She wants to breakup/take a break, but i cant let her go

[kairi and sora]

** Apologies ahead of time, this will be a bit of a long read **

Okay so ill start by thanking everyone to read this, and giving you a bit of background. Im 18 years old, 19 in a month, a freshman in college, and im 100% sure that i have found the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with. We've gone to the same school since elementary school, but we were never really that close until high school. at the end of Sophmore year, we started to hang out more and became best friends over that summer, talked on the phone everyday, saw each other in school, etc. etc. etc. Eventually, i fell in love with her. i have always been kinda shy, but i knew that i wanted her to be my first everything. before her, i had never been with a girl, kissed anyone, never been to any of the "bases". Even though she always had a boyfriend, most of them for 5 months or more, i never told her how i felt, was always her shoulder to cry on, always there when she needed me. and i decided to wait as long as i had to to be with her.

 

but now, weve been together since Christmas our senior year, we've shared everything together, she was my first EVERYthing, i mean first time kissing, holding hadnds, etc. and recently, she says that we have been fighting too much, and that she doesnt need the stress in her life right now, and that she was going to go. thats it, she didnt specify, break, breakUP, nothing. ive tried everything i can think of to get her back, but i have run out of options, and i think there is a possibility that she has been cheating on me for the past month or so. i know that since she was my first, its going to be extraordinarily hard to let go, but its amazing how many things we had in common, everything we did alone, we could do together. there was nothing the other did that we wouldnt adore doing together. but she says she doesnt want me anymore, she still loves me, but its time to move on. its so hard for me to let her go, every day i wake up and theres an empty feeling in my stomach, and a hole in my heart. it hurts me taht she could say that after everything we had been through, i mean we talked about everything together, what the future held for us, we became so madly in love, we decided where we wanted to live when we got married, and everything in between that and death. it just hurts that she could let that go, especially after she took my first everything away from me, ive tried talking to friends, family, relatives, everyone just says, get over her and move on, youll find someone else. but im certain that shes the only one for me, i have it in my head that i will never love anyone like i love her now, and i doubt its coming out anytime soon. im just looking for some advice that anyone out there is willing to give. thank you for taking the time to read this, and take your time on your responses, i look forward to reading them.

thank you

 

*EDIT* ugh, i know i might not be explaining everything that well, if you have any questions or are confused, just ask me please, its been a week, and im still a wreck, i just sit in home all day, go to school, do my work, and go to sleep, nothing else, ive barely eaten, barely slept, nothing is the same without her anymore. i did everything possible to make her happy, and my best seems to not be good enough for her.

Edited November 3, 2009 by kairi and sora

[AnthonyMalibu]

Im 18 years old, 19 in a month, a freshman in college, and im 100% sure that i have found the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with.

 

When you've lived another 18 years, you'll look back and smile at this sentence. I love that you feel this way. Youth is awesome, and is filled with lots of great optimism that you kinda lose along the way as you become an adult. With wisdom comes jadedness, and being jaded kinda sucks.

 

Bro, at 18 or 19 years old EVERYTHING has a heightened sense of importance. Sounds like your relationship with this girl made you very happy. You're thinking that this is IT, and that this girl is perfect, and that you'll never find someone like this again. That's entirely untrue, but I don't expect you to believe that right now. At the moment, this one relationship is the sum total of your whole dating existence, and no one will be able to sway you on your opinion that she's the one.

 

Right now there's probably not much advice we can give you, other than the old "things will get better". This girl sounds a little bit ahead of you in many areas, and you probably need to play catch up. If you're really destined to be together, it will happen somewhere down the line... maybe after college... maybe after you've slain some other babes. But right now you're still a fledgling, and you need to spread your wings before you try to handle this girl again.

 

Stay strong, keep cool, and leave her alone for a while. I mean totally, utterly, completely alone. Her calls, text-messages, emails... they should roll right off you like Teflon. Do that, and she'll start getting interested in you again REAL fast. But for God's sake, don't chase after her. That's the worst thing you can do.

 

In the meantime, get out, grab your friends, and have a blast. You're only a teenager once, and you're gonna want to take advantage of it.

[kairi and sora]

"Do that, and she'll start getting interested in you again REAL fast. But for God's sake, don't chase after her. That's the worst thing you can do."

 

i've started to notice that, but i wasn't sure if it would actually work out or not. and you're right, i cant really accept all the things that are being said to me by different people, i mean im TRYING to, but something inside of me tells me that its not over, that everything we had planned will come true, its really hard to explain >.<

[kairi and sora]

and i gotta say, the " Slain Some other babes" part made me laugh, but that also kinda adds another aspect to the story, she says that she wont be with anyone else, and she still wants to be the only girl i kiss...and she asked me to tell her that too....kinda made my head spin around a few times if u know what i mean, and i, playing the heartbroken FOOL said okay. so i dont know, i think she wants me back, just not now,but wants space away from me... im not sure

[AnthonyMalibu]

she says that she wont be with anyone else, and she still wants to be the only girl i kiss...

 

This is pretty selfish of her, don't you think?

 

"Hey listen, I don't wanna be with you right now... but I don't want you to be with anyone else either. So just kinda hang back, sit around on the bench, and wait to be called back in the game when I need you. IF I need you. Unless I draft another player who hits better than you. Dig me?"

 

You're going to find another girl, and when you do, you're going to forget ALL about being obsessed with this one. This first girlfriend will obviously live in your fond memories, but you'll eventually realize that you can get close with another person.

 

What's funny is this: right now you think that dating another girl might jeopardize the relationship you could still potentially have with this one. But in reality, having a new girlfriend is one of the biggest things that will make your ex want you back. Women (men too) always want the things they can't have. Human nature.