rider03 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Won't work on our relationship, won't file for divorce, won't get a job, won't go to counseling anymore, won't participate in decisions about our family. Does basic chores, talks on the phone for a couple hours a day...gets on the computer for a couple of hours a day.... She is just doing the bare minimal to get through life and she's completely happy that way. It's nuts. I have to get out. I've stayed elsewhere a couple of times this year and I liked it. But I can't afford two places and she won't do anything. I can't afford a lawyer either though I've talked to one twice about this. We have two kids btw. I've even offered her 50% of my paycheck for now so we could live in seperate places and she says "I would hope we can work things out." This has been going on for two years. I've told her it's over and I want a divorce and she admits there's nothing left to do but still says this. It's driving me insane. Making me so sad. I don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings.
HarmonyHope Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I have to get out. I've stayed elsewhere a couple of times this year and I liked it. But I can't afford two places and she won't do anything. I can't afford a lawyer either though I've talked to one twice about this. We have two kids btw. Why should you try to finance two households? That IS insanity. Take the kids with you and move out. Let her find someone else to loaf off of or get a job. She's a big girl - an adult - let her act like one. You don't neccessarily need a lawyer for a divorce, depending on a lot of things, like where you live. There are also a number of legal aid organizations out there that can help you if you need it. She maybe truly happy with the way things are. Or, maybe she's having an affair. Either way, it sounds like you've resolved to exit. You don't need to wait for her "ok" if that's your decision. Think how much more money and energy you'll have for the kids when you get rid of this woman who is sapping all your energy and money and putting nothing back in.
2sure Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 A turning point needs to happen and you need to make it happen. Maybe the marriage can be saved, maybe she can wake up and smell the coffee, or maybe you go on to live without each other. Either way, a turning point must come so that you can both stop spinning your wheels. File. Find the money, go to your attorney and file.
Aksion Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Won't work on our relationship, won't file for divorce, won't get a job, won't go to counseling anymore, won't participate in decisions about our family. Does basic chores, talks on the phone for a couple hours a day...gets on the computer for a couple of hours a day.... She is just doing the bare minimal to get through life and she's completely happy that way. It's nuts. I have to get out. I've stayed elsewhere a couple of times this year and I liked it. But I can't afford two places and she won't do anything. I can't afford a lawyer either though I've talked to one twice about this. We have two kids btw. I've even offered her 50% of my paycheck for now so we could live in seperate places and she says "I would hope we can work things out." This has been going on for two years. I've told her it's over and I want a divorce and she admits there's nothing left to do but still says this. It's driving me insane. Making me so sad. I don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. That in bold was exactly what my wife was doing for quite some time in our time together, yet she is the one who blindsided me with her leaving. She told me the whole 'ILYBNILWY' **** when she initially left -- yet she is literally waiting on ME to do all the work with the separation/divorce. I don't get it. Anyhow, since you want out -- just do it. Look around online for the paperwork to file -- there are sites that have that type of stuff. Not expensive, and if she isn't working, she can't afford a lawyer either, so your split while you do have kids, shouldn't be too conflicted.
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