lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 totally numb today. If I think of him the only emotion I feel is anger. Then back to zombie. It's like I can't even process the feelings anymore because my mind is so exhausted with the pain. I was reading info about the silent treatment last night and they say they proved that it actually causes physical pain. Amazingly I was going through a weird amount of pain until he finally decided to tell me to f off. I still have some pain and certainly my heart hurts. I can say the numbness is worrying as i have never experienced this before not even with the ex husband. its all so strange. Has anyone else been through this feeling?
WTRanger Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Yep. I'm going through it right now. Unfortunately, I never got an answer directly from the person who is giving me the silent end. All I can say is to hang in there. It will get better over time. There are a few things to remember during this. One is to not resist the downs. Let yourself be down. Let yourself cry and be emotional. If you resist the downs then you only prolong the ups. And there will be many ups and downs, sometimes all in the same day. Just let yourself flow with it. Look at where you are at now. If you are near or at the bottom realize what if feels like. Embrace it and know that you don't want to be here again. We all hit rock bottom from time to time and it is up to us and only us to pick ourselves back up. If we can't pick ourselves up, who can? The only thing you have to be careful of is to not dwell in the down times. Understand that not everyone copes the same way. Some people recover faster, some people have longer periods in the down times, some are all over. Only you know which is the best way to cope. You will get a lot of good advice and support here, but what you are told is not the golden rules. Remember to take what you are given here and apply it to your life as how you see fit. Do not try to force the square peg in the round hole. Do what works best for you. Finally, learn. Read up on the silent treatment and emotional abuse. Read about different psychologies of the brain. Learn about a different style of though, say Taoist or some other form of Eastern religion. Empower yourself with knowledge. Realize that the universe unfolds in strange ways. But events always happen to progress our lives forwards, not sideways and certainly not backwards. Nothing ever happens for bad, even though it may seem horrible at the time.
Author lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Thanks so much for the words of wisdom. I am been through a lot in my life. Buried 3 siblings, lost my marriage, my job, my home, and I don't know why but for some reason this man has me in a place I have never been. I can't understand why he has such a hold on me. I can say I never felt this way about anyone in my life. Maybe that scared him, who knows, but the reality is that I would have loved him and cherished him until the day I died. So now I'm a zombie, numb and cold and trying to learn the life lesson of this. I have been reading a lot of Taoist and Buddhism lately. There was a section in one book on the power of unconditional love. I truly think I had this with this man. It's like, I didn't care he didn't love me because my light for him was so strong that I knew he couldn't possibly have it in return. That never bothered me. It was when he rejected that love that the beat down began. So I am stuck here thinking I should harden the heart... but what have I gained from doing this. Nothing. It's one step back for me as I went through this in my marriage. I learned then and after some reflection that we both hardened our hearts and turned every bit of love into hate. So I cannot do that again. I will always love him and welcome his conversation but I will not be stepped on, treated like I don't exist. It's cruel and reflects bad on his karma.
TapiocaDexterin Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I'm on Day 4. Don't give up, day 4 is great and you're almost there! If I got here you will too I promise you can do it. I am not a strong person!
Odyssey Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Don't harden your heart...'cause the walls you build around you to keep out the sadness and hurt, also keeps out the joy. Hang in there.
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