PSV Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Hello--new member, first post. I'm 19, and in my second year of community college. I've always been way too shy around girls. Back in high school I had two fairly serious relationships (the second more serious and more rewarding than the first), and I'm good at and enjoy the relationship thing. It's getting the relationships since splitting up with my last girlfriend that has become a problem. I've realized that both of those relationships basically came through a circle of friends. Now I'm on my own because I've broken away from my friends a bit, and I'm still learning how to do it the "real" way. Confidence is becoming less and less of a problem as time goes on, but of course every once in a while I get a bit of a hit from the inside, not even really influenced by anything that happens on the outside. Maybe just the past two intimacy-less years catching up with me. Anyway, here's the dilemma. Not a huge deal of course, but I've been thinking about it nonetheless: I'm taking a night class, two nights a week, and after the first couple of classes I saw a girl in the neighboring class that really caught my eye and sparked my interest, or maybe just curiosity at this point, I should say. It took a couple more class sessions before I had a chance to talk to her, and that came from pure luck really. I waited a couple extra minutes in my car to see if I could catch her, decided that was way too close to stalker-mode for my liking, and went to class. As luck may have it, I saw her walking a ways down the parking lot, and we crossed paths. As we waled toward each other I realized that this girl was actually in one of my first classes last semester, which I dropped. So that was a convenient opener, and she was surprisingly receptive to it, and very friendly, though a bit surprised I recognized her of course (as was I). The conversation was way too short for anything, but I did get a her name, and gave her mine. I was convinced she didn't hear it though, because we sort of talked over each other at that time. Flash forward about three weeks. I've been trying my luck at catching her walking to class, but nothing. Then during the break time of the two classes she comes out just after I do. So when I see her I just remind her that I remember her name, and we have a little short small talk. I re-introduce myself and actually give her a proper handshake this time, but she gives a friendly laugh and says she remembers, which surprised me. Anyway she was headed to the restroom, I was heading to my car, end of exchange. Maybe a week later we cross paths briefly at the break, but I wasn't feeling too hot that day so I just said hi to her and got a friendly wave and hi back. She was heading home anyway. I realized immediately after that I should've just sucked it up and put out some some sort of invitation or asked for her number. I'm definitely going to next time I see her. Any suggestions of what sort of invitation I should put out would be cool. QUESTION(S): Should I rely pretty solely on luck for talking to her? Or should I start taking other measures like actually waiting for her? (Doesn't sound cool to me at all, and actually a little creepy, but if stepping way out of the comfort zone is what it takes I'll consider it..) I did come across her facebook account randomly. I was considering adding her just to kind of break the ice. Not even necessarily talking to her through it, because I'm not very into it anyway. I've reconsidered this idea, but any input is welcome. Yay or Nay? I really have no idea if this girl is interested at all, because our encounters have been so sparse. It's only stuck in my mind because of how receptive and friendly she's been. Since we have barely spoken though, that could just be her wanting to be kind to a stranger. This is also why I think adding her on facebook would be weird. I'm not into coming off as a creeper in any way. That's really cool if anyone reads this entire novella. I guess I didn't really have to lay all of this out, but recounting things like this can be fun. Thanks for any input.
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I did come across her facebook account randomly. I was considering adding her just to kind of break the ice. Not even necessarily talking to her through it, because I'm not very into it anyway. I've reconsidered this idea, but any input is welcome. Yay or Nay? Absolutely not do not add her on facebook unless you ask her. I know it is not easy but quit making chit chat with her and see what her intentions towards you are. Try to get her number or ask her out a little date. It sounds like you are putting too much into the little contact that you have had with her but you don't know if she is interested so you have to find out. Good luck.
Author PSV Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) Right, that's what I was thinking. I was glad to talk myself out of adding her in the first place. And really, you can hardly call it chit chat. It's usually been three or four lines each before we have to split up. Which I realize is almost more than enough time to actually say something of value to my situation. Edited November 3, 2009 by PSV
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