Northwesthunny Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Ok so ive been split from my ex for 4 months now, im currently 55days NC with him but im finding it SO hard!! I though i was getting over him and starting to move on but i guess i was wrong saturday night i went out with my friends and found myself crying to a song that reminded me of him now i cant stop thinking about him i just want to send him a message just saying i miss you - thats it no begging for him to take me back no asking why just plain simple i miss you but i know that that is the wrong thing to do and all my hard work doing NC will be ruined!! I keep thinking about if he has been with anyone since me and if so how many and how they compared to me i keep wondering what he is up to and if he is thinking about me too!! God i hate this
dollface07 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 you're not alone in your feelings! i once broke NC after 63 days and yes we did get back together and that next attempt at the relationship lasted about 6 months...Please know that if you initiate the rekindling of contact and the potential get back together is very real and exists then you would have given him the upper hand in the relationship from the very beginning and it is almost impossible to return equal respect between you both...he will feel an ego boost and flattered that you miss him...but does he even deserve that much? i am thinking that if you two are not together then he must have done something must not have been going right between the two of you right? SO dont break down and get weak b/c all that will happen is you will have to grow strong again and be put through this emotional rollercoaster.... look you're just getting weak right now b/c your feeling lonely a bit and perhaps jealous...IT's OK to entertain fleeting thoughts about what he's up to but PLEASE have self dicipline and DO NOT dwell on these thoughts. i KNOW that we are all very sensitive during these moments okay? so i dont want to say anything too harsh to hurt you further BUT PLEASE if he's okay maybe suffering a bit without you BUT NOT SO MUCH that he hasnt broken down to call on you, or ask you to be back together with him PLEASE tell me why would you suffer over such a man? He will get weak it takes men time to realize that they lost something b/c they can be too horny or avoiding emotional connections to understand it at the time...BUT after all is said and done...okay...and MUCH time passes maybe 3 months maybe half a year they DO break down...albeit delayed reaction to the break up break down...but their rebounds can only take them so far...at that time he may come back to you OR he may just suffer silently and feel it's pointless to establish a connection with you once again...MENTALLY prepare yourself for both outcomes BUT PLEASE dont allow your emotional state to be contingent upon where or not he realizes that he has or is REALLY losing you... be strong...accept the part you contributed and LEARN from this life experience it hurts i know...and it's sooo emotionally confusing but i swear to you that YOU WILL BE OKAY....just hold on and focus on YOU it's time to grow stronger on your own okay...embrace this time in your life b/c the next relationship might be THE one and you may never have the time to just be on your own free and independent ever again...i REALLY hope this helps you with my warmest
rp123 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Ok so ive been split from my ex for 4 months now, im currently 55days NC with him but im finding it SO hard!! I though i was getting over him and starting to move on but i guess i was wrong saturday night i went out with my friends and found myself crying to a song that reminded me of him now i cant stop thinking about him i just want to send him a message just saying i miss you - thats it no begging for him to take me back no asking why just plain simple i miss you but i know that that is the wrong thing to do and all my hard work doing NC will be ruined!! I keep thinking about if he has been with anyone since me and if so how many and how they compared to me i keep wondering what he is up to and if he is thinking about me too!! God i hate this Like you, I am 50+ days Strict NC! But I am staggered at the strength of feeling that I have to make contact. The Urges just keep coming, and I miss her soooo Much! I really thought I was making real progress, but then a wave of emotion hits me and I think I've made no progress at all. Dollface has pretty much said it all. WE can't break NC. ITs a simple fact. It would only weaken us. Lets just wait a grow ourselves.
Author Northwesthunny Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 you're not alone in your feelings! i once broke NC after 63 days and yes we did get back together and that next attempt at the relationship lasted about 6 months...Please know that if you initiate the rekindling of contact and the potential get back together is very real and exists then you would have given him the upper hand in the relationship from the very beginning and it is almost impossible to return equal respect between you both...he will feel an ego boost and flattered that you miss him...but does he even deserve that much? i am thinking that if you two are not together then he must have done something must not have been going right between the two of you right? SO dont break down and get weak b/c all that will happen is you will have to grow strong again and be put through this emotional rollercoaster.... look you're just getting weak right now b/c your feeling lonely a bit and perhaps jealous...IT's OK to entertain fleeting thoughts about what he's up to but PLEASE have self dicipline and DO NOT dwell on these thoughts. i KNOW that we are all very sensitive during these moments okay? so i dont want to say anything too harsh to hurt you further BUT PLEASE if he's okay maybe suffering a bit without you BUT NOT SO MUCH that he hasnt broken down to call on you, or ask you to be back together with him PLEASE tell me why would you suffer over such a man? He will get weak it takes men time to realize that they lost something b/c they can be too horny or avoiding emotional connections to understand it at the time...BUT after all is said and done...okay...and MUCH time passes maybe 3 months maybe half a year they DO break down...albeit delayed reaction to the break up break down...but their rebounds can only take them so far...at that time he may come back to you OR he may just suffer silently and feel it's pointless to establish a connection with you once again...MENTALLY prepare yourself for both outcomes BUT PLEASE dont allow your emotional state to be contingent upon where or not he realizes that he has or is REALLY losing you... be strong...accept the part you contributed and LEARN from this life experience it hurts i know...and it's sooo emotionally confusing but i swear to you that YOU WILL BE OKAY....just hold on and focus on YOU it's time to grow stronger on your own okay...embrace this time in your life b/c the next relationship might be THE one and you may never have the time to just be on your own free and independent ever again...i REALLY hope this helps you with my warmest Doll face thank you so much for your kind words they did actually help me!! I have snapped out of it (for the time being anyway) I think it is the fact that the brakeup came out of the blue that im finding this more difficult but i do thank you hopfully i will stay strong and step away from the phone/facebook when i do have those weak moments!!! Like you, I am 50+ days Strict NC! But I am staggered at the strength of feeling that I have to make contact. The Urges just keep coming, and I miss her soooo Much! I really thought I was making real progress, but then a wave of emotion hits me and I think I've made no progress at all. Dollface has pretty much said it all. WE can't break NC. ITs a simple fact. It would only weaken us. Lets just wait a grow ourselves. You have descibed exactly how i feel i feel so strong for doing NC for this long but then all of a sudden i think it hits me that he hasnt tried to contact me etc not that i ever think he would even if he did realise that he had made a mistake because he is too soft to chance anything
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