squirtle Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 my bf and i had a big fight 2 nights ago. he got really mad and told me to leave (we were both drinking) he wouldnt really talk to me all that day but today we talked online and he said he misses me and still likes me. but he also said he needs time to think. what the hell does this mean? weve only been together for a few months. i dont know what this means? is it just an easy way to break up with me?? i dont wanna sit around and wait for him to make up his mind but i want to be with him so bad@
JaneDoe35 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 my bf and i had a big fight 2 nights ago. he got really mad and told me to leave (we were both drinking) he wouldnt really talk to me all that day but today we talked online and he said he misses me and still likes me. but he also said he needs time to think. what the hell does this mean? weve only been together for a few months. i dont know what this means? is it just an easy way to break up with me?? i dont wanna sit around and wait for him to make up his mind but i want to be with him so bad@ I would ask him what he means by 'time to think'. Just ask him whether this means dating others. If he says yes or is non-committal then just let him go (for now anyway). Do either of you have a drinking problem or was the fight caused by both of you?
euroxx Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 my bf and i had a big fight 2 nights ago. he got really mad and told me to leave (we were both drinking) he wouldnt really talk to me all that day but today we talked online and he said he misses me and still likes me. but he also said he needs time to think. what the hell does this mean? weve only been together for a few months. i dont know what this means? is it just an easy way to break up with me?? i dont wanna sit around and wait for him to make up his mind but i want to be with him so bad@ Well if he's telling you he's missing you and still likes you, he obviously wants you to stick around. The time to think is probably just a reset type of situation to allow him to get over the fight and move on with things between the two of you. In this situation you're most likely going to end up back together no matter what path you choose. If you sit around and act like you're waiting for him, he'll probably be a little less apt to come back as quickly. However if you do the opposite of what he seems to be asking, he may hurry up in his thinking and realize that he may be losing you and thats something that he really doesn't want to do. It's your choice, but either way, I think this one is a win.
Ilovecake Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 After only dating for such a short time when a person says he/she needs time to think it pretty much means "I do not want to be in a committed relationship and would like to see other people but would like to keep you on the back burner just in case". If I were you I wouldn't wait around, do your own thing and if he's ready to come around he'll let you know.
Author squirtle Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 ive been doing my own thing. working lots and booked time off to go see and old friend that lives out of town. he still messages me all the time online hell say hi and a few things and then be silent! its so weird! i really dont like this mind game. the fight was over him not liking one of my friends... and its not him being controlling.. tehy actually are kind of bad news and i told him that. for myself, i am keeping away from them. its been 4 days. he dropped some of my stuff off and keeps messaging me online but wont talk about the real issue. i really dont know what to do cause if i knew he wanted ot see other ppl i would NOT stick around
Author squirtle Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 as for teh drinking thing... he usually just drinks on weekend but gets a little bit too drunk. i go out for drinks often but usually just socially 1 or 2 drinks... unless its a special occasion or something. like that night was halloween so we both had drank quite a bit.
adamt Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 "time to think" - been in your situation. The ex needed time to think to sort her head out. She emailed me that she was thinking about me,missed me and didnt think we were over. came back 2 weeks later and finished me. in my experience, things wont be the same again and more than likely it is over. what you need to do is go NC and ignore his contact. Hope that he misses you and sees that he is losing you and gives him a wake up call. meanwhile keep busy and try to beging to move on just incase he doesnt wantto work things out
Author squirtle Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 so she caled u in 2 weeks and broke up with u ?? after emailing u saying she missed you and stuff? that is so weird! ughim frustrated
adamt Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 when she emailed me, i had worked out what to say and what i needed to fix in the relationship. i wanted her more than ever. i didnt even get a chance to have my say when we got together. I told her how i felt about her then left it like that. It was upto here from then on. no matter how much i loved her i was not going to beg and harrass her. I thought that if she really wanted me then that would be strong enough to come through. Way i look at it now is why would someone want to be away from someone if they really wanted to be with them.
Author squirtle Posted November 6, 2009 Author Posted November 6, 2009 true enough. the only reason i am thinking there MIGHT be a chance is cause we had the big fight 4 days ago. i can tell that hes still mad. he said he is confused and cant sleep etc. ive been not contacting him unless he contacts me... he told me he devoted everything to me and thats why it makes him so mad and that i didnt know how good i had it with him. there are so many mized signals i cant make heads or tails of it i just miss him a lot
mark982 Posted November 6, 2009 Posted November 6, 2009 maybe he's upset about the way the fight went down,and just tring to figure out if he wants to continue this relationship.
Author squirtle Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 so heres the update... i got a text from him last night during my shift and he asked me to come over and watch a movie. i couldnt get back to him right away but i texted him later. he came and picked me up and we watched a movie and hung out and had a pretty good time. but the thing is.. HE NEVER TALKED ABOUT ANYTHING. NEVER BROUGHT IT UP! thigns werent too weird but he never tried to get close to me or anything. he just munbled something and when i said what?? he said oh nevermind. i got him to tell me what he said he had asked if i hooked up with anyone else!! i laughed and was like wtf no. and apparently he hasnt either. but that was about it for the relationship discussion. we might go play pool tomorrow. in a way im glad he never tried anything as it shows he didnt call me there to try to have sex or whatever but i just wish he wuold bring it up and see if were still together. so well see about the pool tomorrow it was cool hanging out with him though.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 I wouldn't wait for him to bring it up. You may want to bring it up and clarify things. You and he are at a stage where assuming anything can be a disaster.
Author squirtle Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 true enough i cant stand the not knowing and assuming and games. but its nerve wracking asking that i think cause im scared i wont like the answer but im going to do it. he called me last night... i was at a party at a friends and he was out of town. he called me and said he missed me. just randomly. odd
GrayClouds Posted November 9, 2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Assume it is over and start taking care of yourself: Read: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? If its not over great, if it is, and likely it is, then your already start the work to heal.
Author squirtle Posted November 12, 2009 Author Posted November 12, 2009 so im still SO CONFUSED! weve been hanging out the past couple of days. he called me to go over and watch a movie. it was fun but he still never brought anything up... we just talked a bit about the fight but in more of a light hearted way.. so at least were not mad anymore! but he doesnt bring up anything. he called me the other day when i was on a break at work then showed up around the back of the building., he wanted to show me a game he bought and picked me up after work so we could play it together. i spent the night we cuddled a bit but he still DIDNT SAY ANYTHING!! i want to ask so bad but i dont want to seem pushy or make him think im rushing him. he went out last night and called me to go with him but i had to work in the morning and didnt go. then he called me today and mentioned that he needed money to pay a bill cause they dont accept credit cards. i told him to come over and i lent him 80 bucks which is no biggie i know he will pay it back and i dont mind helping him out cause he would do it for me. he is leaving for work in a matter of a couple of weeks and i really want to get this crap figured out before he goes away to the middle of nowhere. i still like him so much!!!
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