lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 So it's been over 2 months since we finalized. Moved everything out of the house, been in very LC due to the anger I have with him. Anyway so far in this whole process while I feel free and happy to be out of that suffocating place I have been through the gambit of crazy emotions. To the point where I question my sanity and thats when I realize he still has a hold on me. I know a lot of you are going or have been through it. How do I loose the chip on my shoulder and heal. How do I trust men again? I'm so sick of feeling like I can't express any emotions because no one will understand them. I watched a friend go through this phase while I was seperated and she slept with any guy at the bar and drinks so much that she can never remember what the hell happened the next day. I am sick of the bar, I'm sick of feeling lonely and having no one to just talk about my day with.
Aksion Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Sanity -- not something I can help you with. Drinking has also been a problem for me, however I'm not trying to sleep with any woman I can, and sadly mainly drink alone and then wander the streets for hours just to keep myself out of the house. Trusting someone again, I'm not sure HOW to go about doing that. I suppose it's just something that will happen in time. I completely understand about the just wanting someone to talk to though. I miss just seeing my wife after work, even if we didn't talk, just having her by my side was always so great, and so comforting. I feel like I NEED a woman in my life just to talk to.
soheartbroken Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 You can always post about your day here!
carhill Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 OP, I hope you don't go 'crazy' like your friend did. In another six months or a year, you'll have a different perspective and be glad you remained in control, even in pain. In our case, my stbx got the new house and I'm left in the old one surrounded by the reminders of our decade of being together. I find myself discovering a new memory and new emotion from those reminders and often saying 'shyte' and lamenting all the time and emotion I tossed down that hole. Each day passes. On the positive side, friends and travel take my mind off of things. Unlike yourself, I don't have to interact with the opposite gender because they don't approach me like you will be approached. I like that. I don't think a woman would get a fair shake from me right now. Hope you find your path. Therapy (MC while we were together) helped me a lot. I'd be a real mess otherwise. If it gets bad for you, consider counseling. It can change you. Best wishes
PWSX3 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 You can go the way of your friend or you can except what part you had in the marriage & work on you.... For me I started by coming here & got beat up a little from some great people such as Gunny, a4a, & it opened my eyes to what I could change, ME. Then I went to a divorce care class that a local church put on. That lead me to other classes such as Boundaries (Henry Cloud, John Townsend book) and that got me back into church. I have met great people that have been thru the same thing & they have been such great help. I also found a great Christian counselor that helped me understand why I did the things I did, why I felt I wasn't good enough..... I know this isn't for everyone but for me it saved my life. No matter what you do it will take time, it isn't something that gets fixed overnight but it will get better. Keep posting & keep reading & just try I fix yourself & you will be amazed. Use this time for good, yes I know that's hard to believe but it has made me such a better person, I have to thank my former wife for putting me thru this.
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