been doing over the past few years?! My first reaction was dude, you shouldn't be snooping... it looks innocent enough to me. Looks like she just ran into an old friend. He came down hard on me saying that I lack perspective since my marriage is crap. I even thought to myself that if I somehow ran across an email like this from my MW that it wouldn't bother me. I told him to have the balls to admit that he snooped and was concerned about it or let it go. But as I thought about it throughout the day, I started second guessing myself. Maybe I'm not normal. Would other guys think this is something to address or worry about? Maybe there's something dysfunctional about me because I wouldn't worry about it. What do you think?
RedDevil66 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 It's all innocent. How does he get into her email? Does she know he snoops?
Author Jaspe_Loco Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 It's all innocent. How does he get into her email? Does she know he snoops? Keyloggers. I don't think so, but I'd love to tell her... but I won't.
RedDevil66 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Keyloggers. I don't think so, but I'd love to tell her... but I won't. Ekkk! I kelogged my BF, but only once. He doesn't live with me and I told him right away. If he does it all the time, he's pretty messed in the head.
Author Jaspe_Loco Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Ekkk! I kelogged my BF, but only once. He doesn't live with me and I told him right away. If he does it all the time, he's pretty messed in the head. I agree. I could understand the temptation to some degree, especially if the person was acting really suspicious, but just to do because you can, not good. Besides, dad always told me that if you look for ****, you'll find ****. I've tried to talk with him about it and he just throws up my marriage and the fact that my W cheated on me several times. But you know, if someone is going to cheat on you, they'll find a way to do it. I guess the one thing he said to me that stung a little was that if I had been a little more jealous, maybe she wouldn't have cheated on me. I guess that way I was starting to think I may have a wrong perspective. Anyway, I would like to more opinions from guys and girls.
seibert253 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Seems fairly innocent. My question, has she told her husband about "reuniting" with this old friend? If she hasn't or doesn't, I'd think I'd keep an eye to see if it progresses like I think it may. If the tone of the emails change, well then I'd slam that door shut very quickly.
Author Jaspe_Loco Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Seems fairly innocent. My question, has she told her husband about "reuniting" with this old friend? If she hasn't or doesn't, I'd think I'd keep an eye to see if it progresses like I think it may. If the tone of the emails change, well then I'd slam that door shut very quickly. As of this morning, she hasn't told him. Seeing how jealous he is, I could understand why she wouldn't. So you think he should keep snooping on her?
ADF Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 A buddy of mine that's been married a couple of years is an extremely jealous and probably a bit insecure. He alway snooping through his wife's stuff even though I don't think she would ever cheat on him. I've never been a jealous person nor do I snoop... even when I've suspected something and the opportunity presented itself... just not my nature. Anyway, he snooped through her emails and found this email from a guy and her reply. Him Her (W) My first reaction was dude, you shouldn't be snooping... it looks innocent enough to me. Looks like she just ran into an old friend. He came down hard on me saying that I lack perspective since my marriage is crap. I even thought to myself that if I somehow ran across an email like this from my MW that it wouldn't bother me. I told him to have the balls to admit that he snooped and was concerned about it or let it go. But as I thought about it throughout the day, I started second guessing myself. Maybe I'm not normal. Would other guys think this is something to address or worry about? Maybe there's something dysfunctional about me because I wouldn't worry about it. What do you think? Your friend needs to stop snooping and confront his wife directly with his suspicions. Snooping isn't clever, it is cowardly. If he is suspicious enough to snoop, he should be brave enough to talk to her like an adult.
seibert253 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 As of this morning, she hasn't told him. Seeing how jealous he is, I could understand why she wouldn't. So you think he should keep snooping on her? So what's gonna happen when he does find out, then compound this with the fact she hid this from him? Not going to be good. If she tells him, yea he's gonna be upset, jealous, but it she will lay a foundation of honesty. Then she can address his jealousy issues. Your friend will better be able to see his jealouly issues and how sensless they are, if he has a wife who is trustworthy and honest.
imagine Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 A spouse should be jealous. We are all wired to cheat - it is our choice NOT to do so. If you are concerned about your marriage you would protect it. Absolute honesty is the best way. Trust your other half but ensure that nothing is going on. It is much harder to stop a fully developed EA/PA. Snooping is not a disorder, it is a managerial function.
Author Jaspe_Loco Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 She set him up... I love it!!!
Chrome Barracuda Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 So this was all a test??? Or was she starting to sow the seeds to cheat??? I mean marriage isnt a game why is she testng him, that's that immature crap I cant stand!
Author Jaspe_Loco Posted November 13, 2009 Author Posted November 13, 2009 I agree that marriage isn't a game, but his jealously was more than most would tolerate. From what he's told me the last few days, she had tried to talk with him about it, but he'd never listen... I know this much from our previous conversations. She did it to get his attention and it seems it worked. He said that he is going to try to be more understanding. I don't blame her.
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