beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I went nc for 3 months he never tried to contact me. Then out of the blue show up at my work. We work in the same fiield, so it was indeed work related but could have been done by phone with my co-workers. There was incredible chemistry and I shook like a leave. He really unravels me. He hugged me and said he loved me when he left. Since then a few I miss you e-mails. I sent him a note asking what he wants from me, I am very confused. That was 3 days ago. No answer from him, WTF. Any ideas whats in his head? He is a MM I am a MW. We have been on and off for 1-1/2 years. Yes I love him. But I am so pissed at him for not dealing with the tough questions... is he a total coward? HELP PLEASE
fooled once Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I went nc for 3 months he never tried to contact me. Then out of the blue show up at my work. We work in the same fiield, so it was indeed work related but could have been done by phone with my co-workers. There was incredible chemistry and I shook like a leave. He really unravels me. He hugged me and said he loved me when he left. Since then a few I miss you e-mails. I sent him a note asking what he wants from me, I am very confused. That was 3 days ago. No answer from him, WTF. Any ideas whats in his head? He is a MM I am a MW. We have been on and off for 1-1/2 years. Yes I love him. But I am so pissed at him for not dealing with the tough questions... is he a total coward? HELP PLEASE In my view...... He is wondering if you want to pick right back up where you were. He wants to know if he can continue to play with you. He wants to know if he still can get you into bed.
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Just ignore him? He is so passive...it feel like bad game of chess... my move or his move?
h2ofrek Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 By MM and MW, you do mean Married Man and Married Woman, don't you?
Lucky_One Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 In my view...... He is wondering if you want to pick right back up where you were. He wants to know if he can continue to play with you. He wants to know if he still can get you into bed. Ditto. Bingo. Nailed it.
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 holy hell, this is one crazy ride. I am sitting here logged into my gmail awaitng a msg from him. Pathetic eh?
h2ofrek Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 MM/MW? What does this mean, exactly? I am confused on these 2 terms. Thanx
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 I know you are right... and yet if I was completely honest with myself I would admit to him that I would love to be back in his arms. What am I doing... I used to be so damn sensible and logical.
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 MM/MW? What does this mean, exactly? I am confused on these 2 terms. Thanx Married Man, Married Woman
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 he's confused too.... why do you say this?
Lucky_One Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Why'd you end? It seems to me that the most "successful" affairs are those between two married partners who both are reasonably content in their marriages. How did the two of you fall into that paradigm?
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 lucky - interesting you say that. my AP & I were together for years. we were both happy in our marriages as well. no intent on ending either situation. infact, when we were "busted" our affair was going stronger than ever.
Lucky_One Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 temp t/j I think that with MMs and MWs, there is a basic equality of power. The AP has a partner to lean on and get support from when their AP is busy at home, whereas a SOP often neglects friends and family in order to be available when their MP wants to see them, so their support system gets thin. Toss in some loving emotion from the SOP, and you get an AP who is needy and unhappy and miserable when they are apart from the MP.
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Why'd you end? It seems to me that the most "successful" affairs are those between two married partners who both are reasonably content in their marriages. How did the two of you fall into that paradigm? How complicated a question this is... truth is I don't think we ever really did "officially" end things. We just both have times when the guilt gets to be too much and we stop emailing for a time. Then we get thrown backk together, fate (bumed into each other in a local coffee shop), this week he popped into my workplace. That one was intentional. hmmmm. Mostly we end it because of guilt. We both have good marriage partners. No bad guys in this story. We suck.
Author beachbabyblues Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 temp t/j I think that with MMs and MWs, there is a basic equality of power. The AP has a partner to lean on and get support from when their AP is busy at home, whereas a SOP often neglects friends and family in order to be available when their MP wants to see them, so their support system gets thin. Toss in some loving emotion from the SOP, and you get an AP who is needy and unhappy and miserable when they are apart from the MP. I seperated from my husband for 2 months at the beginning of this A because I thought I was doing the "right" thing. That was the very worst time for me. My AP did not do the same. I was so lonely and messed up. I was such a coward. I asked my H to take me back. Made promisses that I have not kept. I have been a horrible wife. This is the only thing I know for sure. Thank you for your input. It helps.
whichwayisup Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Does your H know about the A? The mistake you made is reaching out to him after he came by to see you. He was FISHING, seeing if you still 'had it' for it...He knows you do and he got his ego feed, that's why he hasn't contacted you again. You begged your H to take you back, then the best thing you can do now is CUT MM out of your life completely, seek one on one counseling to help you get over and deal with letting go of MM so you can reconnect with your H, work hard to prove to him that you ARE worthy of a second chance. To continue to want MM, see/talk to him, email him, and try to reconnect with your H is pointless.. Stay strong, you can do this if you truly want your marriage and H back.
fooled once Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I seperated from my husband for 2 months at the beginning of this A because I thought I was doing the "right" thing. That was the very worst time for me. My AP did not do the same. I was so lonely and messed up. I was such a coward. I asked my H to take me back. Made promisses that I have not kept. I have been a horrible wife. This is the only thing I know for sure. Thank you for your input. It helps. Then maybe you need to come clean to your H. Seems like he is totally innocent in all this and you sound like you have no desire to remain truthful to him. So start back up with the MM but at least set your H free. And FYI - you don't have to "officially" end an affair...
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