mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 whats your story? how did you come to be NC? what was your affair like, did you have dday? are you married?
beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 hey there,. well thanks for asking. yes I am married. wonderful long marriage - well until last year. I managed to mess that part of the story up. Yes sort of, to the dday question. H found an e-mail early on. I told him it was over. Lie. I became very deeply in love with MM. Felt a very deep bond. He is so complex. I honestly cant figure him out. On/off, on/off. I get to feeling guity and end it, then he does the same. It kills me and the pain each time we end it gets worse. We both are intelligent enough to know this is a train wreck. But holy crap... I have never felt so conflicted and torn up and pissed off and happy and sad all at the same time. I thought what we had/have was unique. Then I found this forum. wow. So many of us in the exact same position, it blows me away to read some of the posts. I could have written most of them. I dont know how my story will end... I will keep you posted and continue to keep reading. It keeps me from writing him. That is the best part. I hope he is at home right now thinking about me. Is that bad? Yes it is. Thank you for asking. I love you guys...
Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 thanks for sharing. sometimes its helpful to know a little background on the people you are "talking" with. i do have to say that i wish i had found this board a long long time ago before my situation took a nosedive. the main issue here is that you need to read the words written here and believe them. i think in the midst of my affair i would have blown it all off to think that my situation and my MM was "different." but the truth is he was the same as the rest of them. i know your situation hurts, but trust me, it can get worse. at least you seem to gave great insight into things, and your posts are right on target. hang in there, i understand how hard it is to be in your situation. and thanks again for sharing.
beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 How are you doing now? What is your "story"? I am new here and haven't read too many posts. Thanks
Lucky_One Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 "I have never felt so conflicted and torn up and pissed off and happy and sad all at the same time." Five emotions. One positive. Four negative. What does that tell you?
Author mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 my story is pretty tragic. married and in love with another MM who i work for for a few years. dday with my H, MM vowed to be there for me until his own dday when he dropped me on my a**. dealing with the fact that i ruined a great marriage for someone who was lying to me and never really cared. struggling to make things work with my H, whos pretty much decided hes gone. throw in a few nasty emails and phone calls from the xMM and his wife and it proves to be a pretty good "show" for all of the posters on LS.
boldjack Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 MBEG, Yes it is a good "show", but remember, you wrote the "script", yourself. 1
2sure Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 People get bored, their lives lack drama, they have an affair. Instant drama. Sadly , its often so much more entertaining to the APs than to anyone else.
beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 MBEG, Yes it is a good "show", but remember, you wrote the "script", yourself. This is HARSH..yes we did get ourselves into this and write the script.. We know... and we pay the price....
beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 People get bored, their lives lack drama, they have an affair. Instant drama. Sadly , its often so much more entertaining to the APs than to anyone else. I just have to say you are right on... your radio head lyrics really hit me like a ton of bricks... my Man... sang that and recorded that and sent it to me... it holds so much significance to me... crap.
lkjh Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 This is HARSH..yes we did get ourselves into this and write the script.. We know... and we pay the price.... Not harsh, just true. The cheaters always want sympathy, they want people to feel sorry for the situation they are in and everyone on the OW/OM boards give it to them. But that is not good for them. Real life is not like the third grade, everybody doesn't get a trophy. Most cheaters have multiple chances to help their situation but instead they act selfishly and make it worst. Instead of admitting to this being their faulty they try to give reasons as to why it happened, like being bored or needy. The situation they are in is completely their own doing. take you for instance, you had a chance to come clean and end this but instead you lied and continued the affair. You said you don't know how it will end but you really do. Just read these boards and see all of the similar cases. They all end in certain ways. Some the H/W never find out and the cheater lives with a lot of guilt ultimately destroying anything good in their life, some(few) have no negative repercussions, and most get tossed under the bus by their AP and end up losing everything all the while feeling fooled and ashamed
boldjack Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 You are right, beachbabyblues, I am being Harsh, but you are being self-pitying. Both are unpleasant. 1
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