dashing daisy Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I said I missed him. He said he missed me too but we "have" to get over each other. Bad idea...
AliveAndKicking Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Don't beat yourself up too much. Maybe a little but don't leave any marks ;-) "Bad idea" doesn't tell me so much. Why was it a bad idea? What led up to the contact? What happens next time you are heading in that direction? Details! I want details! Obviously you learned from this one, huh? Now get back up on that pony and ride into the sunset. Hang in there!
Author dashing daisy Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 I saw him online and I said hi... Why is harder. Part of me doesn't want to get over him... I just kind of want things to be back the way they were. Anyway it was a bad idea because when we started talking he kept bringing up things we did together...which I don't ever do. And I was like oh, I don't really remember that...and he kept saying specific things to remind me of that time...so then I said I guess I just tried to forget some stuff. And he said I would never want to do that, but I wish I did some things differently. I asked him what, and he said of course he wishes he never would have broken up with me. Then he said he thought I was the love of his life, and he is so mad at himself for ruining something so good. And he really wishes he could have been everything I thought he was. But he feels like it's too late because now he has created this huge problem that can never be fixed. Then of course I started crying.
Author dashing daisy Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 It's like it's back to the beginning...back to thinking about him every day... This sucks. I miss him.
TaraMaiden Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I would say I'm about 80% over my ex, but I'm not completely over it. There's a part of me that doesn't want to get over him. The part of me that remembers "what we had" and wants it back. Sounds like the 20% is bigger than the 80%..... Either that, or you're lying to yourself. I suspect it's the latter..... He broke up with you, because he doesn't want to go out with you any more. Sad, but true.... it's all the reason you need, so focus on that, and leave him alone. keep picking at that scab, and making it bleed, and you'll end up with an indelible scar.............
rp123 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Sounds like the 20% is bigger than the 80%..... Either that, or you're lying to yourself. I suspect it's the latter..... He broke up with you, because he doesn't want to go out with you any more. Sad, but true.... it's all the reason you need, so focus on that, and leave him alone. keep picking at that scab, and making it bleed, and you'll end up with an indelible scar............. Nice of Ghengis to speak some cold hard truths... Painful to hear, but ultimately correct. How much do we deceive ourselves.....
caramel c Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I saw him online and I said hi... Why is harder. Part of me doesn't want to get over him... I just kind of want things to be back the way they were. Anyway it was a bad idea because when we started talking he kept bringing up things we did together...which I don't ever do. And I was like oh, I don't really remember that...and he kept saying specific things to remind me of that time...so then I said I guess I just tried to forget some stuff. And he said I would never want to do that, but I wish I did some things differently. I asked him what, and he said of course he wishes he never would have broken up with me. Then he said he thought I was the love of his life, and he is so mad at himself for ruining something so good. And he really wishes he could have been everything I thought he was. But he feels like it's too late because now he has created this huge problem that can never be fixed. Then of course I started crying. I think its very uncool that he said this to you! WTF. I am sorry you had to hear this. I know I would be terribly hurt/frustrated if I were you. HUGS to you girl. Don't pay his words any mind, because they are meaningless now. He's just saying these things without thinking, he broke up with you and thats it. Don't talk to him anymore.
AliveAndKicking Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 . Then he said he thought I was the love of his life, and he is so mad at himself for ruining something so good. And he really wishes he could have been everything I thought he was. But he feels like it's too late because now he has created this huge problem that can never be fixed. Weasel-words. This guy is a jackass. He reeled you in with words of love and talking about the good ol' days but did you notice the subtle blame-shifting he does? : Had YOU not thought so highly of him blah blah blah. Not really subtle from the outside but I'm sure it mindf&*$d you quite nicely hence the tears, huh? This guy is 100% LOSER. He's weak, he's a coward, and he has no love and respect for you. Don't look back- you lost a boy NOT a man. You deserve FAR better. Okay- say this in unison with me: "NEXT!" There! Now don't you feel better? I hope you do, hon, i hope you do. You'll be okay. You learned that dealing with this clown causes you pain. Remember this lesson the next time you feel lonesome. Call a friend or IM a friend next time okay? Okay!
Author dashing daisy Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Sounds like the 20% is bigger than the 80%..... Either that, or you're lying to yourself. I suspect it's the latter..... Yeah...you are probably right. I think I just put it for the side for a while and tried not to think about it, but secretly I was still hoping he would change his mind. And now he's coming back soon...
Author dashing daisy Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Weasel-words. This guy is a jackass. He reeled you in with words of love and talking about the good ol' days but did you notice the subtle blame-shifting he does? : Had YOU not thought so highly of him blah blah blah. Not really subtle from the outside but I'm sure it mindf&*$d you quite nicely hence the tears, huh? This guy is 100% LOSER. He's weak, he's a coward, and he has no love and respect for you. Don't look back- you lost a boy NOT a man. You deserve FAR better. Okay- say this in unison with me: "NEXT!" There! Now don't you feel better? I hope you do, hon, i hope you do. You'll be okay. You learned that dealing with this clown causes you pain. Remember this lesson the next time you feel lonesome. Call a friend or IM a friend next time okay? Okay! But where do I go from here? I feel like I will never have the feelings that I had with him ever again with anyone else and that's what makes me want to talk to him... If he broke up with me there is something wrong with me and nobody will ever like me again
Author dashing daisy Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I'm so pathetic. I don't know what to do anymore.
TaraMaiden Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 The first thing you have to do is to change the way you think. deed follows thought. if you really think you're unlovable and pathetic, you will start to believe it. Then, you will become unlovable and pathetic. So in essence, you will be creating yourself in the way you think of yourself. So, really, you need to start with the lies you tell yourself, because you're feeling sorry for yourself. Quit telling lies.
Author dashing daisy Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 I'm just doing things I don't normally do. I don't really have anything to say to him, but I'm just waiting around for him because I want him to say something. I don't even know what I would want him to say. I'm sitting here wishing we could go back in time, just because I had these expectations for what it would be like when he came back. I thought it was special...different. But now I have to go back and realize the happiest 6 months were just one big lie that I stupidly believed....
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