KIOSKCAT Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Hi I am new here so apologies if I am a little green. I have been in a long term relationship with my husband for 25 years. It has been full of ups and downs as with most marriages but we have had more than our fair share of hard times. We have little extended family and it has been tough raising our 2 boys with no help. My husband has battled alcohol and anger and I have found it very hard to deal with at times. Five years ago he lost his business and we sold our family home and basically got financially wiped out. The stress has been particularly hard on our eldest son who is 19 going on 20. I am afraid that our son is a chip off the old block and my husband is finding it hard to stand by and watch our son in this abusive cycle of alcohol and anger as he can see finally how he has been to me. (He is not liking what he sees) My question is this? I am so emotionally drained by all the stress and problems that have been going on. We have had to kick our son out for the 3rd time as he gets physically violent when he is drunk and punches holes in the doors (and we are renting). I get so fed up that I think it would be so easy to walk out the door and get away. I feel that I have sacrificed my life for my husband and boys and have been walked over. I get no thanks or appreciation and lately my brother has been commenting that there is a severe lack of respect in particular for me. I think that I have missed out on love and affection and really desire this but wonder is it really possible? When I am with my youngest son who is very like me, we are so peaceful and calm around each other. When I confided in him that I wanted to move out on my home his immediate response was that he was coming with me. (I went away for 10 days and he really missed me and I think he realises that if I am not around there is no family feeling in the home) Is it possible to have a second chance? Just reading my post and wanted to mention that I started my own business 3 years ago as we were financially broke and we have started to get back on our feet. Another problem is that I believe my husband competes with me and is a little pissed off at my success. I want to buy a new car and have had finance approved and am looking at buying a Ford Mondeo and I am a little hurt by his attitude. He has said that I am not ready yet. I am an accountant and there are good financial reasons for me to get the car. I know that if I struggle to meet the payments (I don't believe I will) that he will pounce on this and run me down about it. I also am a little anxious about moving out as we have just bought a block of land and also have an investment property so not sure how my finances would stretch to cover my own place and our current commitments. We have worked so hard to get back on our feet and I feel that my dreams of a happy life are crushed. Any advice or comments would be gratefully received. I feel that I am stuck in a rut and this is not the sort of conversation I would share with anyone at the moment. Thanks
Recommended Posts