LostInLA Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Ok so I've been coping with a break up from a LTR, and I know I'm not ready to date but I checked out a dating site and have been chatting with a guy for a while now. First of all, I've never done any online dating before. I know if we meet, it should be public and prob for coffee. Second, we are both just looking to hook up. This is fine for me since I've been getting the "drive" back lately So I'm wondering if I should meet him or not? If we hook up, will I feel like crap after? Will it hurt my healing? I had a one night stand back in June while my ex was out of town and we were already 2 months broken up and he was already dating another girl. I couldn't really enjoy myself though because I wasn't sure I was really ready to do anything...but I just went with it...and we are acquaintances so it's not like we were total strangers (we still keep in minimal contact), however this guy from online is pretty much a complete stranger... Hmmm...what to do? lol
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Indeed a quandary. How much time have you spent talking with him online? I'd like to sense how much you may have gained from just expressing yourself, and your feelings, without feeling restrained, because you had the safety of that on/off button on the computer. Sure it would feel good to get it on physically, but be sure that the idea sounds appealing for that reason, vs. the chance that you've allowed yourself to become so comfortable in your self-expression, that you expect his company to soothe you in ways beyond that. In other words (and this is great psychological advice for any online-to-real-life first meeting) : Try to bring the images in the minds of each of you in line with the actual person they will meet at the appointed time and place. Go to the detail of planning to wear, say, a Phillies jersey and a blue scarf, and then telling him that you'll be wearing exactly that. Give the other person great detail about what they'll see at first glance, and that will make the momentary awkwardness dissolve as quickly as possible. You don't want to be (or meet) the person who clearly knows that he/she only wants a quick f*ck with a tall, slender hottie, before meeting a short person who mostly wants someone who will listen. It really is up to you to decide what you want, and what you're likely to get. Once you do that, then if you feel bad afterward it will be all on your shoulders, and not somebody else's doing. Be safe.
Recommended Posts