lost07 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 how can someone love u so much yet have the desire to have others? if he loves you why do he cheat? why do people cheat on there love ones. like the married couple, why the mistress? for pleasure im sure but yet he love his wife? if he loves her why do something that would hurt her? true she dissent know but what happens when she finds out?
TaraMaiden Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Desire is a natural impulse. Commitment is a choice. They choose.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 how can someone love u so much yet have the desire to have others? they can't.....oh, but they will try to tell you in this forum that they do....puuulease.
harmfulsweetz Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 You can desire others, completely. It's whether you follow through on that desire, or leave it that decides whether or not you love the person. I love my bf, don't always show it, but I do. I think it's that people get bored, I'm not convinced the human race is meant for monogomy, I just think we are too easily stirred.
samsungxoxo Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Personality flaws mainly.. many reasons that are unknown... but he still cheated.. so it doesn't matter...
samsungxoxo Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 they can't.....oh, but they will try to tell you in this forum that they do....puuulease.Or maybe they do in their twisted way.. But not in the unconditional, respectful, sane way.. The ''I still love them'' can be that they still got the emotions there. Or maybe they can love the two people at once...
Author lost07 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Or maybe they can love the two people at once... can someone really love more then one person at a time? dont they think bout the other girl feelings? he has to love one more then other or is it because he likes a little bit of this in one girl and a little bit of that in the other to fulfill his desire....hmmmm
mcdo's girl Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Or maybe they can love the two people at once... is it really possible to do???
Dexter Morgan Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 possible to love two people at the same time, yet stab each one in the back? ya...ok:o
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 They can and do love the people they cheat on. They love them in a different way though - not the love of desire, passion or sex but rather the love of 'family', stuff like that. Once a person takes their SO out of the 'sexual love' category, they begin to miss that and look for it in someone else. Once they find someone to fill that 'sexual love' category, it does not necessarily detract from the 'family (non-sexual) love' that they feel for their SO. Two different types of love. Now, a person who cheats can still have sex with their SO, but again it won't be the same sort of sex they are having with someone new. So, when I say 'sexual love' I don't mean just the 'act of sex' but rather the motivation and desire behind it. That is where the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" thing comes from. It means that they don't think of you sexually anymore, and instead are thinking of someone else that way (or at the very least are considering the idea of being with someone else in that way). How can they hurt the one they love? People hurt the ones they love often, regardless of what sort of love or relationship it is. Why, specifically with people who cheat? Because when they weigh the pros and cons they find that the pros of feeling 'sexual love' for someone else outweighs the cons of the lack of 'sexual love' in the relationship that they already have. When the person is in an affair, they engage in magical thinking - convincing themselves that they won't get caught. Once they do, they regret what they did but it is more a case of regretting getting caught. True remorse comes much later.
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Anyone who's emotionally and spiritually intact does not cheat. Real love has no lies and no cheating. The other kind of love all comes from the ego
Author lost07 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Do real love really exist? I never cheated or even think of anyone else when I have a boyfriend yet Im the one who always get cheated on, yet all my friends have secrets of sleeping with other people” cheaters” I don’t know anyone who’s like me or is it that im hanging out in the wrong crowd? Guys I know tells me they like me and I know who they got the hots for then they tell me that the other girls are sexy and im a wife material the kind to start a family with. But then again my girlfriends tell me that to. Is that what I would want? But I want to be the sexy one also. I should I feel about that. And that is how I feel when my man tells me he loves me and sometime I think he dose but then he has to go and cheat on me. Now if I start a new relationship im scared to trust because I don’t think that there is someone out there who can be 100% faithful but then again I am so theres someone out there but how would I ever trust?
RedDevil66 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 LOST: yes real love exists, but it's not something that usually comes without a lot of work. Unconditional love is actually real love. If you look at how a mother animal would softly care for her pup, or how the sun shines on your face, or look at how an elderly man would take care of his aging sick wife, all of these are examples of "real" love. Intimate, romantic love is a whole other ballgame. The dynamic and emotions that come along with romantic love make unconditional love harder to grasp. If someone is cheating on you, it's about them and how they feel about themselves. People who cheat lack ANY self love or self resepct. But that is their path and what they need at the time to get through the day. It can also lead them on their path to becoming spiritually sound. Focus on love for yourself, love for your family and friends and when you become more aware of what "real love" is, then you will attract men who have the same self awareness.
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