JolliX Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 So my ex broke up with me a few days ago, isn't talking to me (which is ok now b/c NC seems to be doing me well), but we still have a Kung Fu class together. Tonight we were just supposed to give each other's stuff back, and that was all.... yeah.... FIrst thing I noticed is that she brought two guys to the class that gave me death stares as I walked in. Ok, I ignored that, we aren't talking anyway, so big deal. Next thing is that after the class was over, she talked to these two guys, one of the instructors, and kept doing this for 20 minutes. Well, at this point I was late to another class, so I just left grabbed her stuff and put it on the hood on her car (it was in a trash bag, in a good neighborhood, and I figured after she saw me leave she'd leave 5-10 minutes later). So she has her stuff back, that's cool, I don't have to look at it anymore. I figure, since she has two guys with her, and I have a class (and won't be home), she might swing my stuff by my place and drop it at my door step. I would be fine with that, b/c my roommate would be home soon, we wouldn't have to worry about talking to each other this way, etc. Nope, I still haven't got my stuff yet. WTF?! How am I supposed to get my stuff? I really don't feel like being the perceived jackass (we both were equally jackassish to each other during the break up, so I don't want to add to my end) and approach her about it, and I couldn't contact her if I wanted (already got rid of every means of contact minus getting a hold of a mutual friend, but I don't want to lay that on them). So should I do?
xpaperxcutx Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Well you're going to have to get it back eventually, but the sooner the better. At least try to be civil with her during kungfu class. Go up to her and ask her if it's possible to get your stuff back. Don't let her make excuses to how busy she is and blah blah blah.... tell her you're available which and which date, and if she isn't able to swing by your place to drop off your stuff, tell her you can just to her and get them.
lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 i would like my stuff back as well but there is no way I will ask for it. I would rather him throw it away than have to deal with the bs anymore
Author JolliX Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Are you having similar problems Lilbelle?
lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 yeah, its called the silent treatment. It's very effective. If I break the NC he threatens me with harassment. I am done, but I didn't deserve that. If you don't want to be with me it's real simple, tell me, don't drag it out. Anyway, I left some jewelry over there I know cause it's missing and I only would have ever stayed at his place or my home. I have something of his but he can buy a new one. I have no desire to see him. He is hurtful and I hope in the long run he looks back and sees that this treatment is unfair and unnecessary. Real men communicate and admit if they aren't happy in the relationship.
Thornton Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Is it stuff that you absolutely can't write off? I've been in situations where I never got stuff back from exes (one even kept my car, which is a whole other story!) If you want your stuff, then I'd advise speaking to her briefly at your class, if necessary with a third party present to witness that you're not causing any trouble.
Author JolliX Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 I think I'm going to have to speak with her briefly. And class would be the best place for it indeed, because even if all hell breaks loose, she'll be civil there. But no, it's not stuff I need, just stuff I really like.
DustySaltus Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) Jolli, i'm sorry that you are dealing with someone who just doesn't do the right thing. I mean you shouldn't have to mention anything, but she wants to play games. Have one last conversation with her and that's it. If you have to write things off at the end of the day, so be it. You took the high road. Look what I wrote off: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t203398/ good luck d Edited November 3, 2009 by DustySaltus
AnthonyMalibu Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Ignoring your ex is the best move right now, because she's trying to get your attention. Flaunting herself in front of those other two guys is probably making her feel really good right about now, and you don't want to perpetuate it by harassing her for a few little belongings (even though you're not really harassing her). I'm willing to bet that if you COMPLETELY ignore her for a week... and I mean not even look her way... that your stuff will magically show up. Either she'll hand it to you, or she'll leave it on your car. The minute you stop giving her attention, the game stops becoming fun for her. And if it was a really bad breakup with a girl you don't want back? Let your stuff go. We've all lost "stuff" this way... and most times it's worth it. Consider it payment for the experience you've gained.
Author JolliX Posted November 10, 2009 Author Posted November 10, 2009 /sigh... so this morning I get a text from my ex saying that she still has my stuff (no crap, since she didn't give it back to me last week), and that I still had something of hers (did I?! I check around, and damn it! yes I did). Ok, I text her back. "Will find your stuff. Can exchange after Kung Fu." That's it word for word, short and sweet. She then text me back apologizing for last week, but she "couldn't get away from people" at our kung fu class to get me my stuff back.... I don't respond, no reason to, it's been extablished that we will trade for good at the class that was happening that night. Well the class rolls around, and she isn't there. Ok, well maybe she just drove by and left my stuff on my hood, or on my doorstep, that would be cool. I would get a friend of mine to take my stuff to her doorstep then, and we don't even have to interact. Nope, my stuff is no where to be seen, again. I figure I'm just going to have a friend still just drop her stuff off on her door step, and say farwell to the idea of getting mine back. Then she can text me all she wants about my stuff, and I don't care what she does with it, so I won't answer back. I'm just so damned annoyed right now!!
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