McGrupp Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 its a nice place. with a lot of nice people that got played or cheated on and now we are all lonely and scared and on this rollercoaster but its so great to know and there is a place like this, and to see others who are hurting in one thread trying to help someone else in another. i wish i did things different. so do a lot of us. but we will all learn from this situation and come out stronger, wiser and better off. COPE!!!
USMCHokie Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I totally agree with you...I've only been posting a day or two, reading for about a month...and I wish I had started posting when I first found this site...it has helped me to talk about it more than anything else I've done over the past few months... However, I'd have to disagree with you on one thing...if I had to live the past year over again, I would do everything I did, mistakes and all, the exact same way every time...yep, I'd beg and plead for a month for my ex to reconsider the breakup...I'd break NC a few times...because those were all learning opportunities that gave me everything I have now...if I hadn't been a weak and clingy sap right after the break, I may have never learned how bad that is and how much it pushes away the one you love...if I hadn't broken NC, I wouldn't have understood the value of strict NC and how breaking it puts you right back where you started... Never regret making mistakes...only regret repeating them...
Author McGrupp Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) i regret breaking NC about 9 times since the breakup including 2 days ago. i will never get her back. do you know how hard that is for me to say? its sad. i repeated my mistakes. but without this place i would probably be thinking of doing it again and that is isnt all for the better Edited November 3, 2009 by McGrupp
USMCHokie Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 i will never get her back. do you know how hard that is for me to say? Yep, I know exactly how hard it is...I honestly still can't say it without having that sliver of hope hidden deep down inside that I'll get to hear her voice or see her face again... Just a matter of time, my friend... But you're exactly right, we have a great community here...
lilbelle Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Totally agree and glad I joined. I have so much to say and no one to say it too. I mean honestly friends don't want to hear about this all the time and heartbreak is hard to just push away. Yeah, I made mistakes and he made mistakes and I'll keep making mistakes because life is like that. I think I still hold onto hope even though I know it's done and I'm trying to cope with that. I try to remember the great memories and the sweet times, and honestly there were more great times than bad. Sometimes I just think I am better off alone. But I get lonely, everyone gets lonely. Pretty soon I will be moving from here anyway and I'm hoping the distance will really help me heal my heart and mind.
onewillburn Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I don't know what I would do without this site, I probably would have made a lot of mistakes and embarassed myself. It really does help to just get your feelings out there and talk about your problems.
soheartbroken Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I agree that I can't honestly say I will never get her back. There is always that sliver of hope in my heart, even though my mind says it aint so. And friends get tired of this crap. Breakups really make you question your friendships and loyalties. You lose some, gain some, only to lose them again, and re-make some. People you thought would be rocks disappear, your best friend tells you "it's been x months, you've gotta get passed it". Good ol' LoveShack.
dollface07 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 i was too proud thinking omg a forum for people who are heartbroken!??! LOL but then i read and read and read and REALLY realized HOW much this forum can help with the life transitions of letting go of attachments! there are so many different perspectives and you can adapt other's methods to suit your personal life circumstances! I showed my closet girlfriends in the dorms about LS and i wasnt ashamed to show them that i posted on it and they were equally surprised that people were kind enough to reply back to my postings! this forum restores my faith in humanity (after having loved someone for 6 months only to have realized he was just holding out and giving me the appearance that he loved me back while just waiting to see if i would break down down and sleep wth him :'( so i broke up with him b/c his hornyness was getting in the way of his ability to gradually grow in love together with me! NC for 3 weeks today and it's getting hard BUT LS gives me a peaceful feeling that should be unlikely given the circumstances! i have somewhere to turn to to just let it all out and find ways to cope with the trauma of this loss...
Odyssey Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Hahaaa...i remember 6 months ago, i was googling like mad to find an answer to my breakup, and i got hit by this pink website (LS). I'd almost dismissed it, thinking it might be some luvy-duvy-teen-romance-sulk-corner, until i read some of the posts. It has helped me plenty, since it gave my family, friends, and even the pet dog a break from my depressing rants. It probably stopped me from pestering my ex. like a pathetic stalker. I wouldn't of gone NC with total conviction - I would of ran but only far enough to make her miss me. Even when she did come running back, it wasn't for real - just false hope. LS gave me clarity. In a way, LS is a place like 'Cheers', but where everyone knows your sorrows. It's also comforting to know others have weathered the storm and come out for the better. Many lessons to learn here. The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it (which ends up being 'baggage' later) or learn from it for the next relationship. Anyway, i hope..no...I know you guys will be fine again and you'll look back and think, "what was all that fuss about, wasting all that energy over an ex"! If not, there will always be people here to kick your ass into action... WAKE UP... MAN UP... MOVE ON ALREADY!
Ms. Joolie Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 its a nice place. with a lot of nice people that got played or cheated on and now we are all lonely and scared and on this rollercoaster but its so great to know and there is a place like this, and to see others who are hurting in one thread trying to help someone else in another. i wish i did things different. so do a lot of us. but we will all learn from this situation and come out stronger, wiser and better off. COPE!!! Wow, McGrupp.... *tear* What a change! I'm so happy for you. Congratulations on all your hard work in this recovery. It wasn't easy but you are pulling through. I wish you could feel my excitement for you! Yes, things could have been different, but it was a lesson learned. A lesson we learn, and we share, and then we grow together. Love Shack has truly proven valuable to me as well. I'm still coping, still growing strong... but making it, everyday. Cheers!
angelface78 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 LS has helped me tremendously. If it werent for LS who knows where id be. I probably would'nt have gone into NC and done something really stupid and lost all my dignity. This place is full of wonderful people that understand! Nobody out there in the world understands! Everybody here gives you love, encouragement, and even tough love. People here tell you the truth even when you dont want to hear it. Thank God for LS! Thanks to everybody i am a lot better and i never thought i would see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am 4 months post breakup FROM A 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. Only broke NC 1 time since the breakup!! THAT'S F***** AMAZING!!! I couldve never done this without everyones support!! ALTHOUGH SOME DAYS ARE STILL HARD.. I now know im going to be ok with or without him!!
GrayClouds Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 McGrupp it sounds like a your doing better, it still sucks but your going to be ok. Ms. Joolie - have you made the commitment to move on? Odyssey - It is always good to hear from those who made it through. angelface78 - I can not believe how far you have come in the last 2 weeks. Everyone Else - Sometimes you will get some tuff love here a LS. Don't fight it, give it real consideration, often that is best advice you get. .
HeavenOrHell Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I love this site too For the first month after my ex left my friends were great, but the support has faded away bit by bit, I guess they get fed up hearing it over and over again, two of my closest friends had big problems for 2 years and yes it was hard to know what to say after a while but I didn't back off from them and they actually said to me you can't put a time limit on grief, they saw me regularly, now I'm back to being on my own most evenings, I asked if I could go to their house one eve a week just to watch telly with them and they said we're usually tired in the eves Having a good support network would have made all this much easier. I agree that I can't honestly say I will never get her back. There is always that sliver of hope in my heart, even though my mind says it aint so. And friends get tired of this crap. Breakups really make you question your friendships and loyalties. You lose some, gain some, only to lose them again, and re-make some. People you thought would be rocks disappear, your best friend tells you "it's been x months, you've gotta get passed it". Good ol' LoveShack.
Ilovecake Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I have mixed feelings about this website. It's mostly a good place, there are people here who really have some amazing things to say and are supportive and helpful and really have opened up my mind about my own situation. Unfortunately I've noticed the same few rotten apples that constantly knock others down. It makes me sad to see that the only way they know how to deal with their own pain is to be aggressive and kick others while they are down. I guess it's easy to do when you have the anonymity of a computer screen to hide behind.
Odyssey Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 iLoveCake, there are bad people wherever you go. I agree it's because they got something to hide behind (same with road-rage in a way). That's what ignore is for.
Ilovecake Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Ah see another new thing I learn. I had no idea about the ignore option. Thank you
Tamia78 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I agree with everyone here in saying that LS has definitely helped me. I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this little site here. People here are going thru the same thing I'm going thru! Not that I'm naive to think it only happens to me, but it was nice to read others dealing with the bs that I'm dealing with. The ex is talking to me again, but after 5 weeks on my own, and with the help of this site, I know what to look for, and unfortunately, I think it's me who's gonna have to tell him not to contact me anymore. Thanks LS! --T ps. Anyone wanna do an infomercial?
Ms. Joolie Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Ms. Joolie - have you made the commitment to move on? Yes. My focus is all about moving forward, moving on.
AliveAndKicking Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 ps. Anyone wanna do an infomercial? No way! Could you imagine all the fakes and phonies it would attract? Those who NEED LS will FIND LS... ________________________ "But wait! There's MORE! If you order now we'll throw in...." "If you don't like it we'll refund your heartache and misery with no questions asked!" _________________________ Sorry... :-D
angelface78 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 yes Gray i am doing a lot better. Im glad somebody noticed
dollface07 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 Oh gosh Tamia im so sorry for not contacting you sooner!! hehe i didnt know how to find my old posts and to see who posted to my posts! I am so happy you are better remember you and i went NC roughly around the same time! well missy after 5 weeks he did start to "appear" in my life about 3 times last week in the medical library twice and in the hospital when i was getting screened for H1N1 loool so sweetie in a way i think that he was indirectly trying to make an appearance to test out the waters as he directly came up to me and tried to inquire as to how i was doing...i guess he was being stubborn about my decision to not even be friends (if u can remember he didnt love me just possessive jealous feelings...and he wanted only to gain sexual experiences from our relationship and when i wouldnt provide this b/c we had no emotional connection he didnt bailed...disregarding the other things i did as a good girlfriend to try to develop a true emotional connection so that the sexual side of the relationship could naturally progress as a result!) but tamia after 5 weeks u really are now in a stronger position with regard to your strength of character and heart! im sure of it so u WILL be able to implement NC on your own this time around from the VERY moment ur intuition tells you that his coming around is based on his own selfish interest and needs as opposed to his real love for you! remember he didnt even acknowledge ur unconditional acceptance of his children!?!? i am NOT saying it's a hopeless case between you two okay? b/c u guys are a bit older than me im 26 and i think u said ur early 30s right? (and werent u from the south? im from the south too and his behavior towards you was TOTALLY not gentlemanly-like)but in any case...u and ur ex MUST have some extra maturity that me and my inexperienced nerdy newly medical school ex both lacked! so pls DO keep me updated and let me know how ur story is progressing and how you are doing okay? warmest, dollface! I agree with everyone here in saying that LS has definitely helped me. I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this little site here. People here are going thru the same thing I'm going thru! Not that I'm naive to think it only happens to me, but it was nice to read others dealing with the bs that I'm dealing with. The ex is talking to me again, but after 5 weeks on my own, and with the help of this site, I know what to look for, and unfortunately, I think it's me who's gonna have to tell him not to contact me anymore. Thanks LS! --T ps. Anyone wanna do an infomercial?
dollface07 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 WOW 5 YEARS?!?!? You must have some MAJOR strength of character i can totally relate to LS helping maintain and keep your dignity in tact in you WEAKEST moments!!!!! B/c GOD knows that i needed this LS to not pitifully run back begging to work things out with my ex look at what my NC and patience helped me attain: the knowledge that with a LITTLE bit like just basic self control of not running back to your first love...that the other persons TRUE depth of character, maturity and commitment can be revealed NC helped me discover that if he can let 5 weeks pass without calling on me to come back to him as his love and his precious unconditionally committed girlfriend then he is at a completely different stage of his life and different LEVEL/depth of love feelings towards me than i WAS for him...NC that instrumental in helping me confront this cold hard truth and LS was vital to turn to when the realization/acceptance began to appear with the pain that appears along with all of that! LS helped me not hold on to the EX's negative shortcomings and wrap my emotions around it and NC/LS helped me REALLY REALLY confront my own issues that i used relationship to avoid confronting my issues for FAR too long...oh man it was scary as hell and i am sure i have much to keep working on but the dignity i maintained i can TOTALLY relate to your words 100% of course for you some days are hard i can ONLY imagine but 4 months wow maintain those gains and keep moving forward to happiness and a healthier life! dollface XOXO LS has helped me tremendously. If it werent for LS who knows where id be. I probably would'nt have gone into NC and done something really stupid and lost all my dignity. This place is full of wonderful people that understand! Nobody out there in the world understands! Everybody here gives you love, encouragement, and even tough love. People here tell you the truth even when you dont want to hear it. Thank God for LS! Thanks to everybody i am a lot better and i never thought i would see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am 4 months post breakup FROM A 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. Only broke NC 1 time since the breakup!! THAT'S F***** AMAZING!!! I couldve never done this without everyones support!! ALTHOUGH SOME DAYS ARE STILL HARD.. I now know im going to be ok with or without him!!
dollface07 Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I am so grateful that established memebers would reply to my threads/posts!! i feel like you all are like sooo far beyond in terms of development and strengh hehe why would you down to the newbies level to expain things you already got passed or know! BUT LS is full of lovely people like you who have so much patience and care! Thank yo so much Odyssey really thank u! yes it's true when the ex does return LS adequately prepaers you to keep your gains...and also helps you not overly concern yourself too much about if/when the next time they will return...b/c NC was desgined for you to move forward with your own life for your own happiness! i have my weak moments it seems to be the reoccuring trend even for people MONTHS NC!! (that's a bit unsettling to read tho!) i a sure that when i get "all better" i will still come back and keep posting from time to time all the way up until i get MARRIED one day with the realistic mentality that even marriage may not be "happily ever after" heheh but i surely hope it is at least a "minimal stability ever after" and the work NC/LS has helped me confront and deal with about myself should definitely help my odds to being in the emotionally healthy point in my life to have a stability ever after! hope to talk to you soon odyssey! dollface! Hahaaa...i remember 6 months ago, i was googling like mad to find an answer to my breakup, and i got hit by this pink website (LS). I'd almost dismissed it, thinking it might be some luvy-duvy-teen-romance-sulk-corner, until i read some of the posts. It has helped me plenty, since it gave my family, friends, and even the pet dog a break from my depressing rants. It probably stopped me from pestering my ex. like a pathetic stalker. I wouldn't of gone NC with total conviction - I would of ran but only far enough to make her miss me. Even when she did come running back, it wasn't for real - just false hope. LS gave me clarity. In a way, LS is a place like 'Cheers', but where everyone knows your sorrows. It's also comforting to know others have weathered the storm and come out for the better. Many lessons to learn here. The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it (which ends up being 'baggage' later) or learn from it for the next relationship. Anyway, i hope..no...I know you guys will be fine again and you'll look back and think, "what was all that fuss about, wasting all that energy over an ex"! If not, there will always be people here to kick your ass into action... WAKE UP... MAN UP... MOVE ON ALREADY!
teanoranges Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I've been reading for 2 months now and just joined several days ago. It is sooo very helpful to get everything out and get advice from people doing the same thing. Its so strange too, because everyone is such a great person! I don't understand how karma hit us in the butt with this kind of pain!
nobleguy Posted November 15, 2009 Posted November 15, 2009 I love this site too For the first month after my ex left my friends were great, but the support has faded away bit by bit...asked if I could go to their house one eve a week just to watch telly with them and they said we're usually tired in the eves Hmmmm. That's really not right, surely they could spare some time once a week. I know people get sick of hearing it (they have at work) but even so... Having a good support network would have made all this much easier. Yep. I've pretty much got no-one here to lean on really and I wish I'd found this site much sooner.
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